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We have a little boy at playgroup and he has terrible tantrums whenever he is asked to do something, told no, or if he can't get his own way. I know this is normal of a lot of 3 year olds.

But he has recently started becoming really violent to children, staff and his mum. He gets rellly cross with whoever has upset him.


We asked our area senco for advice and she suggested (with mums permission) that we use a thinking chair. This worked well for a while but now he says "i'm scared" and throws himself on the floor and headbangs the floor/wall.


Mum is a single parent and is really struggling with him. We have referred him for behaviour management through the children's centre.


We have also introduced a visual timetable and we also use a sand timer to give him warning of snack time, nappy changing etc.


One thing that we don't feel helps is mum buys him a present everyday regardless of whether or not he has been good with us. It's not always a small present either! it was a new bike one day!


We are really concerned at how angry he gets and other children seem to avoid him.


Has anyone got any ideas we could try for the new term?

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Hi, I work in a Children Centre and I imagine they will suggest a Family Support Worker who can visit him at home doing some short feelings awareness activities. They could then visit him at the setting and liase with all those concerned building up a strategy for all to use. If the child become aware of his feelings, everyone accepts his feelings, he can then move forwards being able to speak about how he is feeling resulting in him then being able to make decisions of what best action to take / behaviour to display and what his options are. Perhaps he doesnt know what he can do when he is feeling frustrated, he has only learnt that being agressive works for him. Once he is shown some other ways of dealing with his feelings he will be happier. Does this make sense?

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