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Kat
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Hi I was hoping that someone may be able to provide me with some help. I have a 4 year old boy in my class whose behaviour I am very worried about. His behaviour includes; hitting, spitting, pinching, pushing and hurting other children in the class, breaking other children's models, stealing (classroom resources and other children's toys), targeting one quiet boy by leaning into him and calling him names. He also tries not to sit with the other children when we are doing group activites or the register and if he does sit with the class he is disruptive or gets up and runs away. His mum has just recentently started working in the office and his behaviour seems to have deteriorated. I am unsure if he is attention seeking and I am unaware of any problems at home. We have tried rewards systems, individual sticker charts, giving him individual responsibilities, reducing the time on the carpet, observing him during free choice, trying to support him in making friendships (although this is difficult as the other children seem to fear him), sending him to the head for rewards not just punishments, ignoring his behaviour, going outside with him at playtime, reminding him of the rules, taking away privaliages (always reminding him why), I have even found my loud voice :o which I don't like using. I have a very supportive head who has worked closely with me and tried to convince me that this is not my fault. I just feel really down as this child is a lovely boy and I feel that I am failing him. Sorry to ramble on and on hope someone can help xD

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Just a quick reply - and not one which is going to offer you the answer - BUT you must not feel it's your fault! Some children take a long time to settle and adjust to new routines/rules etc. He may have problems of which you are not yet aware. You seem to be trying lots of different stategies - I think you just need to persevere with these and make sure you are consistent. You could monitor his behaviour and see if there are any things in particular which provoke certain behaviours - this could be activities/groupings with particular children ........... I do feel some children react differently when their parents are near - we have a couple who are perfectly content on a daily basis but 'play up' mum by being clingy/crying when mum is around.

 

Sorry I can't wave a magic wand ... but don't blame yourself!

Harricroft

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You seem to be using strategies which usually work with most children, but ensure that everyone is consistasnt and that he knows his boundaried will not change. we have found that is is not unusual for children to behave differently when they know a parent is aroungd or within ear shot. we currently have a child who cries every time she arreives causeing parents distress, but as soon as they are out of sight turns it off immediately smiles and joins in. (we made dad hide behind a curtain so he could hear the sudden change, he laughed and went away very happy!!)

 

I think it would be a good idea to monitor and observe to see if there is a particular trigger, or cause. Occasionally this shows very surprising results.

 

Just keep on with the same and dont think of it as failure if it takes time to help this child , we all at times look for the magic formula, not found one yet!

 

 

Inge

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Thank you for your replies it's good to know that other people have experienced similar situations. I will persevere with the strategies and hopefully find one that works. I will definately dedicate time to observe him and see if there are any triggers to his behaviour. Thank you so much as always fab advice! :D

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