What Would You Do?

[Guest]

for a while now we have had the same parent come in to collect her child and she stinks of what i could only discribe as weed, i think she has been open to others that she smokes it but a few of the parents have mentioned it to us, what should we do? I see it as someone who has had a drink and if a drunk parent turned up you would soon do something about it, she's very chilled out, the child has adhd, not that thats an excuse ( don't know why i put that?) but i just dont know what to do? Any suggestions would be helpful, Thanks.

[Guest]

In the training I did for Child Protection we were told that you can always phone up Cambridgeshire Direct with a "what if" question that might not go any further.

Jane

[Guest]

Hi Jules01,

 

Do you feel she's competent to be in charge of the child? Are you concerned the child may come to harm?

 

I think I'd have an "off the record" chat with your local authority. Ours ran training on "drug and alcohol abuse" highlighting what to do if a parent had issues - although I'm aware that it differs from area to area.

 

Good Luck!

 

Nona

[aliamch]

We recently got a letter/email through saying we are no longer allowed to make 'what if' calls, this might only be in Herts, but I'll look to see if I've still got the email.

Karrie

[Guest]

I do think she is competent with him, and she is very laid back so maybe i could say something, i dont want to say other parents mentioned it as i know there is tention already when her son lashes out to other children while they are waiting to come in the setting, the parents tent to look down on her as they dont know about his adhd so i do feel a bit protective of her, if that makes sence?

[Guest]

That makes lots of sense, Jules01 - it's hard when you can see a family being isolated by others who use the setting.

 

If you don't feel comfortable with a "what if" approach, would you be able to have a little chat directly with the Mum?

 

Perhaps you could mention that you're planning a "being healthy" topic and will be talking about smoking. Hint that you'll be talking about the smell of smoke etc and see how she responds?

 

Nona

[HappyMaz]

What are your concerns, jules01? If you first identify why you're wondering if you need to do something, then deciding on a course of action might be easier. If you don't think she is incompetent to look after her child, but are more worried about the child's long term welfare then perhaps you could adopt a more gentle approach to raising the issue with her.

 

I'm surprised about what you say Karrie about being told that 'advice' calls aren't allowed any more - I'd have said being able to pose a hypothetical question without giving details of individual children/parents is a vital way of making decisions about what to do in these very grey areas, or just to confirm that your first instincts are correct, or whether you should be more concerned.

 

I have to say that I'm completely naive in these matters - I wouldn't know what the smell is like so I'd be completely clueless.

 

Maz

[Guest]

I have to say that I'm completely naive in these matters - I wouldn't know what the smell is like so I'd be completely clueless.

 

Maz

 

Me, too, Maz!

 

I was hopeless on the Drug Awareness training I attended.

 

They gave us a matching game - pictures on 1 card and the name on the other - nil points!

 

Next, the names of the drugs on cards for us to put in category A, B or C - nil points!

 

Then try to match the drug names with their street names nil points, again!!!

 

I felt so old and out of touch. I think I may have led a very sheltered life

 

Nona

[Guest]

I think i will plant the seed and mention something, its very difficult as i dont want to tell people how to live their lives but i would never forgive myself if something happend and i did nothing! we are in a very small village and ive heard mum and dad have a very firery relationship but tend to brush it a side untill i see it affects the child.

[Guest]

That sounds sensible to me and I think I'd do the same in your shoes!

 

Hope it goes well,

 

Nona

[hali]

i was on level 2 safeguarding course last week and as far as im concerned 'what if' phone calls are allowed

[Deb]

We actually had this problem with a child who was known to social services. I wouldn't have a clue what weed smelt like but apparently there was an unmistakable smell.

 

I phone the key worker from social services (who didn't get back to me until I phoned again but I digress) who it transpires had been in contact with the parent to say that it was not acceptable to turn up collecting the child smelling of drugs.

 

When I didn't hear back I phoned SS again to be told the above. When I asked what we should do if this happened again I was told that our normal child protection procedures apply.

 

It never happened again but we were vigilent and looked for signs of drug abuse from the parent such as pupils dilated, the smell of weed, any slurred speech and ability to walk in a straight line. The question we had to consider was what if this parent intended to drive home. The same as if you suspected a parent of drinking alcohol.

 

As a staff team we discussed what we would do, though none of us relished having to challenge the parent is an understatement, most of us felt we had a duty to. We had 2 members of staff on duty at the door, to support each other.

 

We role played what we would say discreetly to the parent ie there is a strong smell of weed, would you mind waiting here while I phone social services to ask them what they want us to do. This was what SS told us to do, put it back in the hands of social services in this case because the child was known to them.

 

It may be that you could say - would you mind waiting while I phone the your emergency contact person to come and collect you and your child. It could be that like in our case, that is all that is needed to stop it happening at least at collecting time.

 

As our parent was a man (physically stronger than us), we did not want to take him to the office or through the main playroom so that is why we decided on asking him to wait at the door.

 

I think it is a good idea to seek an informal consultation with your local SS office for advice.

[aliamch]

This is a copy of the mail we received last year.

Karrie

 

Discontinuing___What_If__s__.docx

[HappyMaz]

This is a copy of the mail we received last year.

Thanks for this Karrie - it is a timely reminder that each area's Local Safeguarding Children's Board sets its own procedures and anything we do must follow that advice.

 

Maz