Jas11 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Help. I am a RCM and have a 7 year old child who I look after everyday before and afterschool. BUT unfortunately he does not want to do anything. All he wants to do is watch TV and thats it. I have tried everything. He is not a shy and retiring child by any means, in fact, he is a lot older than his years and his vocabulary is very extensive to the point where the other kids have no idea what he is talking about. When he speaks he is very to the point and often talks about death/dying/what would happen if? questions. He is a little overweight and has no exercise at home either (i know this for definate) so we try and get him to play out but all he says is "I know what you are trying to do and it won't work" and he just sits there! Help.....
Beau Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Hi Julie and welcome to the forum. I take it that watching TV is not an option you offer at all, however insistent he may be. My advice is to be consistent in this and make sure you have plenty of other, interesting activities on offer. Since he appears to be quite an intelligent child I think it would be a good idea to be straight with him about why TV isn't an option and involve him in coming up with ideas for alternative things to do. There really is little point in trying to 'make' him join in with more physical activities if this is not what he wants, as all this will achieve is a feeling of resentment on his part. Unfortunately it is unlikely that you are going to be able to change any bad habits he may have picked up due to the sort of life he leads at home, all you can try to do is make sure that these are not perpetuated whilst he is in your care. Good luck.
Rea Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Hi Julie, welcome to the forum. My son is overweight, he's 15 and wouldnt move if the house fell down around him, unless he was offered money. So I know the battles you probably have. Maybe your lad just wants to chill out before lessons and after them. I know we should be encouraging active children, but if you've encouraged and he still refuses, I doubt theres much you can do. I realise also that you have to work with Ofsted guidelines (dont know what these are though) but I have been in an after school club where I felt like telling the leader to lay off the kids, after school is their time. And on a personal point, I was happy to let my lads flop in front of the tele or with the games console when they were little, schools hard work. If he says he knows what you're trying to do, have you asked him whats so wrong with it? Good luck with him
Rea Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 We crossed posts there Beau, and offered completely different views
Guest Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Hi and welcome to the forum great question Really hard to deal with, especially as you have tried loads already, the only advice I can give is through my own experience of my daughter who would love nothing more than to sit and look at TV. I allow her just an hour and then it is turned off - I expect you have already tried this though. It could also be that he has not had many experiences of "just playing" and you may well need to spend time "just playing" - does the child have siblings or go to any clubs ? Worth also speaking to parents about what the school says. Hope all turns out, but do let us know how you get on Dot
Beau Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 We crossed posts there Beau, and offered completely different views Perhaps not completely different - just slightly at a tangent. I know what you are saying Rea and I sort of agree with you but not about the TV part of it. Children watch far too much and if this is what he does primarily at home then I think it is even more important to offer alternatives in a childcare setting. What I am not advocating is that he is made to join in with adult led activities, but that perhaps he can be helped into exploring different types of activities as an alternative. As dot as pointed out, perhaps he hasn't had much experience of 'just playing' and needs a little help in this area to get him started. I believe that children can lounge and relax without having to resort to TV or games consoles.
Guest Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 hi It's really hard trying to get a balance with children even as a mum I have boys aged 6 and 8 and I will admit when they come home from school all they want to do is relax with some TV. My older child is really bright and works hard at school, but all that concentration just exhausts him and he justs wants to forget about it. But after an hour or so when they have both chilled, TV goes off and they go to the garden, last night it was a wild indiana jones game - lots of action and running till called in for baths (neighbours must have loved them!!) It's hard can you interest him in some games / play around tv programmes - even in the playground mine seem to play dr who etc. at 7 tv is a big influence. What about ICT - digital camera, on PC Dr Who web site is fab as they have to make trailers etc or lego web site is inspiring they make models on the web site. Good luck 7 year old boys are fun
HappyMaz Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 We crossed posts there Beau, and offered completely different views I'm not sure you did, really Beau. Its a fine line isn't it between offering children the best experience you can in line with your own principles and providing children with an environment in which their own views are respected. After all, if his views were totally respected he'd be sat in front of the tv all the time! I agree that if he is really anti-exercise then you're on a losing wicket in trying to make him join in - but I like the suggestion of using his intelligence to come up with his own ideas of what to do during non-tv times. Does he have any particular interests (even those that started out as tv programmes but could be developed by offering more 'hands on' activities - even if they can be done from the comfort of the sofa!)? Have you spoken to mum about your concerns? She may have strategies that work, although she may let him sit in front of the tv at home a lot - either way she needs to be happy with the approach you take to this when he is in your care. Equally, you can't compromise your own beliefs to the extent that the tv becomes the focal point of your provision and other activities you offer get marginalised. This might be a 'drip, drip, drip' situation when you need to keep plugging away in the hope that he begins to see the value in getting involved in other things - like Dot said he might just not be very comfortable with the idea of 'just playing'... Good luck! Maz
Guest Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 I'd go with the 'negotiated compromise', TV being the reward for coming up with his own ideas for something else to do prior to TV. I'm curious with your description of him asking What happens if questions, Is there any main theme to these questions? Can alternative interests be gleened from these which could be translated into activities which interest him? Would he be interested in board games?, even designing and making his own board game? Is i possible to actually go out for a walk away frm the house, to the park, shops, library, swimming etc, just for even one day a week? Have you spoken to the parents, what do they say about what they expect you to offer their son? Must admit I'm intrigued having a 13 yr old who is addicted to TV but will find something else to do when I turn it off and hide the conrols 1 hr after he's had his 'chill out' time. Peggy
Guest Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Hi Julie, a warm welcome from one RCM to another! You must be very frustrated, this behaviour can have a big impact on the rest of the children who will be watching to see how you handle it! Has this child been with you long? Is he an only child? Does he find it hard to relate to children his own age in school? It sounds as if he's quite isolated and I have seen a similar thing with another (younger) child who had an advanced vocabulary. It seemed to set him apart from his peers in Toddlers and Nursery and he's not one of the "popular" children included in Reception either - excluded from parties & play dates Can't offer you any magic solution, I'm afraid, other than to ask his parents how they handle it at home and try some of the ideas given here already. Watching T.V before & after school was an issue raised in our EYFS training but we were advised that it fit into ECM and letting children relax & have quiet time Nona
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