Rea Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Do you think perhapes that she was having a bad day on the day she went running to the chair and has subsequently regreted this has all happened? Maybe she didnt expect things to be taken so seriously and merely wanted a rant. The committee could be hoping to get a real closure on this. I'd say that having sent a letter and having no response closes the matter, but as you have to work with her, I'd want to know how the land lies. Is she going to be difficult over things, are you going to feel you cant speak to her about things you could talk to other staff about? I think you need a meeting with the committee to iron out a few things, not all of which relate to this incident. Things like the staff records being off site, greivence procedures, your role, and that of the staff and committee. Get things down on paper, we live and learn Mcfletch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I agree with Rea - I am just coming through an extremely difficult period with a member of staff and it is only resolving because we both had a full and frank exchange of views. We were at the stage of not being able to speak to each other comfortably because each was wary of the other's reaction. I also think Rea is probably right when she says the member of staff didn't realise how seriously this would be taken. However, t the end of the day she has falsely accused you of something and this should not to unacknowledged. You will need to work through all this if your working relationship is to get back on an even keel. Its difficult to do (and you might need a third party to mediate!) but I do think its necessary. I hope it resolves itself! Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 No the member of staff resigned although I said I would welcome her back, I think she was leaving anyway due to personal issues and yes I do think she regrets running to the chair, as she has not responded to committee letter. It seems to be the committee rather than the member of staff determined to carry this on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 The committee need to be seen to do everything possible in terms of letting this person air her grievance, otherwise they might end up facing an allegation of constructive dismissal themselves. Also, don't get mixed up between a grievance and a disciplinary. The committee have to take any grievance seriously and investigate it, even if it is unfounded. This doesn't mean that it will be upheld or that you are being accused by them in any way. Hopefully if this person has resigned and decides not to follow it up then that will be the end of the matter in any case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 oh my goodness what a terrible time for you. I can't wait to get away from my setting, in a sad way I am glad to hear that other people are having difficulties with committee run settings, so that I know it is not just me. But on the other hand my heart goes out to you knowing what you are going through. never again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 If she's resigned then the affair is at an end surely? Anything else the committee want to talk to you about should be seen as seperate to this issue. I personaly would distance myself from all this now. If the committee want to discuss your role with regards to how you deal with staffing issues then let them take advice on the role of the manager and go from there. They are not to impose their ideas of your role based on this incident. Take heart from the fact that the rest of your staff are with you. Have a great end of term party, buy more wine than you should and tell the committee you will speak to them regarding everyones role in the new year. When I was at senior school, I would get into trouble (occassionally) and tell my dad I had to see the head, he would always tell me to 'be polite, look like your listening and say 'yes sir' but dont pay any attention to what he says. Never let him worry you'. Mom would add 'he goes to the loo the same as the rest of us, hes not so special'. Bad, bad, mommy and daddy for their total disregard for authority but its always stayed with me and I've never felt bullied since. Dont let them upset you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Thank you for good advice think I am getting paranoid committee are all related or friends of deputy and I have even started to think that is why they want me out to give her my job which is getting ridiculous as we get on well. I think I will see if any jobs going at Tesco's lol xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 sadly all the stress of the problems start to play tricks on your mind and I have also started to think silly things, and guess what - looking for a job at TESCO'S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 im so sorry thats its ended like that , but as Rea says if she has left it should be closed!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 No not Tescos. Went there at the weekend, usually go to Sainsburys, they have so much yummy stuff you'd spend all you wages before you got home Maybe after Christmas you'll both be feeling differently about things, wait and see Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 If she's resigned then the affair is at an end surely? Anything else the committee want to talk to you about should be seen as seperate to this issue. I don't think its this easy, Rea - the committee will need to protect itself against a possible claim for constructive dismissal, so they will need to make sure (and possibly prove) that they have done all they can to support this person in getting her grievance resolved. This might include being able to show that the person was given every opportunity to make her grievance 'official' and to air her views to the committee (or selected members who are designated to handle such matters). Otherwise she may be tempted to go to a tribunal and claim that she felt unable to continue in her position because her grievance hadn't been properly dealt with... Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I feel so sorry for you mcfletch with all this still hanging over you. I hope it gets sorted soon so you can enjoy Christmas. Hang on in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Like you Jessica I have so much empathy for you McFeltch, my committee have drove me away from my setting, (sorry to generalise - they are not all bad) I was living in hope that it would change next year seems like they are all staying for a two- year term!! I know what you mean though Jess - poor you McFletch, eats away at your every thought doesn't it - please try to prioritise on the really important things in your life - family and stuff? I know it is easier said than done, I don't think I have slept properly for weeks now. Still I have been drastic and won't have to be in this situation after Christmas, back to a setting with NO committee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 oh Shirel, I could have written your post, you seem to be in the same position as me. Sometimes manage to get by on two hours sleep after going over things in my head again and again. have you handed your notice in to the committee? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Hang on in there guys! I know how committee's can be a pain in the posterior, but they do come and go and there is always hope that you will get a brand new sparkly one, with bells on! When I took over, the previous chair said to me 'there was a carrier bag full of a few bits of paper, but I threw them away'!!!!!!! So my new Chair started afresh, she asked me alot of questions and I couldn't answer them as I really hadn't a clue what a committee did! I have managed to work with them through a disciplinary, which ended up with my feeling alienated, distanced and unsure of why, until I realised their role and that they had to ensure their decisions could not be revoked. Your mind does play tricks when you feel this worried, but I would say hang on in there, take time to understand the role of the committee and remain professional at all times. Don't look for a job in Tesco's unless you really feel they need your wonderful teaching and supporting skills - and Tesco's will help you pile on the pounds as well as emptying the purse! You are almost through it, just got to repair yourself from this experience and put on a new coat of armour...remember, you have been right all along and your previous posts and responses serve as a reminder of that! x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 i agree committees can be terrible but also very supportive also i had a bad time 18mths ago luckily , eventually some committee members saw through the problem , chair resigned and we havnt looked back since - i too threatened to resign - had, had enough but stuck with it through the support of my staff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Agree with you all, some excellent sentiments cirhossa! The symptons many of you are describing sound a bit like stress to me, especially the lack of sleep. Often we all claim to feel stressed at the little things in life but occasionally we can feel debilitated by 'real stress'. I don't claim to be an expert but I have witnessed some. It can affect your self-esteem. If you feel very low, make an appointment to see your doctor, sometimes just talking to someone else who understands how you are feeling can help, take time for yourself, get some fresh air, time with friends, most of all believe in yourself, you will come out of this stronger. I have worked with committees for the last 17 years or so either as a committee member or member of staff, with a bit of time off in the middle for good behaviour. There are good and bad. I have made good friends with some, and am on friendly terms with lots of people, and avoid others at all costs!! I too empathise, am finding my current situation very trying, but as I said before sometimes you have to take a stand if you believe you are right, the trouble is you begin to doubt yourself, have hopefully turned a corner with support of staff and other committee members but I do know how it affects your wellbeing. Believe in yourself, enlighten everyone else! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Hi Shirel I have been reading this thread with interest as we are having an awful time, and it's been going on now for 2 years. You mention you are going without a committee - How did you do this? This is something i was thinking of doing but not sure how to go about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 The committee have invited the member of staff to a formal meeting on the 15th of January so will let you all know what happens then,. I am trying to forget it all until after christmas. Once again thank you for all your support and advice x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 The committee have invited the member of staff to a formal meeting on the 15th of January so will let you all know what happens then,. I am trying to forget it all until after christmas. Once again thank you for all your support and advice x .......in the mean time, a large dose of Christmas spirit and mixer would be appropriate to help you bury it all until term begins again x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 (edited) Sorry Simcity I am actually leaving the setting, I cannot work with the committee set-up - I am rejoining a privately ran setting after Christmas. Sorry I can't be of any help - I am bailing out! I am so sorry for you Jessica, I hope you can resolve your problems with the committee, I feel a bit of a failure - but I had to really prioritise .....my life and my family and my studying were both suffering from the stress and when I started to really look at the situation I realised nothing was worth that - so I drastically resigned and am now waiting for the feeling of failure and stress to pass so that I can sleep again, I am sure it will as I am returning to work at a setting that I should of never left some time ago, just so lucky that they welcomed me back with open arms. Edited December 19, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dublinbay Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 So glad to hear there is a light at the end of your tunnel Shirel. For those others on this thread, I pray that the outcomes will be good. At the moment our committee are very good and positive and appreciate all the work that goes into our jobs. These civillians have no right to reduce us to the quivering messes some of us are in and in the end it is usually their children who suffer along with us. In the old days when things were not so complicated I suppose committees were a godsend but things do change and not always for the best. We have, along with many more groups I'm sure, have tried to get out of this clause, to no avail. Because we are a charitable-run playgroup the PLA would take over, distribute all assets (resources) among the other community groups and we would have to start up again with no funds, resources etc. A big, sorry mess!! Until things change we put up with the bad (committee members) along with the good. Hope all of you going through some difficult times at the moment remember that in the end IT IS ONLY A JOB and that your families and your health are the most important things in the world. Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Shirel my heart went out to you when I read your post. Sometimes by far the bravest thing to do is accept that things have not worked out despite our best efforts to do the right thing (or encourage others to do so!), and move on. Generally I think we struggle on for too long sometimes and then everything else that is worthwhile in our lives gets affected. I admire you so much for standing up for what you believe in and getting out as soon as you realised that nothing was going to change. Easy for me to say though - and I can understand what you say about guilt etc. I hope you can take the time to process what you have been through, and enjoy Christmas knowing that you have made the right decision both for you and your family. As for the group you have left - they must surely realise what an asset they have lost, and hopefully will reflect on what has happened and how they can avoid losing good practitioners in future. But hey - if they don't do this then you don't have to worry about it any more. You did all that you could. Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 To ShireL, and all others facing difficult decisions, trust in your concientious (spl?), commited professionalism, which has given you the knowledge to MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION, the only fault if any is that we take too long somtimes to make it. Using the analogy of a car journey, sometimes we come to a cross roads on route, trust that you do make the right decision whether to continue on your current journey, or turn left or right, and be assured there are many more crossroads ahead, many with sat nav support and some more with no clue which way to go until you get to the cross road. Following my recent car journey, believe me, there are so many more fundamentaly more important things to worry about in life than work - family, health and life itself. Without putting these first our body & mind (cars) wouldn't have any fuel to run on, and our career journey would be less efficient / satisfactory anyway. ShireL enjoy your new/old job and best wishes for 2008. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 i agree Shire you have put up with enough - well done for having the confidence to call it a day (i didnt have your confidence going through similar 18mths ago) i am sure you have made the right decision for u and ur family have a fabulous stress free christmas and good luck for January!!It will be fab!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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