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Boys Vs Girls


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Spoilsport!

Actually we keep teasing my nearly eleven year old that if he's not careful he'll get shipped off to the girls school!

 

My fifteen year old thinks if there were girls in his school the boys' behaviour would improve no end!

 

Maz

 

PS I've never seen a post edited on the grounds of flippancy! Heaven knows I wouldn't haveany posts to my name at all :o

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Just finished reading "we don't play with guns here" by penny holland re super hero role play (SHRP) but interesting thoughts on how some boys perceive the praise we constantly give girls for quiet, sitting down type behaviours whilst (if there is a ban on SHRP) we negate their active behaviour as "bad". Because they are develeoping their sense of gender difference, they see the "good" behaviour as being that of girls, and so we create uttter confusion basically. When the zero tolerance of SHRP was relaxed then boys became more comfortable with exploring more "girl" oriented activities as they became more secure with their own identity and therefore willing to go across the boundaries. She also had some points about chn who say things such as "men can't be nurses" as being part of this clarification of identity as a boy/girl where they are generating "rules" in the same sort of way they generate language understanding e.g. using "ed" for every past tense I goed etc. This world view becomes refined as they experience differently. Of course the advertising around toys etc is more and more blatantly gender oriented which will inform their initial views. Interesting read if you haven't looked at it.

Cx

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Can anyone suggest how i explain to staff the reasons for not grouping children according to gender? I know we should not be doing this but have been involved in an assignment on difference and diversity but it is such a huge subject that I wondered if there was a short sweet acceptable explanation for staff who continually say "all the boys line up".

 

Thanks x :o

 

We sometimes ask ours to go to the cloakroom in this way, at other times girl boy, or sometimes they line up in any order they choose. The reason I sometimes ask only boys or girls is to teach them what gender they are, many are unsure, or dont know. By modelling in this way, they gain knowledge of what they are and also of what the other sex is.

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The whole ' we don't play with guns' issue is close to my heart just now. We are living in Canada temporarily and I am teaching 'Pre-Kindergarten' (3 to 5 year olds) in a small, rural community. Guns are the preferred 'game' of the boys - any bit of wood/lego/train track will do. I am constantly saying 'we don't play with guns at school' - but as all their Dads own guns, and spend every spare moment hunting, they really cannot see the problem!

As for the gender issue, I have boy/girl twins of my own plus 2 older girls. As a toddler my son played happily in beads and tutu - or whatever the girls put on him - and happily had his nails painted. Toys were just toys . . . until he went to Nursery. Then 'girls toys' and 'boys toys' became a big issue, and remained so. Mind you, at 10 he hates football - while his twin sister plays for our local team!

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Congratulations Planetbedlam on making your first post from Canada and welcome to the forum.

Hope you enjoy browsing around the site and if you are after anything in particular you can always check out the search option found on the top right hand side of your screen.

Looking forward to hearing more about you and your life in Canada.

:o

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Guest Jolande

Can I suggest the book 'raising boys'? I personally believe that over the past years, we have become hung-up about equality. It is important to remember that all children (and adults) are equal, of course, but it is even more important to realise all children (and adults) are also INDIVIDUAL. Speaking highly generalised, boys are different from girls. Unfortunatly, in society today, the word 'different' has become synonimous with the word 'less good', which is simply not the case. For those of you who are women, you know fine well that men are different from us. And for those of you who are men, you know fine well that women are different from you. So why can we not acknowledge this for children as well? Boys fair better in certain areas then girls (again, highly generalised), so why force girls into a situation where they have to achieve beyond their abilities and vice-versa? Why not identify which areas girls fair better in than boys, and boys fair better in than girls and separate them in these areas according to gender? And there are certain areas that boys and girls do equally well in, so keep them together during those activities. I am all for equality in toys and activities, but I also think it is important to realise the different strenghts in each gender, and emphasize these so each child can excel in their own areas.

 

Thanks lots!

Jolande

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:o Hi this my first post so not sure what to put. I am doing My foundation Degree and for my next assingnment I have to do a Research Project. I am very interested in the boy girl debate and wether they should be taught differently also if war games and superhero play can help boys to achevie more in EYFS as in the new EYFS guidence it states that boys are falling behind girls. If anyone has any ideas of help were I can get some information it would be greatly received. Thanks

Gill

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With the EYFS every child will be seen as an individual and planning for that child will also be done individually. So in some respects maybe this will help alleviate the grouping issue.

 

I think a lot of the boy/girl issue stems from society my boys have always loved playing with my old childhood pushchair, as soon as my mother in law saw them she immediately said "why on earth are you playing with that girls toy!" I immediately responded by saying they enjoy playing with a pushchair and daddy has always helped out with looking after the children. I realise that this attitude will never change it is something that some people feel very strongly about and this was the way that they were educate.

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:o Hi this my first post so not sure what to put.

Welcome to the Forum! Now the first post is out of the way, there will be no stopping you!

 

Good luck with the Foundation Degree and research project - you'll find lots of inspiration on here!

 

Maz

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Can I suggest the book 'raising boys'? Jolande

Certainly can Jolande (welcome to the Forum by the way!). Steve Biddulph talks a lot of sense - although some of his assertions are a little tricky for those of us who work in childcare...

 

Maz

 

PS This was the book you meant wasn't it? Am a bit brain dead tonight (and that's before Weight Watchers and Rangers! :o )

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