Guest Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 (edited) HI today has been one of those days where it would have been better had i stayed in bed!. Today my senior left, so on monday i gave her an exit interview questionnaire to use in anticipation of her exit interview, she gave me the questionnaire back today at 9 am, in it she was rather personal in her responses, absoloutly slating my management style... I had to do her interview and i just did it as a one way exchange, i asked questions and she answered and i wrote down her answers word for word (have learnt my lesson on that one!!!!) her answers were hard to hear because again they were personal, and although they were her feelings and are indeed valid, i can't see where they have come from as she has never challenged my style until she decided to leave..... at the end of the interview she asked me what had changed and why i had been off with her since she became senior, i tgld her that in light of the fact that her comments had been personal (in the exit questionnaire and her appraisal) i did not feel like i wanted to enter into a discussion with her about it....maybe that was the wrong response i don't know, but i do know i was feeling hurt from what i had heard and was not wanting to discuss it with her since it had become so personal. At the end of the interview i also told her that i would be forwarding a copy of the exit interview questionnaire and interview to my directors as i felt they should knowabout it (they already did know about it as i had phoned them), however my senior said to me ' oh don't worry i have sent them a copy already', and grinned at me!!!!!... i then said (rightly or wrongly) that i assumed there would be a letter of complaint in there as well to which she would not answer. Now i have kept my directors in the loop so none of this will come as a surprise to them but i am so cross that A) it all got personal and B ) i am now going to have to justify this away to my mangers... so yep, really crap day,... and to add insult to injury senior invites me out to her leaving meal, (I think she would attempt to poison my food LOL) so am not going, but have said i may (and its a huge may) meet for drinks afterwards.... so thank goodness its friday, and now dreading next week as i know i will have my directors to answer too as well Dawn Edited April 27, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 What a crappy end to a good week - especially after your FAB appraisal. It is good that she was honest with you, but a shame that she didn't bring it up before now so that you could have done something about it. Obviously I don't know what her comments or grumbles were, but you are valued by your employers, and you have been open and honest with them, so I don't feel that you have anything to worry about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Oh Dawn, the managers job is a lonely one, we are expected to read everyones thoughts and feelings and to know when they are upset, annoyed with us etc. You handles the interview well by not getting into a discussion about 'personal' comments. As a mature adult she should have been able to voice constructive critisism, her views as you say are valid, but not personal attacks. maybe that wasn't her intention but you nevertheless feel them as attacks. If you can, and maybe want to, do go for a drink, show that you can take critisism and maybe in a social environment you may see a side of each other not seen at work with the pressures of leadership and work conflict that has developed between you both. If not, don't worry if you decide not to go, it is yor perogative. As for the directors, you have kept them up to speed with your situation as the new manager and all that has entailed regards staff dynamics, they may discuss issues with you but more in terms of 'What can we learn from this, what issues are too personal, pedantic to ignore, what needs considering and are there any changes required OR NOT. Although comments were personal, try not to let them upset you, they are only as strong as you let them be in terms of affecting you opinion of yourself or the way you do things. It is so hard when people who are not managers don't understand or see the full picture of what your role is, the full context of every situation they are judging your abilities on. You don't have to justify yourself to people who don't have the full picture, you only have to justify yourself to your own values and beliefs and the expectations of your directors. Some things I have learnt about you and I am sure your directors are aware of is that you have a passion for your work, your are committed to giving it your all, you don't pretend to know everything, are eager to learn and actually appreciate constructive critisism and always appear to endeavour to reflect on your own practice and improve whenever and whereever you can. Chin up, it is Friday, ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND, and leave Monday to Monday. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Thank you peggy, that was really useful advice and lovely to read, so thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Praesus Infelix Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Just remember - no experience is ever wasted! Whilst you may not want to even think about it now (and I recommend a couple of months for you to recuperate) I can thoroughly recommend the free business/management training courses that are run by A4e for a number of EY groups. It's only with hindsight and practice that this kind of "feedback" gets easier to handle. And you know what? We're all human and we're all doing the best we can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Its sods law isn't it, that you have a fab week and it ends this way, oh well..... i think your right in saying i don't have anything to worry about, at least i hope i dont... anyhow got hold of EYFS today so that will keep me pre-occupied most of the weekend LOL, so no time for worrying Have a great weekend Dawn What a crappy end to a good week - especially after your FAB appraisal. It is good that she was honest with you, but a shame that she didn't bring it up before now so that you could have done something about it. Obviously I don't know what her comments or grumbles were, but you are valued by your employers, and you have been open and honest with them, so I don't feel that you have anything to worry about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wellerkaren Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 have a good weekend you can only learn form these things just hink next week can only get better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 (edited) Oh Dawn, what a crappy end to the week, I really feel for you, sending you lots of virtual love. Try and have a good weekend. I have had a rubbish end to the week also - don't feel up to posting about it yet, but I know you are all there if I need, work-related, ho hum! Edited April 27, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Your appraisal was fab this week Dawn, and I'm sure your directors will have that in mind when they read the exit interview and the letter she may/may not have sent. I learnt a long time ago not to let other people worry me. I learn from peoples comments but dont let them rule me, I'm bigger than that and for every one negative comment there are two positives I can think back to. If the majority of my staff were happy, the children and their parents came back and I received good feedback from other professionals who visited then I could only do what I could. I am human, perfection was a little out of my reach Have a good weekend and go back on monday refreshed and ready to start a new era Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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