Guest Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Hi all Just after a bit of advice. I recently bought my first house. I have know been living here for 2 months and it is an end terrace. I have just had a bbq to thank all of my family for all of the help they have given me moving in and decorating etc.. On the fence which i share with my neighbour i have a clematis (sorry spelling!) growing which is rooted in my garden. Last weekend i trimmed all the top as lots of shoots were appearing and it was looking untidy. However as we were sat enjoying our food my neighbour started chopping with her shears at the bush. Bits of the clematis bush were flying into my garden onto peoples heads, in their food and in their drinks. My neighbour seemed to be making some sort of point by doing this. She was huffing and puffing and making other angry noises. She then began pushing bit of bush back through my fence. I am presuming that the bush has started to grow over her side of the fence and she does not want it. I completely understand this and will happily go and trim it if thats wht she wants. My family all thought it was highly amusing i on the other hand was mortified and thought it was very rude of her to do it whilst i was having a bbq. What do you think i should do - go round and offer to cut the bush back her side or just leave it. I hate confrontations and don't want to cause problems between myself and my new neighbours! Quote
Guest Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Sorry meant to post this in lounge/golden time does anyone know how to move it?? Quote
Guest Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Well if it was me I would go round and say ' i noticed you trimming my plants the other day and you didn't seem too happy would you like me to trim them' and the apologise if your 'plants' upset her. That way youare not being rude or confrontational but she will realise that you heard her being petty. She only had to ask! Quote
Guest Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 I would go round and have a chat to her about it. offering to cut it back and saying its not a problem. Although how rude and childish to do what she did in the middle of your BBQ I think if you can, it pays to be on friendly terms with neighbours, although not always possible Quote
hali Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 sorry i would just find some leaves and throw them over her garden huffing and puffing (sorry had a glass of vino so proberbly not good adive) go on what Rapunzul and Rosina say.... Quote
Guest Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 I would much rather act on your suggestion Hali - the more and sit and think bout it the more worked up i am getting. (god i really should have better things to worry about!!) However i am far to much of a wuss and will probably do as rosina and rapunzel have suggested. However if i follow your lead and have a couple glasses of vino who knows!!!! Quote
Susan Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Lola, I can only sympathise having moved from a huse with lovely neighbours to one where the neighbours left lots to be desired but some 13 years on we are still there, although Id have preferred to have had a better relationship even now! I'd probably do nothing at all as I also hate confrontation, with or without hali's glass of vino, but that wouldnt stop me caring about what had happened. I will move this into the lounge proper although actually the gardeners corner seems quite apt! Dont let this spoil your pleasure in your new home. Quote
Guest Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Thank you Susan. This is my first home so not quite up on the neihbourly politics. Think i might take your advice i would hate to upset the aple cart this early on! Quote
Rea Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Joan the moan, thats the name for our neighbour, given to her by the children years ago. Been here 16 years and have put up with her complaints about children playing outside the house to water leaking from the toilet overflow while I was on holiday. She power washes her drive leaving our vehicles covered in dirt but cant have water go into her garden. I ignore her and her snotty friend who looks like she's sucked a lemon. Do what Rosina suggets, my dad recently did something similar with his neighbour and she's turned out to be fairly nice, not a bosom buddy but they are able to say hello. Quote
Guest Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Hi Lola However much you might want to tell them where to go the best idea is to show that you are better than them and ask very politely if they would like you to trim any plants that have grown over to their side. I've always found that the ruder the neighbour I become oh so polite!!!!! Gets their goat even more Always think that you are educated and know how to act even if they can't. It actually works the same as when your with the children. Set a good example your better than them. good luck Ive had some real awful neighbours and at last have a good one so you get your reward in the end Steph Quote
Guest Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 On a lighter note ( I think ) We have one of those plants in our garden, they are great for fences because they grow very fast and have lovely blooms, unfortunately my hubby keeps calling it the cli_or-s plant ( I'll leave you to fill the gaps, a very sensitive female organ ( Where's the blushing smiley ). He tells friends and family very loudly that he is going to grow a cli_or-s plant up the down pipe, because its blooms spread over a large area very quickly and doesn't need too much care and attention . Peggy Quote
Guest Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Oh Peggy That has made me laugh. My parents live on a road called Clematis Avenue. You would be amazed at the number of letters people in the avenue receive addressed with the same name as your hubby calls the plant!!!! Quote
bubblejack Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Peggy that is so funny. I am a serious, obsessive gardener and I love clematis but now I will look at them in a different light. Quote
Guest Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Best not be confrontational you have to be truthful about your relationships with neighbours when selling your property. Quote
Guest tinkerbell Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 Perhaps she was cross that you didnt invite her to your bbq? We have neighbours whose windows overlook our yard where we have just started having bbqs (a gas one).Hubby would give them a ring to politely tell them we were lighting the bbq if they had washing out etc.Anyway theyslam the windows everytime we do so I just think they are jealous. They are very sour faced and I make it my job to get a smile out of them everytime I see them as Steph says rise above them. Tinkerbellx Quote
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