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Terrible Morning...


deejay
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uh I am so sorry but I need to rant we have had the moring from hell with this little boy causing the majority of disruption.

 

My head is aching and i feel so muzzy it is unbelievable.

 

The very second he walked through the door he started. we have all of the children sit down for 5 minutes while they come in and settle and are registered I said morning with a big smiley face and asked him to sit at his table and straight away he said no and from there is just deteriorated.

 

He has spent the morning screaming at the top of his voice if anyone comes near him. he grabbed anothers childs foot in the climbing frame and wouldn't let her go and she was just stuck holding on because he was pulling on her. He has been throwing toys at the children and breaking up our games

 

we sat everyone down for snack and he refused a colleague asked him 3 times and he just said no he was told he wouldn't be allowed snack and she tried sitting him on her lap and he hit her in the face

 

now as a setting we don't have a 'naughty chair' as we don't believe in in but after earlier discussions with mum she said she used a naughty chair at home and asked us to do it at pre-school and we will always support parents with thier requests so he was put on time out on his chair and he just screamed at the stop of his voice crying he wouldn't sit down and he wouldn't say sorry we had to take a teacher out of our group time to sit with him and keep him there and it was all just so terrible.

 

we got mum in as soon as she arrived and explained what has gone on we have said that the whole group has been disrupted by him this morning. We are awaiting a visit from SENCO they were due in on monday but we have had to close down for three days as our heating has gone wrong and a new system is being fitted. We have said that we will wait for senco but if it doesn't get better soon we will have to cut his days.

 

We gave him 5 this term in the hope that the routine and our rules would help with his behaviour but he has got worse and that is the scarey thing since he has been in more it has got worse.

 

we are just all at our wits end we have all gone home with a headache. The thing about it is we all feel a bit sorry for him because it isn't his fault but the disruption that he has caused throughout the morning has been immense. we just don't know what to do. I really hope that the SENCO are going to give us some help because if they won't we are going to be completely stuck I think. - the reason why I say this is because in the past they haven't been upt to much help really.

 

Oh at least we have an extra three days off to recover.

 

Sorry all rant over

 

Debs

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We have two children in our setting at the moment who have needed great deal of 1-1 support to participate in our routines but we are now experiencing some success.

 

In the first instance we accomodated their needs by having completely different expectations - it was evident from their level of need that they wouldn't be ready to take part in all our routines so we just didn't expect them to. This meant that at carpet time, for example, of they weren't ready to join us we left them to thier self-initiated activities (always in sight of the adults). Even at the tender age of 3 most of the children accept that some children have different needs and just because they are allowed to carry on playing I still expect everyone else to come and sit down.

 

Gradually we have built up the expectation of these chidlren to join in with our routines (focusing on one at a time so maybe snack-time first, then small group time, then whole group time).

We use photos of the particular activity to reinforce the request/routine and make sure those children have a 1-1 prompt before the activity change.

 

All our children get a 1 minute warning before they have to stop what they are doing for any adult-led activity and this also helps.

 

Would be interested to know if others adopt this approach of having completely different expectations for children with SEN - but makes sense to me and has always worked - all chidlren have eventually been incorporated into routines but at their own pace and without staff tearing their hair out and children becoming distressed (we have of course had lots of this as well).

 

It is so difficult as we always just want to do our best for these children without compromising the needs of the rest of the group.

 

If I can offer further support I am happy for you to PM me.

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Sometimes its very hard - we had a few hellish days last week when the winds were high - the children were bouncing off the wall - lost their hearing, their caring hands, quiet voices and I felt that for most of two sessions we were on crowd control. Its very difficult and sometimes whatever we do it just doesn't seem to work which then makes me feel inadequate and incapable - I think the worse thing for me is that it takes up so much time and effort and I can sometimes lose sight of the other children. However, its good to share it and I am sure there are many others in the same boat. I know how difficult it is to remain positive at times like this when children are continually challenging and I look forward to hearing everyone's comments on their strategies for dealing with this as I am sure we can all learn from each other. For me, its trying to put more time into gaining an understanding of what makes them tick, what they enjoy and gaining their trust and respect - shame this doesn't happen overnight. Don't forget that we are heading into a full moon next week and the children will be a little odd again!! Does anyone else thinnk the same with full moons?

All the best, having read this its obviously a very personal reflection on my life at the moment as both my boys are on exclusion!!

Roll on my retirement

Nikki

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Don't forget that we are heading into a full moon next week and the children will be a little odd again!! Does anyone else thinnk the same with full moons?

Nikki

 

yep, its well established that full moons affect human behaviour, after all the word lunatic comes from luna the Latin for moon. Arson, violent crime and serious accidents as well as psychiatric incidents all occur more at a full moon.

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I too have been through something similar, you are not alone honey! My child is making good progress after a year of 1:1 support and a very restricted curriculum, he couldn't cope with change or choices and so we made him his own CIP board to choose an activity from with 5 activities he enjoyed. As he got better we were able to open the curriculum further and he got less violent. Although I must admit whenever he hit a member of staff the head arranged for him to be sent home. He occasionally has lapses back but life is so much easier!

 

Liz x

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I do symphathise we have a child who has behaviour difficulties, poor hand/eye co-ordination, lack of concentration. Its very hard going its the other children i feel sorry for, he hits the other children for no reason, he walks around with certain toys in his hands which he won't let anybody else touch, the other day we had the marble run out, he gathered up all the marbles, i asked him if the other children could have one marble, he didn't acknoweldge i had spoke to him, i asked again turning him to face me, still nothing, he then dropped one marble on the table out of his hand and another child picked it up, he screamed and hit the other child, he grabbed hold of his arms hitting and kicking, i had to prise him off, the whole time he's struggling to get to the other child. He then hits the adult, we move the other child away from him, as soon as we let him go he runs straight for him and jumps on top of him, we had already returned the marble. This happens several times every morning he's in. I have tried everything, he is 4 years old and due to start school in sept. I have referred him to the behaviour support team, they came in and spent half an hour, never seen them again, that was 2 months ago, i'm now in the process of getting an Educational Psychologist, but there is so much paperwork.

We have tried many strategies, having a chair next to the adult taking circle time, making him feel important, holding props etc, visual stories with visual props, giving him a 5 minutes warning to tidy up, then 4, then 3 etc. pictoral cards. allowing him to hold his special toys when having snack.

not forcing him to sit down at circle time, letting him wander nut he goes round hitting the other children who are sitting.

I do hope things work out for you, just thought i would let you know that your not alone.

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