Just Found This...

[hali]

Spell Checker

 

I halve a spelling checker,

It came with my pea see.

It plainly marks four my revue

Mistakes I dew knot sea.

 

Eye strike a key and type a word

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am wrong oar write

It shows me strait aweigh.

 

As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the era rite

Its rarely ever wrong.

 

I've scent this massage threw it,

And I'm shore your pleased too no

Its letter prefect in every weigh;

My checker tolled me sew.

 

:wacko:

[Guest]

priceless - looks like something I write on a daily basis LOL

 

Where on earth did you find it -

[Gezabel]

I have seen it before but it is brilliant and love it every time

Did a search and found this one which is another favourite

 

 

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to

present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

 

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in

pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in

France.

 

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

 

Quicksand works slowly

boxing rings are square

a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

 

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't

groce and hammers don't ham?

 

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

 

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

 

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,

what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

 

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

 

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

 

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a

wise guy are opposites?

 

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house

can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it

out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

 

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the

creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That

is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are

out, they are invisible

[Inge]

and my favourite..

 

The Phaomnneil Pweor

of the Hmuan Mnid

 

 

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is that the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the human mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

 

Pterty amzanig, huh?

[Guest]

I love these! Going to have to copy and print!!!!

 

Last term I asked parents to remember their children's wellies and make sure they were labelled. It wasn't until I was approached by a very tongue in cheek parent asking me if I had any WILLIE labels that I realised WORD auto corrects WELLIES to WILLIES!!!!

[Guest]

Haha that's so funny Moo!!

[Gezabel]

I love these! Going to have to copy and print!!!!

 

Last term I asked parents to remember their children's wellies and make sure they were labelled. It wasn't until I was approached by a very tongue in cheek parent asking me if I had any WILLIE labels that I realised WORD auto corrects WELLIES to WILLIES!!!!

reminds me of the one where a policy was amended by using the 'find and replace' facility.

The word Mum was to be replaced with parents. The computer facility worked a treat until they realised they had 'maxiparents' and 'miniparents.'

 

 

In case like many it takes a while to work it out it's beause the words maximum and minimum got changed too.

[fimbo]

I love these! Going to have to copy and print!!!!

 

Last term I asked parents to remember their children's wellies and make sure they were labelled. It wasn't until I was approached by a very tongue in cheek parent asking me if I had any WILLIE labels that I realised WORD auto corrects WELLIES to WILLIES!!!!

 

lol !!! ours did this too, we asked if any parents had any spare willies they could send in, as we were all going up the garden to get dirty !!

[Inge]

This one was sent to me today

 

An English professor wrote on his chalkboard - A woman without her man is nothing

 

and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

 

 

the males in the class all wrote - A woman, without her man, is nothing.

 

 

the females in the class wrote - A woman: without her, man is nothing.

 

 

 

Punctuation is powerful.