Guest Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 One of our nursery children told a member of staff all about the film he watched with his dad the other night - we think Robocop (Cert 18). He think he's trying to make sense in his head of what he's seen and certainly his roleplay and general play this week are out of character. What approach do you take with children as I'm sure this little boy is not on his own in seeing films he shouldn't. I'm comfortable having a quiet word with Mum and am aware that every parent has the right to bring up their child as they wish, but surely there is a fine line between this approach and making a child 'vulnerable' emotionally..... Whilst I am going to have a gentle word with the parent I would really like to put something in our next newsletter, probably using a pro-active, positive angle about supporting parents in choosing appropriate viewing together, talking through issues in things they have watched together etc and then support it with some good scientific/child development type quotes from literature - something they would relate to e.g. Prof. Winston, Penelope Leach 'ish'... Can you point me in the right direction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 We had this last year with a 3 year old telling us she had seen Dawn of The Dead, Scream and The Ring amongst others. She knew all the plots too so it wasn't that she just knew the names! In her case she wasn't too affected but we did wonder what to do. In the end we left it as we felt the mum in this case would tell us to mind our own... I think the newsletter idea is good. You could fib a bit and put 'following requests from parents .....' it may be that (as in our case) the child has older siblings who let him watch things too. Often parents don't notice the rating do they? We've all seen films where we wonder why they are a 12 or whatever so maybe they thought that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 We had this last year with a 3 year old telling us she had seen Dawn of The Dead, Scream and The Ring amongst others. She knew all the plots too so it wasn't that she just knew the names! In her case she wasn't too affected but we did wonder what to do. In the end we left it as we felt the mum in this case would tell us to mind our own... I think the newsletter idea is good. You could fib a bit and put 'following requests from parents .....' it may be that (as in our case) the child has older siblings who let him watch things too. Often parents don't notice the rating do they? We've all seen films where we wonder why they are a 12 or whatever so maybe they thought that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 Will see if I have anything for you, a parent of ours who is a TV/ video repair person ( being very PC you notice ) told us that in about 80% of homes he goes into PORN is on the shelf mixed up with children's videos. I am sure that you can also add adult video games to the list of unsuitable materials. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 Just have to ask - what is your tv/whatever/person doing reviewing the household's collection????? We have so much, its all in a trunk, awaiting sorting, we dive in when we feel the need!! Usually music Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 pmp... I read that as you have so much porn...!!! ... you dive in when you need it eh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 Well, read it as you like, but will say, I suspect none of you have heard of a lot of the really good music we've got!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 We had a child who was always telling us about films we thought he shouldnt have been watching. Scream, Freddy Cruger (a favourite of his) amongst others. We tried talking about Disney films but he only ever wanted to focus on the baddies, the sharks in Shark Tale, the horrible boy in Toy Story. He would draw things from the films with loads of blood and would make stabbing motions when he described a scene and talk non stop about them. I spoke to mom on more than one occasion who said he only looked at the covers, but we were sure it was more than that. She eventually said he was watching them with his older brother who was only 3 years older! I have since spoken to the TA at the school and they are still having the same concerns. He doesnt interact with the other children at all and talks constantly about the films. Not much help to you I know but be prepared for mom to fob you off. This mom certainly has no control over what her children watch or appears bothered. Hope your mom is better at taking advice. We and the school have tried without sucess to date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 I have a feeling that the under child protection law young children viewing 18 films which include violence/sex may constitute abuse....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Thanks Nicmax. We were wondering that too but weren't too sure. What does anyone else think? Keep posting and maybe we can all pull together a suitable piece of blurb for everyone's newsletters! That would be great!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 I think there are good grounds for arguing it's child abuse in some cases. making children view certain images is, so I guess some films would not be much different. I guess you'd have to document what the child had disclosed as usual etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gezabel Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Hi Personally I agree with the 'constitutes abuse' line of thought but having said that I think 'abuse' is a strong, emotive word that needs to used with caution if that makes sense. The adage 'in an ideal world' springs to mind where all parents would have 'good' parenting skills which would include monitoring what types of programmes their children watch. I think it is a tricky situation to tackle with parents and one that needs to be done with utmost sensitivity and I would certainly not use 'abuse' in conversation or letters. More along the lines (initially anyway!) of general information about suitable/unsuitable TV viewing. I feel (though maybe wrongly!) that the number of parents who encourage or actively 'let' children watch violent films etc are in the minority. I think there are an awful lot of very young children who for a variety of reasons do see such inappropriate material. Lack of bedtime routine, where young children are downstairs at all hours until they fall asleep where parents/siblings are watching such things and simply don't realise the little ones are 'taking in' what's on screen is one scenario. Young babysitters or older siblings who simply don't think about the implications of watching such material with little ones around is another. Sadly, there are also some parents who don't mind what their children do/don't watch so long as they are quiet To constitute 'abuse' doesn't their have to be some 'intent' on the person allowing the child to watch and in alot of cases I think parents would be horrified at such a suggestion and it is more a case of lack of thought, understanding on the adults part. Sorry probably not alot of help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 I agree with you Geraldine, Although both violent and porn films are for 18+, to allow watching porn is morally seen as more abusive than allowing access to violent films. ( I think both are as bad as each other). LJW, Good idea about newsletter. Many moons ago I did an assignment on the effects of media on childrens development,( mainly focusing on advertising, especially at xmas) it's lost in my attic, but I do recall finding a lot of information and quotes on the subject, including film. maybe a google search of "effects of media on young childrens development" might bring up some useful quotes. Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 I agree, but sometimes I don't think that parents think that children understand what is on the television or video. I remember we had a little boy who used to sit with his dad and have a cuddle while the news was on. It was while the Iraq war was all over the tele vision. We noticed that being in an area that has alot of soldiers that alot of the children (boys) were alll more agressive in their play. So one day I ask if any body had been watching the television and what had they been watching and this one little boy got all excited and said that he was watching all about the war and the weapons of mass destruction. I thought that he probably knew the words but did not understand them, but no he explained to me perfectly that it was big bombs that killed lots of people. I had a quiet word with mum and put a note in the newsletter reminding parents that even though the programs on the tele seem to go over their heads some children do take it in but don't know how to rationalise it properly, and that maybe some things children shouldn't need to worry about! I had alot of parents especially the mums saying thank you coz they had showed it to their husbands who had n't relaised that their children were watching and listening to things. sometime parents just aren't aware!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 We have a little boy who is now 4yrs but his favourite films were the Matrix films. He used to re-enact them by running and jumping and try to fly through the air. Unfortunately he is quite a portly child and would cause quite a bit of harm to others and himself. Because of another injured child we had to talk to mum about it and found out that Dad had let him watch them whilst she was out on a regular basis. She was very apologetic. We just sat the boy down with others and talked about films and why we don't copy them. He soon stopped so no long term effects. I myself am a bit of a spoilsport when it comes to films. I was mortified when my 12/13yr old daughter told me that she had seen the Little Britain dvd. I myself think it is hilarious but am unable to watch Dafyd and Myfanwy in the same light without thinking that my little girl has seen this. My friend is very leanient when it comes to 15/18+ films. Her 4,7,12yrs olds all sat together watching American Pie together. Her children are not scarred by them just unfortunately a little bit more wordly wise. These films just stop the innocence in children a bit earlier than it should. Net x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 I read a really good book recently called "Images of Violence" by Sally Featherstone and it talks about children acting out things they have seen on TV and how to support them, I found it really interesting. Tracey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Thanks, I'll try to get that book for our parent's bookshelf. Peggy, I had a quick look on google as you suggested and found this site: http://kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=K...ticle_set=21720 which was helpful. Particularly like the bit called 'teaching your child good tv habits' which could be adapted for a newsletter, putting the whole subject into a pro-active kind of context.... More posts please, this is really interesting! Thank you everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 I remember being little and creeping downstairs while mom and dad were in the living room and watching the tele through the glass door to the lounge. It was frosted glass so I couldnt see much but I dont suppose I am the only naughty girl, and other children may well be watching things they shouldnt without their parents being aware they are there. I even used to take my pillow to lean against the wall on. My lads have been allowed to watch films above their age but only certain types, violent scenes to a point, but no sex, particulary if its violent or 'not the norm' (not sure how else to put that, so apologies to all swingers ) I have sometimes wondered what a rating was given for, Spiderman was a classic example of the rating being above the age range of children interested in it and the censors had to bring in a new 12A rating. Not sure where I'm going with this. I know young children shouldnt watch inappropriate films but some families have ways not suitable to all. One family I remember at playgroup could, to an outsider have appeared abusive, but I knew the family and some of their relatives and so did my dad, they were an extremely loving, well balanced family who loved rough play, mom, dad, brothers, sisters, cousins etc resulting in them being covered in bruises. The youngest who came to playgroup would often say 'have you seen this, I fell off the settee/chair/stairs/hit the wall... I think we should be worried by things we hear and see but shouldnt forget that what constitutes abuse in one family may not be abuse in another. Culture has a big impact on this and something which we as a society should get together to sort out. I would never have a babies ears pierced, but as there is no legislation against it some parents go ahead with it. Well, I did say I didnt know where I was going with this, now maybe you'll see why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 I've just re-read that. What can I say? I'm a Libran, I need to see both sides of something. I love balance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Rea, I see where your coming from and I think we are all the better for a bit of balance in our lives. Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Thanks, I'll try to get that book for our parent's bookshelf. Peggy, I had a quick look on google as you suggested and found this site:http://kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=K...ticle_set=21720 which was helpful. Particularly like the bit called 'teaching your child good tv habits' which could be adapted for a newsletter, putting the whole subject into a pro-active kind of context.... More posts please, this is really interesting! Thank you everyone. 43590[/snapback] Thanks, I've saved it for a future newsletter. At the moment parents will be able to really see the effect of the media through "I want" demands from their children each time a commercial is on with christmas toy ideas. If you look and listen closely they are very gender biased, not just in the products but with the type of music that accompanies the advert, the colours used, the actors gender, the pace ( girl products are very quiet, airy fairy, slow music, boys are very loud, aggresive fast musical background) etc etc, Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Peggy I thought exactly the same while watching an advert for Argos. I have a book which is very interesting all about adverts to children and how toys are packaged. Cant remember the author but the book is called 'playing them false'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Yep, I remember reading extracts of that book when studying my ADCE. you've bought back memories there. peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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