Taking Children Home

[Guest]

A little while back, I was at work and one of my colleagues came back into the room after speaking with a parent who was dropping her child off for the day.

 

I thought it was a bit strange as talking to parents was something that was rarely done at my last place .

 

However, she started really fussing over this particular child, to the detriment, I though of a couple of other children trying to gain her attention.

 

She then announces that the child has come to nursery with an overnight bag and is going to stay at HER house overnight !!

 

I was totally horrified! Never in all my time in working with children, has something like that happened. I went to my manager and asked her if she knew about it. I don't care that the rest of my colleagues thought I was a 'grass'. I was told by my manager that what happened out of nursery hours was out of her control and as long as the parent was happy, what was I getting in a state about?

 

Surely there's rules about this sort of thing? What made it worse, was that another colleague was driving them both home in her car, WITHOUT the permission of the parent. That opens up all sorts of issues such as insurance etc.

 

Have been thinking about this for some time now and it still horrifies me! I know I don't work there anymore (thank goodness!) but was wondering what others thought about it. Was I being a bit hasty in going and speaking to my manager or was it the right thing to do?

 

Consequently, the driving colleague did ask mum to sign a piece of paper, giving her permission for her child to be driven in a private car, but only after I made such a fuss about it!

 

I think that perhaps was my downfall..... ! Never mind, the new job is going great!!!

 

Loopy

[Alison]

no I dont think you where hasty in talking to your manager and I think alarm bells should of been ringing in other colleagues heads as well.

 

there are so many potential problems and risks of getting involved with families outside of settings and several times I have been approached by parents to baby sit etc but I have always said its against policy

 

however I can understand the parent choosing a member of staff to help care for their child and if maybe there is no reliable family network for that parent to call on then who else would they ask that they can trust?

 

On a legal point if that child is no relation to that member of staff and they are taking a child home with them unless they are a registered childminder or caring for the child in their own home then they are technically breaking the law!

 

you spoke to your manager which was correct and you no longer work there so it is not your responcibility any more. But its obviously still worrying you - you can notify ofsted as an annonimous complaint if you want to put your mind at rest

[Guest]

This used to happen alot in the day care centre where I worked. Most of the staff also babysat for the parents on a regular basis. I think that it can be a lifeline for some parents, and they make good friends with the staff that are caring for their children, but personally I would'nt do it. I just think that it is too risky. I think that in a society such as ours, where there are so many people who will sue over anything, its just too risky - I drove a brother of a child in my group home once from school, and I really regretted it. num 1 it suddenly dawned on me that I only had 3rd party fire and theft cover, and I wasnt insured to use the car for work, so if I crashed and the family wanted to claim I would have been in big trouble. Another thing was that the child in question looked quite uncomfortable in the car because he didnt really know me, which was awkward as well.

 

Ive also found that when staff get quite involved with families there is a tendency to gossip about things going on in work and about other children which can make things very awkward.

 

Anyway, its just a personal preference, but I just wouldnt do it. I've never tried to stop any staff from doing it, but I have always just advised them of the situation that they were putting themselves in so that they were fully aware of what could potentially happen.

G.

[catma]

some car insurance does cover you for driving children if that is possibly something you may have to do as part of your job (mine does) - so for instance you had to take a child home or to social services (in my experience they always got us to take the abandoned child to them rather than the other way round. We would always have 2 members of staff though doing this in unusual circumstances.

[Guest]

Hi Alison,

 

It isn't bothering me particularly now, although it did at the time! I was just interested really to hear what others throught or had to say. I've often come across the babysitting thing, and whilst I don't agree with that either, I think it is better than taking children and caring for them overnight. I think it was also the car thing that was worrying me slightly, because these two 'professionals' simply assumed it would be ok to take this child in a car without parental permission. That's aside from the insurance requirements etc, just the fact that they didn't even recognise the need to speak to the child's mother about it.

[Running Bunny]

I used to babysit when I worked at a nursery in London. We were only allowed to babysit our key children and the arrangement worked really well with parents that may have got held up due to trains or meetings running over. We knew alarm codes for houses (!) took the children home, fed them, bathed them and put them to bed and the parents couldn't have appreciated it more. It was welcome extra pocket money £20-£30 cash in hand for a night's work plus a taxi fare home and it was a lifeline for me as a student and almost full time nursery assistant.

 

HOWEVER, looking back, I can see why there would be concerns over this and I don't feel that I would want to do it now, being a bit older and wiser as to what I could have opened myself up to and times have changed in the last 8-10 years since I did this (god, I'm sounding old!!!)

 

I totally do not agree with the overnight thing although, as someone who does not have any family within close proximity, I guess that the member of staff and the mum had their reasons??

 

RB

x

[Guest]

Possibly Running Bunny, but I still don't think that that makes it right. Maybe I'm being a bit hard on them both? It's like you say, the difference now to a few years ago means that we are open to all sorts of allegations and issues which could lead to trouble for all concerned. Still, I suppose if the parent was happy about it, tha's really down to her.

 

it's been interesting reading others' views on the subject though!

 

Clare

[Beau]

Clare,

 

I think the important thing here is that it was a private arrangement between the mother and the member of staff and nothing to do with work. I certainly would not be happy if my workplace started to dictate to me what I could and could not do in my own time. Providing the member of staff had made it clear that this was a private arrangement and the mother understood this then I think that's where the concerns of the workplace would finish.

 

There are also no laws about travelling in a car with a child regarding insurance if it is not something you are doing as part of your work. Again, providing the mother understood that this was not an extension of the childcare at your setting, then there would not be a problem. I certainly don't get written permission every time one of my children's friends travels in the car with me.

[Guest]

I work for a copany called Sitters who has all qualified childcare workers on their books. we are paid direct from the client and get to know the families quite well, but I wouldn't babysit for any of my families. Its all abit to close to home. I have had mothers ask if my staff could babysit for them and I tell them its up to each individual staff member. I don't take responsibility for recommending anyone. What they do in their own time is up to them but they are warned on the confidentiality clause, if they do work for parents outside of work hours. Its a fine line to tread between becoming to friendly and still staying on good terms.

[Guest]

Hi Beau.

 

I didn't think of it like that . Got a bit carried away maybe?! I do agree though, it was a private arrangement and if mum was happy, then maybe I was a bit hasty in getting so annoyed about it!

 

Clare

[Alison]

clare you werent the only one I must admit I am very causious about getting involved with families outside of the setting

 

I was alarmed because the child was going home with the member of staff without the parent notifying the setting of the arrangement, privete or other wise any member of staff can say "child A is coming home with me tonight!"

 

but I do agree that if staff and parents want to arrange babysitting services outside of the setting that is up to them and in this day and age nursery staff are possibly the only people many parents will trust

as long as staff and parents can maintain a good working relationship

 

I still would not feel happy knowing a child was going to a member of staffs home to stop over night I feel that what ever baby siting arrangements are made then they should be in the childs home not the member of staff's home, its harder to keep a professional distance once the bounderies of home and work have been blurred.

[bubblejack]

As others have already said I think each case is different and at the end of the day I wou;ldn't feel responsible if staff had private arrangements with families. I know that it could be a life-line to many parents. When childminding parents would prefer their child to come home with me than choose some-one on the list that they didn't know. I can re=call a case when the single parent of two of my minded children became seriously ill and I looked after them into the night untill the grandparent came. It seemed better than calling social services.

I have had grandchildren attending the group and I encouraged them to bring a few friends home to play.

If I trust staff to help me look after children in my group I wouldn't question their integeraty outside the group.

[Alison]

here I am saying I dont think children should go home with staff blah blah blah and...

 

bubblejack you have reminded me... Ive done it myself, taken children home! how could I forget something like that???? it wasnt a one off it was regular? (Im feeling rather old and confused now )

 

Im remembering when my daughter was young and for two years while my daughter was at preschool and I was the manager I used to take her and a friend home with me so that I could take them both to nursery in the afternoon, and then pick them both up at the end of school.... (in my defence it was a long time ago and I have been to bed since then!)

 

what am I like? (hypocrite springs to mind) sorry everyone!!!! each to their own arrangements I was too hasty in judging without thinking

 

although, I do now work for a national charitable organisation part time they have very strict child protection rules and it is against their policy for staff to take children home or do baby sitting .... hence my initial "NO!" reaction.