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Behaviour In Nursery


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Looking for some advice. I'm an NQT in Nursery having a bit of a problem with the boys behaviour at the moment.


Today have had one incident where one slapped another boy across the face. I heard the slap from across the room. This boy has a very ill younger brother who has been in and out of hospital since September. If his brother is in hospital the boy will go with him and play on play station all morning.

This happened at home time just before opening doors, had time to put something cold on to face, little time to deal with situation before talking to parents.


This is not the first incident from this child. Have talked to mum before who got very distressed, dad collected him this evening just went bright red and hardly said a thing.


Not sure where to go from here?? Or how to deal with such behaviour in the future


Thanks for any suggestions

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We deal with situations like this by having a board with our house rules on and going through them with the children at registation time and when ever incidents occur. We have thing s like :


We must say please and thank you

We are kind to our friends

We share our toys

We look after our toys

We say sorry if we hurt someone

we listen to our teachers

we dont run around the hall


If there is an incident we get the board go through it with said child/children, is things keep occuring give them time out with a member of staff, and chat to parents about whats happening in childs life at the mo and how we can sort it together as a team. :D:D:D

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When we had some behaviour management training recently in our setting we were taught that the most important thing is to say a firm "NO - we don't do that here" so that the expectations are made transparently clear straight away. Then deal with the injured child and give them lots of attention and sympathy. When you return to the child who has behaved inappropriately you need to have a clear idea whether you are going to ask for them to apologise or make amends in some way to the injured party - it may be important for them to see the injury and be made aware that it hurts. There may be a need for consequences of some sort too. I would also encourage talking to the parents about it too.


We have a child whose yonger sibling is often in hospital and it makes life very changeable for the child, so some allowances do need to be made for the situation too - giving them time to talk to us about how they feel etc and generally giving attention at times when they are just playing nicely. Sometimes inapporpriate behaviour is attention-seeking and it may be that that is a factor here.

I find dealing with behaviour the hardest part of the job - you have my sympathies


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Hi & welcome Alice! :D

Aside from all the above suggestions as how to deal with the situation re the child, you should probably tell your head teacher of the incident or the deputy or FS coord and record it. If you have not done this, you need to do so tomorrow.

You should also talk to the parents of the injured child.


As for the behaviour itself which I think is causing you most concern, log the incident and anything else that happens. It may be that because of the home situation this child will need external intervention at some time. Also make him aware that the behaviour itself is unacceptable and why. You may need to involve the parents and instigate a behaiour programme but at the moment monitoring the situation and keeping your SMT informed is most important.


Dont be afraid to ask for help in school either. There will be a behaviour policy of some description to help you too.


Good luck.

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Hi Alice,


Welcome to the forum. :D I think sometimes we all forget that for this age group we are teaching the children a wide range of things and one of these is how to get on with others. To my mind it is one of the most important parts of my job - without these social skills the children are going to find life very difficult. The important thing is to deal with it in a professional way - do you have policies in your nursery you can refer to? Make sure you remain sympathetic and non judgemental and speak to both parents in a calm manner. By dealing with it in a positive way you can make a real difference to the child. :) Unfortunately there is no easy answer but by working in partnership with the parents you should be able to come up with strategies which will work with. :D

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I agree with Susan about keeping a behaviour log, but remember that parents have the right to read anything that you record formally about their child, so be careful how you word it and remember to record the context in which the behaviour occurred. :o

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