Guest Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 quote Biccy "What I'm trying to say its a very careful line to walk between fun, ridicule, rudeness, disrespect and humlilation. Sometimes you don't realise one may cause the other until its too late and then it is well too late. You have other staff and parents to consider because what you think is fun they may not and want to discourage." I good point Biccy, however, I'd like to suggest that adults who know the child would, most often, be able to judge with what 'intent' the child is using nicknames/namecalling. Could an adult not be able to tell if the 'intent' (from the child) was 'for fun/a game' or was rude/malicious? To me it's a bit like the PC brigade, stating certain words are politically incorrect ie: racist, ageist etc etc, it's not the 'words' that are right or wrong, it is the 'intent' in which a word is used that defines the boundaries for the word. Staff and parents, when with children, shouldn't automatically consider, and act upon their perception of the word, they should observe, listen and consider the childs perception, (through the eyes of a child), to see the childs intent before judging or telling a child off for using words (real or made-up) in certain ways. If another child or adult is offended, they should be enabled to voice their discomfort in a way that doesn't automatically 'lay blame' on the child unless they are very sure of malicious intent. This is a skill to be learnt, to be able to voice how you feel with consideration to the person you are voicing it to. How can you practice this skill, if you don't experience such 'games'. I don't think this joking, namecalling, word play is just 'played' by young children, quite frequently my two sons aged 12 / 14 yrs will say something to me and add 'only joking', sometimes I 'get the joke', other times I'll say, well actually I don't find that funny because.......' They tend to 'play' with 'context' of sentences, 'double meanings' etc, rather than illiteration of two or three words. A 'teenage' trait which I think is in part why teenagers get a 'bad name', which is a shame because often their intent is not to offend. Cuddles and child protection, All I can say is that if a child is hurt the child needs emotional and physical support to overcome what is a trauma (all be it often a mild trauma). To deny this need for emotional and physical support is in my mind abuse, and therefore anyone who says this support should not be given to a child is in fact contravening the child protection policy. Consistent lack of emotional support, which includes caring physical contact is abuse, and this will definately impact on a childs emotional development. It will impact in two ways, the childs emotional needs not being met following the 'trauma' and the childs feelings of rejection because crying (or other ways of communicating the need) has been ignored. This impacts on the childs ability to make attachments and provokes a sense of 'loss' ( denial of affection). This is detrimental to a childs overall development, because they will put up 'coping' barriers, affecting ability to listen, respond, play, think, feel, etc etc. My 4 foster children are the product of 'emotional' abuse and neglect. Cuddles, in my view are as essential as air, water and food. Peggy
Marion Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Cuddles, in my view are as essential as air, water and food. Peggy I couldn't agree more!
SmileyPR Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Wow, Peggy! You couldn't put it better! I totally agree with you.
Upsy Daisy Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Absolutely spot on Peggy! The reason we cuddle instinctively is that children NEED cuddles. We are duty bound to fulfill all of their needs including that for physical comfort when they are distressed. We seem to all agree on the need for close physical contact with babies and many settings are actually planning for that now. When do we decide that this need disappears? Certainly not when they move on from the baby room. Children need to have a strong trusting relationship with the adults who care for them and any child who needs to sit on my lap for a cuddle will ALWAYS be welcome! I felt very sad when we were away for the weekend with my daughter's reception teacher and her family. When they arrived she called my daughter over and said 'Come and sit on my knee and have a cuddle. It's ages since you did it because we're not allowed to at school'.
Guest Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 interesting.... will come back to this one when my baby is asleep... i have been called Mrs 'Boobs' a few times, it stuck with the staff lol
Guest Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 and I do cuddles and would expect anyone caring for my child on a regular basis to do so too!
Guest Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 when any of the children in my group hurt themselves and I have to fill out an accident form I always record needed a cuddle in the box for action taken never had a complaint yet. I tell parents that x has been a bit upset and asked for a cuddle as a key person I think it is part of my role in positive relationships/keyperson and as a manager I would expect my staff to do this if they feel comfortable. I have photos of myself and staff with children sat on our laps or having a cuddle and add these to learning journeys as evidence of bonding with a familiar adult. parents have always given us positive comments about this. there is a fine line to follow and that is why we do safeguarding training to ensure we all know where not to cross the fine line it would be very sad if we got to the stage that we couldn't offer a bit of warmth for a child who needs it. however I have to say that when we had a head lice epidemic cuddles where a bit thin on the ground. sue
Guest Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Where's your sense of dedication! Regards Mark http://earlychildcare.wordpress.com/ when any of the children in my group hurt themselves and I have to fill out an accident form I always record needed a cuddle in the box for action taken never had a complaint yet. I tell parents that x has been a bit upset and asked for a cuddle as a key person I think it is part of my role in positive relationships/keyperson and as a manager I would expect my staff to do this if they feel comfortable. I have photos of myself and staff with children sat on our laps or having a cuddle and add these to learning journeys as evidence of bonding with a familiar adult. parents have always given us positive comments about this. there is a fine line to follow and that is why we do safeguarding training to ensure we all know where not to cross the fine line it would be very sad if we got to the stage that we couldn't offer a bit of warmth for a child who needs it. however I have to say that when we had a head lice epidemic cuddles where a bit thin on the ground. sue
Guest Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Yes Sue, my standard answer to the treatment box on the accident forms is always "cold compress and cuddles".
Guest Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 well Mark I must be still dedicated as I have had them 3 times this year! Im so glad someone else does this Clare sue
emmajess Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 however I have to say that when we had a head lice epidemic cuddles where a bit thin on the ground.sue That must be my head lice problem! Not checking for headlice before cuddling (have had headlicxe far too often!)
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