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Challenging Behaviour


Melba
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At our OOSC we have a boy of 8 who is showing increasingly difficult behaviour. He is constantly disrupting the other children (throwing balls at them and breaking up their games) so obviously they don't want anything to do with him. We do say the usual things about everybody being welcome but it is wearing a bit thin. I'm afraid. Now he has started calling staff names and blaming them for all his problems.

His parents have just split up and this has made the situation worse (although mum denies it and says he has always been awful!!) Mum usually comes in on her phone and never moves it from her ear while she collects him.

The teachers don't seem to have particular concerns in school although he does not have many friends there either.

Does anyone have any suggestions of strategies for an older child who is obviously in distress but rejects any gentle approaches to discuss what is upsetting him so much?

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Do we work in the same setting? We have tried all the normal strategies! We are trying more discussion based at the moment! That everyone is different, have different interests, different views etc etc etc! Respecting each other, thinking about feelings, following other people's interests so that they can broaden experiences! Our boy is only new in the setting! Interested to no what you have tried!

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Really just the same talking that just doesn't seem to achieve any real improvement. The lack of support from the parents is a huge problem but not likely to change as far as we have seen so far. At the preschool a child like him would need 1:1 support but that is much harder to give at OOSC.

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Life certainly seems to be getting busier for us all! Could you arrange a meeting with ur childs parents to discuss concerns! Are his interests being met! That's another one of our problems our child has one interest and none of the other children share this! In fact they would do anything not to have to do it!

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Could you try and get him to help you....lay out games or organise stuff....try and make him feel valued and needed. Maybe if he was busy doing something constructive then he would be less disruptive and then the others might be less wary of him and willing to give him a chance.

 

Also as said find out what his interests are and try and plan for them a bit.

 

If he is ok in school do you think that by the end of the day when he gets to you he just needs to let of steam? Not helpful but just wondering?

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  • 5 months later...

Sox I empathise with you, I have exactly the same problem! I have a 6 year old boy who is very disruptive in our setting. His parents are aware (although also separated) He has a major anger problem and has BIG issues with not winning games, if he loses at anything he has a tantrum, unfortunately the other children are very aware of this and often deliberately 'push all his buttons' to get a response. I find this by hard to deal with as 'deep down' he is a lovely child :-( I find removing him from the setting into another room with an adult helps to calm him down but feel that it doesn't really help the situation in the long run. I have found sticker charts with a reward at the end of the week helped, but long term it's not a real solution. I'm stumped really as to how to deal with him and just feel we have to ride the storm each day until maybe he grows out of it?

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Have you watched what is happening just before he disrupts the other children's games? Does he want to join in but is unable to approach them in a more appropriate manner? Could you model for him how he can ask to join in?

 

Is he just tired and irritable because it is the end of the school day and would benefit from being directed towards a calmer solitary activity? Do you have an area where children can crash out for a while and recharge their batteries before joining back in with the play?

 

At eight years old he may not understand himself why he is angry or unhappy so asking him could well be making things worse for him. Could you ask him to help a member of staff to make something routinely when he arrives so that he has a structure to the transition time and an opportunity to talk while working on something shoulder to shoulder rather than being asked questions face to face?

 

Do you offer him a drink and a snack as soon as he arrives? If he hasn't eaten much lunch for some reason he could be hungry.

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