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Just When All Was Going Well


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ever had one of those feelings?


Organised the planning Long term and short term for Sept/Oct - great. :)

Had a very emotional end of term moment at Pre School where I said bye to a little girl with special needs who I had been supporting for 18 months - had a beautiful bouquet and gorgeous gift from her parents - ver special. :)

Finished on a high for the 6 week summer hols with lots of lovely comments from parents :)

Spent the weekend away in the Lakes for my birthday - perfect :)

Sun shining, pottering in the garden - relaxing :)

. . . when . . .

on the floor through the letter box was a hand written envelope addressed to me . thought it might be a belated birthday greeting . . no . . it was a letter from one of my staff who had been with Pre School for 7 years - saying on the Friday last day of term - she had been offered another job, and had accepted it.

We are a close staff group - and I felt really disappointed that she didn't feel she could tell me she wanted a change, or that she didn't tell me anything in the letter about the new job etc. and felt she had to write it down. xD

I have since found out from the local Primary school that she had asked them to consider her for the 1:1 job supporting the little girl with special needs who I had been supporting.- felt a double whammy!

Now am having to re organise all planning / roles and responsibilities and look for a member of staff for September :o

Just had to get it off my chest

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That's a nasty trick, she should of spoken to you, but maybe considering the circumstances with the little girl she knew you would feel hurt, still it is nice to be able to talk about these things instead of finding out via a letter, poor you :o


At least you have the time to recitfy things and get it straight in your mind, life is full of highs and lows isn't it, when it's good it's great and when it's bad it's sh*t!!


Try and enjoy your break, my children have just decided to make a band in the dining room with saucepans, spoons, a tennis racket (guitar) and the piano, my son is backing dancer and the stereo is blasting AC/DC!!!


Hope that brings a smile to your face, this is my peace!!

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That is harsh. It's a real shame that she didn't talk things through with you in person. I am sure that would have eased the blow for you.



Your children sound like a very talented bunch Shirel!! or maybe not?!?!?! Hve fun!

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Guest MaryEMac

That's a bit below the belt, isn't it? Such a pity she had to go behind your back and be secretive about it. At least you know now and not just before you go back so you've got time to adjust. Still you must feel so hurt. Try and enjoy the rest of the holiday. Best wishes Mary

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Oh dear myhenroxanne, Please don't feel that she didn't talk to you because you are unapproachable, I really think that her manner is because she knows how close you both are, and maybe she has struggled with this decision for a long time and knew if she told you 'to the face', so to speak, that maybe she would have changed her mind and not accepted the new job offer., (which deep down she knows she would regret)


Let her know you understand, keep communication open ( after time to heal your hurt). The positives of this will be that 1/ you know that the person working with the young girl you were reluctant to say goodbye to, knows her and her needs very well, and 2/ you can be updated on the little girls progress in the future.



Good luck in your replacement search, maybe he/she will be a welcome breath of fresh air into your setting. ( not suggesting at all that current staff are stale of course :o )


Relax and enjoy the rest of your holiday.



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Around this time last year I was tempted to leave the pre-school, for a ta job at my childrens school, but before I even asked for an application form I spoke to my boss to tell her what I was thinking of doing. I love my job and my boss is fantastic so needless to say I was in floods of tears before I'd even put pen to paper! I'm still at the pre-school, have absolutely no regrets and will aways support my boss 110% as I know she would support me. Some people say they don't like confrontation but something like that to me is simply bad manners, something that I will never understand.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the holidays and find the type of staff you deserve :D


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Aww thanks everyone for your support - have just spent the morning redrafting the planning, and managed to meet up with 2 other staff (we share the Supervisors role) who have been really supportive, and who also received letters through their doors. Our other staff have been really helpful and some have increased their hours for September - all staff very surprised when we informed them of Mrs S.'s decision.

Trying to see the best in why people do things is quite difficult at times, we couldn't understand why this member of staff - (Mrs S.) is leaving us to do 1:1 support, when part of her job with us at Pre School is 1:1 support - so not only do we have to find another staff member to cover 'normal' working hours we have to advertise for an additional 1:1 support worker. We all feel terribly let down, and now find myself in the position of having to write to parents of our other special needs child to explain that Mrs S. is no longer supporting her child, and we are having to employ someone else - this is not going to be easy due to holidays etc.

We also had an end of term informal 'bring and share' staff lunch after the last session on Friday. All the staff were ready for the off, but Mrs S. said that she couldn't make it, as she had a faulty car which needed some parts - left us 2 quiches, and we wished her a happy holiday and said we'll be sad not to be able to relax over lunch together - Mrs S. said she was sorry too, but the car was a priority - we have since heard that she was in the new school preparing for the new job. Cannot understand why she wasn't open - all our staff (hopefully) know that if they wish for a career change they will be supported, and will not be thought any less of.

Trying to enjoy the rest of the day - but keep thinking of other little things that will now need changing - eg Information to parents on the notice board and Welcome Packs re: change of staff, change of Child Protection Co-ordinator (was Mrs S.), informing the committee - as far as I'm aware they don't know yet . . the list goes on . . what we can't understand is that Mrs S. sat with us through all the planning meetings and staff deployment meetings during the final 2 weeks at Pre School, let us carry on, knowing all the time she wouldn't be there?!


Sorry to keep going on - just know that you've all got great listening ears and feel the need to tell someone.

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I've been running my group now for 10 years and the staff never fail to amaze me how they go about either leaving or telling me they are looking other jobs. I once had a Leader who sat with 5 of us doing the planning for the next half term it was the week before we closed for Easter so we were going to be shut for 2 weeks. we sat for 2hours finished it all, and decided to have a glass of wine to celebrate finishing it like you do :D:o and this leader then told us all yes I'm glad we've finished the planing its a shame I won't be there with you!" We all looked at one another and asked her why and she said "oh cos I've got another job to start after Easter!" and that was her handing in her notice. I've had text messages saying can't come back cos I'm to tired and the works to heavy!

People never fail to amaze me. I always say to people that you have to do what is best for your own circumstances, but there are ways !!!!!!

Still as some one else said things always happen for a reason Look to the bright side she probably wouldn't have stayed long if she was looking for something else. so start a new for the next year.

Good luck


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I think over the years we might all have been in this position (I have) - not that it makes it any easier - but it means we do understand, and understand how we trust people and then that trust is broken. It isn't easy to come to terms with it and it is hurtful, but it appears to be one of life's lessons we have to go through.


However, you must try not to take it too personally, and actually you can see that there is a compliment in this for you and it is that she obviously had a lot of respect for you - she feels she needs to move on, but dreaded telling you. She knows she is leaving a close knit team, maybe she doesn't even really want to, but she needs to move on for her own personal reasons/development. If you feel you can, then encourage her to move on, and congratulate yourself a little that you helped her on her way.


Good luck - you have good managerial skills and you'll be fine! :o You might not be thinking that right now, but things do have a habit of sorting themselves out and the rest of your team is pulling together to support you.


All the best xD

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