Inge Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Just need to get this written down and share so i will be able to feel better just a note to say we are sessional care 2 sessions a day with lunch club Yesterday lunch time end of Lunch club, 12.15 only 5 children attended, 3 were collected at correct time, one mum collected but stayed to discuss something with our degree student who is using her family as a model in an assignment, one child left. 12.25 parent leaves after discussionwith student. I see this parent out and look for prnt of child waiting. No sign, other staff member also checks when she gets register to call mum, (session starts for pm at 12.30) no answer to call, mobile diverted to voicemail,message left by now it is 12.28 and we are ready to for open, when we go to open parent was waiting with pm session parents. another staff member asked her if she would please collect in time as she was late today ,(not the first time) before she had finished her sentence the mum was shouting she was not late, she had been there since 12.15, and waiting to come in she came into the room and shouted at me trying to invade my space and getting 'in my face' for want of a better word. We explained two of us had checked at 12.25 other parent s had arrived and collected and aksed why she did not come in as she usually does to collect, she just shouted at me that i was calling her a liar and tried to get me to say she was lying. i just restated that we has not seen her and we were in breach of regulations as we had had her child in our care when we should have ben having a break with no children. she kept shouting at me and appeared very aggressive towards me trying to get me to see other parents to verify she had been waiting all this time. I was not willing to participate in discussion with her shouting so i just remained quiet and when given a chance just restated our case calmly, I do not participate in shouting matches or similar and am not an agressive person at all, so maybe this made her more angry. No visible reaction from me at all!! Threatened me that i had better treat her child no differntly because of this, poor child was sitting watch his mum shout and rant at me we could not remove him no where to go and i wanted all staff with me just in case. On her way out she accosted and shouted at parents urging them to agree with her that she had been ther since 12.15, and waiting ages for us to open the door(none of those parents had been there at tht time themselves) parents agreed just to get her away from them and were obviously unhappy at her behaviour. later I apologised to those parents and had to explain the situation which normaly would have stayed confidential but she had included them in her dispute herself. They volunteered she was not there when many arrived but they did not know when she did, all felt she had been agressive and some concerned about thier children seeing this, we got them into pre-school very fast that session! Follow on having written this allup, today she tired to get another member of staff not present to agree with her , having admitted to her she was late but that i was aggressive and abusive towards her, that i was like that and should go on a people skills training as i was so bad at it!! we advised her to go to committee to which she said they are friends and will back me up (sorry she really does not know them, all had several children through and known me for years!), she has said she complained to ofsetd about my attidude towards her. Just to cover myself all ahs been documented complaint log completed, which when she saw it insisted everything written down was a lie and fabrication.(all witnessed by aother staff member and a student on placement) rang ofsted - if she rang them they would inform her it was nothing to do with them, and she needs to deal with us, unless it is to do with the child they do not want to know, and would tell her so. Now we ait for her to try to cause probelms amoung the parents. In a way I am lucky in that more than 50% of them have had siblings through, often more than one so know me and the staff well. Now she is ranting about going on the committee to get this sorted. Only hope is she does not get nominated or seconded! She was late, no argument, today she admitted it WHAT IS THE PROBLEM. Apology for lenght of rant, I find writing it down does wonders thank you for listening Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Sometimes when people have an audience, eh !!!!! Unacceptable behaviour, hope you feel better for letting off steam, you dealt with the situation correctly and now you just need it to be finished with. May I suggest that the committee chairperson writes this parent a letter, stating that this sort of behaviour is not condoned by staff, committee or other parents, under the behaviour and code of conduct policies of the setting and say that any further comments/complaints on this particular situation, if any, should be communicated to them, and not you, with a copy of the complaints procedure. Tomorrow WILL BE A BETTER DAY. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 How horrible At our school if a parent behaves like that they can be banned from the premises. Whatever you do, remember it's NOT YOUR FAULT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 oh dear how horrible ...agree with peggey about the committee writing a letter...unfortunaltly for you she is obviously very ashamed she as late and is just letting off steam..no help to you i know...stick to your guns.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 You dealt with it well. I suspect she is making a fuss because she knows she is wrong. We have just been through a small spout of parents pushing the boundaries on lateness, despite the fact that they have signed our Terms and Conditions. I made a 'gentle' reminder in the newsletter, and also issued all parents with a fresh copy of the Late Collection policy. Funnily it's stopped!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Poor you Inge, thank goodness we have this forum to let off steam when we know we've done the right thing but other people's reactions make you feel you're going mad. Agree that letter should be sent by committee fully supporting you all , because of her unacceptable behaviour, any repeat she could be banned from picking up as stated in your parental agreement. She really did dig herself into a hole she couldn't back out of, she possibly did get worse because you did not react to her, her unacceptable behaviour became worse, perhaps that's how she usually gets her own way by notching it up a gear. The letter could also assure her that every child will be treated equally with respect and in the same caring and professional manner. Let us know how you get on. Chin up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 It sounds as if you have a very awkward parent, Inge. I think I would have asked her why she didn't knock loudly on the door if she was waiting all that time! She must have got out of bed on the wrong side... Hope you have a happier day tomorrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 Hope all went well today Inge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted October 11, 2006 Author Share Posted October 11, 2006 (edited) thanks for reading and support havepassed on relevant bits to committee who are considering next action. good day, child not in today so breathing space, committee have taken over and i will not deal with her but ask her to see other staff or committee. All staff agree. Sad thing is she really thinks she is right and has support, she is now 'bad mouthing ' about me to parents at school who are all getting upset at her behaviour having most had children through at some time...some have sent messages of support via parents with childrn here. One Thinks she has backed herself into a corner and is now unable to sort it out. Others thoughts are I am unknown quantity to her, I only see her once a week, and she feels all staff and parents are behind her, trying to get staff to agree and 'back stabbing ' when I am not there. Staff luckily all know me very well, worked together years. She really wanted a job with us just because she felt she should and as far as she is concerned I am the reason she cannt work with us! Committee are happy for me to back off, one is coming in to Lunch club tomorrow, putting her child in just so she can be there when she collects her son, a sort of barrier, this will be the first time she has been in when I am there, and it is only a hand over I do not work am. Luckily my mentor training for accreditation job has been moved to the other day I would see her so after half term will be next step. committee are beginning to think they should ask her to find alternative care as we obviously are not suitable for her needs. what everyone finds hard to believe is I was not the one who approached her, and only happened to be there at the time, with person who approached her she has been acting as if nothing happened. Inge Edited October 11, 2006 by Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 Obviously all staff/committee need to show a united front on this, the sooner a letter gets sent the better. Perhaps she picked on you because she does not see you very often, or is mistaken in her belief that you were behind her not getting the job. I think she has backed herself into a corner, is there anything that can be done to help her out of it? Like children really, they sometimes need to be shown a way out of the mess they've got themselves into. Very hard I'm sure under the circumstances, you wouldn't be blamed for wanting to show her a way out of the door! Hope she has calmed down by tomorrow. Let us know how you get on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 its so unfar when parents rant like that as you can't reply so you did really well to stay calm. someone mentioned a late collection policy, what do other settings have in theirs? we used to include a fine until some parents took that to be the additional charge if they required loonger childcare in the morning, so last time we redid policies, we left that one out but think we do need to do something Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 We charge £2 for every 10 mins late. Only ever had one parent grumble but they still paid. They all understand the reasons for needing to collect on time, whether this being at lunch time or at the end of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Our late collection policy only states that after a certain length of time social services will be contacted. I think that each case is individual when it comes to late collection that it is difficult to have a 'blanket' policy on charges etc. What I do find is that very often the child is forgotton as supervisor/ parent discusses reasons etc whilst the child waits even longer. We state in our policy how we will reassure a child, how we maintain supervision of a waiting child etc. It is difficult not to get embroiled in feelings of being taken for granted when parents are late, especially persistant late comers. I had a parent just 2 days ago was 20 minutes late, we were just about to follow our policy by contacting SS when she arrived nearly in tears, she had fallen asleep and was late waking up, having been up the previous night with a sick baby. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 Having had this happen we did change our policy for charging... we originally as a minimal charge and as said parents took this to mean they could come late and just pay... a few liberties were taken so the committee decided to make it a charge of £5.00 for every 15 mins and non collection policy kicks in after half hour! They are also asked to sign a form when they collect late which states what we did to contact them and time of collection etc. we do understand individual circumstances, have one mum who works night, so we have a deal to telephone at a set time to make sure she was awake!! And in the past had one who when pregnant with her next child kept forgetting to collect, she became so forgetful that if I did not call 15 mins before end of session she would not turn up. As soon as she had her daughter it went back to normal and she remembered!! By the way.. update on my angry parent... after Ofsted investigation, and subsequent letter saying there was no complaint to uphold... the parent eventually came and apologised for her behaviour!! But it did take 4 months!! Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Pleased to hear it's finally sorted and they realise they were wrong Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Good news about parent apology. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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