What A Wake Up Call!

[Guest]

HI all,

 

Today i carried out an exit from work interview with a member of staff who is leaving, she was initially asked to complete a pretty bog standard questionnaire then we got together for a chat. How interesting it was

 

She was totally honest with me and i thank her for that.

 

She has opened my eyes to the level of bitchiness that exists between two rooms, i did know about the bitching but only on a superficial level. I now know the depth of it, and im shocked

 

She explained how some staff spend too much time chatting and 'lounging around', i am so angry at the staff.

She also explained that some staff are not following nappy changing procedures, (not wiping the mat or washing hands between each change and sometimes not wearing gloves) ~ This is two staff in nursery, which is two staff too many. the staff wonder why illness is going round (had bout of sickness going round recently) if hygiene procedures aren't followed i am hardly surprised bugs are flying around. Im so shocked and again angry. There is simply absoloutly NO excuse for this.

 

Then staff in same room (one staff member, who happens to be room co-ordinator) tells a student today that "it doesn't matter what colour cloth you use, there are rules but we don't follow them anyway". MY GOD, firstly to tell a student this, and secondly, yes there are rules and YES we do follow them (or at least should be). How dare the room co-ordinator say this.

 

In same said room, a member of staff stuck up the (v's (two fingers) to a member of staff (behind their back) but in front of children. WHY!!!!

 

I have also realised today that i am too relaxed with staff, and although i like, and indeed feel a relaxed environment is good for the children i do not want to be too relaxed. i heard that a member of staff (who i happen to be friends with outside of work) has been bitching about me. Im angry and hurt by that, angry because of the bitching, but hurt because we are (or so i thought) friends.

I now relaise that boundaries between friendship and professionalism had been blurred and this person is not respecting me as her manager (and i wonder how much she actually respects me as a friend).

 

I also realise i had been in some parts (unknowingly) pulled into the way of thinking of a certain two key staff (both of whom insticate this bitching) and had been turned against my deouty and senior (i had been told so many negative things about them i started to believe what i heard rather than finding out the truth for myself). I truely feel i had been blinkered and a HUGE learning curve happened today for me, which is great for my own professional development.

 

There are some whole nursery issuses that need to be tackled, and some issues that need to be more directed at certain staff...

I am off tommorow and have my gateway review for EYP on friday, Management meeting monday, but by heck Tuesday all this is going to be dealt with some how....

 

such a bad day in a way, yet useful too.....

 

im just so shocked at certain staff tho, i feel disapointed in them, and feel like they really don't respect me if they are willing to carry out unprofessional practices.... god what a mess <<<sigh>>>> (where's the wine LOL)

 

Dawn

[belle06]

Hi dawn

sorry you have had a bad day if it makes you feel any better I have been in this position myself and it hurts to think that you respect your staff and trust them and this is how you repay them. I went down the disciplinary route with my staff and gave them verbal and written warnings depending on the seriousness f what they had done. I also had the allegations in writing did you get the staff member to sign a copy of her exit interview record? if needed this can be used for disciplinary procedures and covers your back. It may also be an idea to have a discreet chat with the student as you know what they are like this will now be discussed at college and with their tutors( Oh the trouble staff cause). Hope some of this may have helped and things will get better. Good luck

[Guest]

Dawn - you seemed to be so positive lately, and now this! What a can of worms. You obviously did your Exit Interview well, as the results will have a real impact on future practice.

 

I bet that you are feeling really really angry (amongst other things).

 

If I was you I would put a memo round saying that there is a staff meeting Tuesday after work, and that everyone must attend. I did this myself. I planned exactly what I was going to say, and I sat there and went mental for a good 30 minutes. I then went through what I expected it to be like from then on, and what would happen if it wasn't, e.g disciplinary etc. I felt so good after it, and it has had such an impact. Many of the staff were relieved that I had done it as they hated it the way it had been.

 

I can email you my minutes if you like.

[Guest Wolfie]

I think that probably lots of us have been in your situation in one way or another.....you're not alone! In one way, although I'm sure you would like to go in tomorrow and start dealing with the issues that have been brought up, it may be a good thing that you have a couple of days away - this will give you time to reflect and decide upon the best course of action. Tomorrow you may still be feeling too raw and hurt and this might lead to you doing or saying things you might later regret.

 

As for the friend/employer thing, I've been there too. Everyone wants to be liked and being a manager can be a very lonely job at times, but you mustn't let people walk all over you and you certainly can't let these members of staff jeopardise the high standards of care that you obviously want for your children. Take a step back this weekend and prioritise what you need to do in terms of dealing with the issues raised. The safety of the children is paramount so issues relating to that must come first.

 

In the meantime, drink that wine and wait for lots of other friendly support and advice which is surely winging its way to you!

Edited February 14, 2007 by Wolfie

[hali]

oh dawn how terrible....but at least you now know what is going on!!!!!!

 

I understand what you mean about the freind/employer thing it is very tricky!!!

 

Good luck in getting things sorted.

[Beau]

Dawn,

 

I think that to manage this situation effectively you need to separate out those areas that are linked with policies and procedures and those which are more personal. You also need to think in a more dispassionate way so that your emotions don't start to cloud your judgement. Start by dealing with those issues which affect health and safety and move on to lesser issues. Be very clear about what you are wanting to address and how you can train your staff to understand the importance of these issues. Unfortunately not everyone is as diligent or committed and you have to recognise this - however, there is no reason why everyone can't understand what 'best practise' is and why it is so important. Take this on as a way to develop your staff and don't look at it as a negative issue.

 

Regarding the friendship issue, I can really sympathise with you. My best friend a few years ago was the playgroup secretary and effectively embarked upon a character assassination of me. It shocked me to the core and to be honest it still affects me today. I thought I knew this person and could trust them but how wrong I was! Luckily I have moved on from that and have some super friends who I can trust implicitly but I am much more wary now.

 

Stay strong and remember that we are here if you need to talk.

[Guest]

Hear, Hear, Beau

 

Prioritise, de-emotionalise, and have clear points, actions and consequences.

 

Dawn, I hope it turns out as a positive turning point for you and the staff, good luck.

 

Peggy

[Beau]

That's a first! I waffled on and Peggy made a short and concise post!

[Guest]

Thanks everyone for all your advice.

 

I am off work today, about to head of to the seaside with three children in tow (2 four year olds and a two year old) ~ hmmm, some day off LOL.....

 

anyhow, just called into work to advise all staff that they will have to forgo their lunch tommorow as we are having a staff meeting (staff will get an hours time back for loosing their lunch) it was either lunch or 6 0 clock on a friday night, i know what most of them would prefer all staff now suitably intigued as to why i have called a staff meeting in such a hurry .

senior staff will not attend meeting as they will be needed to look after pre-school children who do not sleep ~ and i have discussed issues with them anyway.

 

i am going to deal with this tommorow as i am not having a crap weekend worrying over other people's bad practice.....

 

one staff member had a viewing booked (she is looking for houses) over her luncgh break tommorow, am i being unreaosnable in telling her to cancel it?, i basically gave her two options, cancel it, or we all stay at 6 (a few moans were heard!)

 

i feel like im being unreasonable and nasty, but i spend all last night worrying about this, it needs dealing with.

 

Dawn

[Susan]

I empathise entirely, Dawn, but am not sure how you would stand by insisting that a lunch time meeting is held especially when one of your staff has other arrangements. I hope that you do not mean that staff will have no time to eat/ drink as I think that could be potentially very difficult for you should anyone complain.

 

Good luck.

[Guest]

Dawn I can really empathise with you on this one. Staffing is I feel one of the hardest areas of management to get right. You trust them, you praise them, help them out, you act as step mum, they need your shoulder to cry on, you go out of your way to give them time when they need it, you spend ages trying to balance out thier hours, you respect them as professionals, etc, you think all has been going well, and like a bolt out of the blue, they kick you in the teeth.

 

My staff are mostly 24 and younger, with some of them acting a lot younger than that. They don't think before they open their mouths. Bitching, my god, too many hormonal women in a small space! Sparlks will fly from time to time.

 

I think you only gain people skills with experience, which you don't necessarily have at 18/19. And as one of my staff said to me yesturday, during a lunch time discussion in the staffroom about boyfriends and age gaps, "You're THAT OLD!!!". At least they added "You don't look it" 22 years in childcare and I'm still getting it wrong and learning something everyday about people skills. anyone else got ideas?

 

I feel one of my faults as a manager is I'm too damn 'soft'. I see the best in everyone, will do anything for anyone, and then get really emotional when they don't do the same. My husband is always saying, don't us em, tell em. But we are who we are.

 

OH SORRY EVERYONE FOR RANTING, needed to get a moan off my chest, else my husband will pay for it when he gets in!!! and also before I speak with the 'newish' member of staff tomorrow. She just informed me in front of the other staff and parents, that she thought I needed to share the hours out better, and give her more and when am I gonna give her a full-time position? amongst other comments I shall not rant on about. Think a bit of 'How do you think you are getting on here?', and 'What qualities and merits do you think a person needs to demonstrate before they may be offered a full-time position? What ever happened to earning something, not just expecting it given to you on a plate.

 

Good luck Dawn, you're not alone.

[Guest]

That's a first! I waffled on and Peggy made a short and concise post!

 

 

:wacko: well it was 03:18 hrs

 

and your advice said it all

 

Peggy

 

seashore, recognise every example of 'immature' attitudes ( though more from students than staff in my case)

 

Coincidently there was an article in Nursery World today about research suggesting that management skills and knowledge should be placed into training programmes earlier ( level 2 upwards), the rationalle being that all early years staff multi-task, even non-management staff, and would benefit from certain managerial skills in dealing with for example Parents.

 

I agree and also think it would help emplyees see the employers role more clearly. Just feel that future training needs/plans are leaning a bit too much towards too many chiefs and not enough indians syndrome.

 

Peggy

[Guest]

I empathise entirely, Dawn, but am not sure how you would stand by insisting that a lunch time meeting is held especially when one of your staff has other arrangements. I hope that you do not mean that staff will have no time to eat/ drink as I think that could be potentially very difficult for you should anyone complain.

 

Good luck.

 

 

Hi susan they are all now going to have thirty minutes lunch, prior to the meeting at one, it is possible to do this as some staff at the meeting are part time, thus don't need a lunch and there is enough cover for staff to take 30 mins each and still have time for a meeting.

 

Dawn