Have You Got Your Dewey?

[luluj]

Heard this last night ... 'Have you got your dewey?' (Dummy) What's more,feeder cup on hand and heard child asking for a 'bic-bic.' (Had to grit my teeth..) This was grandma ,so tried to take this into account, however point is that dummy and feeder cup sent with parents.

CHILD STARTS SCHOOL IN SEPTEMBER! Am not a mum, so is it me?Concerns for this child as he begins school.

Thank you so much for any feedback you may be able to offer to help me gain an impartial insight.

luluj

[Susan]

I wouldnt be over concerned by the feeder cup as it could be more to stop drink spilling and enabling transportation of it rather than a need. Child should be able to use a conventional cup by this stage though and the dummy does seem unnecessary at this age but they can be very difficult to get rid of! Baby words for things are also not too much of a problem providing child knows full/ real word.

[Inge]

feeder cups are frequently used for ease...no spills or carrying at least it wasnt a bottle! have seen this with children moving on to school.

 

language does depend on childs level of undestanding and skills, but I have seen some who still use 'baby language' and not use anything else or understand it when moving to school, despite all our hard work. if this is the case it does concern me a little but find with moving to school it can change quickly.

 

Some parents and grandparents do not like to see a child 'grow up' and want to keep them young , parents often come to us when child is 3 and say they want their baby to start pre-school. We try to find a diplomatic way of saying actually they are no longer a baby.

Lots of variables as to how old the child is, younger end of school entry? we have had several children start school leaving us with the dummies and immature language, but as long as we can inform school of their abilities they tend to cach up over the next year..some parents find this milestone a time that they can then 'grow up'.

 

Personally, we never used baby language, or a bottle, feeder cup for a short time before cup but not long, and independance from quite a young age. But i feel that is down to the child as much as me. My child did use a dummy but from early on it was only used in bed so if wanted thats where he went ......hence he only used it for sleep.... I do know they can be hard to dispose of when childlen are dependant on them for comfort..(unless like mine who decided on his 3rd birthday that the didnt want it and put it in the dustbin just as the men were collecting it.. just picture a 3yr old running down the path bare foot in pyjamas at 7.30 to beat the binmen!! We never found out why as we had never said anything about getting rid)

 

SO all depends on variables ... child may find it hard to cope at start but if all is well will probably catch up over the year...I just feel for the teacher

 

Inge

[luluj]

Thank you for your replies.Have helped me to put things imuch more into perspective. I think the point about 'not wanting to let go' is definitely true in this case. Never thought of 'Starting school' as a milestone for parents too but think this is so true. What a wonderful little story of your little one rushing to get to the bin! Thanx for sharing.

luluj

[Guest]

Well, my little one is due to start school next September (I really had to resist the urge to call her 'the baby' ) and I am dreading it. We have a little boy at nursery at the moment who is off to school in September and although his vocabulary is fantastic (he comes out with words that even I don't know),, he is still wheeled to nursery in a buggy, he has difficulty feeding himself (because he is fed at home) and has relatively poor social skills.

 

We have spoken to the parents about this and been told that it is largely down to the grandparents, so we are working alongside them now to tackle this. We have also introduced the use of a Persona Doll and I am hoping (as I am piloting it within the nursery) that this will help with the social skills issues for this child and a couple of others.

[narnia]

yes, it's hard for parents too.................I have never spoken to my children in 'babyspeak', apart form when they were tiny babies, and i always called things by their correct names.So, it does irritate me when parents of 3 and more particularly, 4 year olds refer to things such as moo cows,birdies ,neeeenarrs and snap-snaps ( I kid you not..the crocodiles in our Noahs Ark........!!) or, the 41/2 child who told me he was' gun to park wiv creeeeepy n mummy..............it took me some time to figure out who 'creepy' was! is it your dog??cat??hamster??toy?? nope, 'creepy' is his bike, 'cos it got spaders on it'.........(spiders/bugs), this little boy, still arrives on occasion with a baby bottle ,still regularly wets himself, occasionally soils himself(unaware each time) and yet, knows all his colours, counts reliably to 10, recognises the numbers when written down, or on posters, books etc, can ride a bike and turn it round on a sixpenny piece if necessary......but has the social skills of a charging rhino!! I wan bike!!! i wan bike!!..........but this is how mum speaks to him...as if he is a small baby or toddler.Health visitor did a SOGS assessment which brought the childs developmental stage to about 30 months but he, like me says that it's mum's parenting style which has affected him.And yet..school in september! So, we're working like crazy things to try to get him ready, including i'm afraid, having a stern word with mum about the language.........and telling her that he'll need more formal language skills in school.She smiled, said 'yes, i know, but he's only little still'...........lord help him, it's abig, tough world out there,so we'll do our best, and as an all year round setting, we do have the summer to continue......fingers crossed

[Marion]

I have a number of children in my reception class who tell me they still have bottles at home at bedtime and many of them 'ride' to school in buggies and have atrocious physical skills.I had a child in my Y1 class a few years ago who had a dummy a bottle and wore nappies at home although she was dry all day at school. Her teeth were twisted and her speech very delayed probably because she never had the dummy out of her mouth apart from at school.

I have a child due to start in September who has been assessed as functioning at the language level of an 18 month child I really don't think some parents and grandparents realise the problems they may cause in keeping children babies.

[luluj]

Thank you so much for your replies. Acted as a catalyst to speaK with family. Hope I can do sensitively. Also hope that if positive, will give parents a lead into talking to Nursery staff. Clare,am not a mum as you know but have tissues and 1st day photos for first day of school. Must be very,very hard.

luluj

[JacquieL]

There is a book called 'The Last Noo Noo" by Jill Murphy. I found it enthralled my reception class, and they would ask for it to be read again and again so it obviously struck a chord. It might be some help at storytime.

[Guest]

I have found this topic interesting, as manager of a pre-school and out of school club we come across this problem a lot. Lots of ourchildren have soothers when they come at 2yrs but most sensibly leave them at home or put them in their draw by the time they move on to nursery.

I find the most difficult task is to persuade parents that their child is ready to be toilet trained. parents often bring them back in nappies after one accident and more each year are leaving our care to go to nursery still in nappies.

back to keeping children babies we have 2 sisters attending our after school club one 9 the other 6 both are above average ability. the 9yr old brings in her baby blanket to snuggle every morning and after staying at a freinds who had taken her to school she had her baby bottle in her bag which she fills with milk to take to bed. her sister carries a dummy in her pocket at all times though goes to the loo to suck it. she has a thing for dressing up and will attend school all day dressed as piglet and showed us her babygrow she wears for bed when gran picks her up. in 25 yrs of childcare I have not come across this , the only reason I think the girls do this is because the parents are constantly bickering and splitting up. the girls are also spoilt rotten.School has been informed and know about the family circumstances .

[bubblejack]

I have an increasing amount of children that do rely on dummies, bottles,blankets and other comforters but surprisingly enough they do seem to adapt to not having them when in pre-school. I am often quietly horrified when the grown up pre-schooler goes home in a pushchair with a dummy and a blanket.I just think what a useful job I am doing.

[luluj]

Marion, I meant to convey thanks in pointing out the 'Speech delay' issue. Have really noticed this on reflection and although am open minded about it having more than a 'dummy issue' it nevertheless made me think. Thank you. luluj

[luluj]

Thank you so much for your further replies. I am not familiar with the book,The last noo-noo' (which probably makes me one given this super author!) but just doing a quick search it may seem the very thing to help manage a sensitive situation as well as a wonderful classroom resource.Many thanks for this pointer JacquieL.

Goodness suewhit what a complex situation in terms of the two sisters-it seems to have so many strands to it. How my heart goes out to these 2 children. It makes the need of a dummy and a feeder cup seem mild! You must be most anxious about what will happen to them in the future...Bubblejack you are certainly doing a wonderful job, when children (without special needs as above) are absorbed in your setting without a need to have them there. Thanks again to you all for your feedback. luluj