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Now Play Nice!


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Hi everyone,

The children I have now in my reception class have terrible social skills.

Does anyone have any good games that will keep children so young interested and develop their social skills at the same tim

Thanks

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No wonderful ideas, still reeling from the shock answer on one of my new children's 'About Me' questionnaire.

In response to the question

'What does your child enjoy doing?' Mum has put 'Hitting other children.' Oh dear, it's going to be a long half term.

Posy

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One tactic I used with my preschool children was to give them the 'words' to deal with squabbles over toys/resources etc. ie:a child takes a toy from another (normally at an opportune moment, or blatantly snatches). The adult intervenes and tells the child who wants the toy to ask "Can I have that when you are finished please?" The innevitable answer is "Yes" xD Although quite a long sentence I found that even my 3 yr olds learnt it quite quickly. A win win situation. :rolleyes:

 

Involve the children in forming the class rules and consequences. :unsure:

Loudly OTT praise the good social skills every time they are seen (or nearly seen :( ie: Oh Clare you look like you are just about to share.......with.......that's so kind, ven though you know she wasn't but it's time she did :(

 

Sorry if I'm telling how to suck eggs, but hope this helps a little.

 

With my own children if the anti-social behaviour is too constant, I just say ...well if that's how you want to play, get on with it, but don't come crying to me when any of you are upset. :o (maybe not allowed in school :( ) Basically putting the responsibility back to them to 'sort it out themselves', sometimes adults can intervene too soon or often and children become 'dependent' on the attention (be it even negative) and the adult negotiating, problem solving for them, that they don't learn to think how to deal with situations themselves.

 

In fact the nanny state we live in doesn't help ie: don't drive this way, if you put such and such in your bin, we will punish you by such and such (for goodness sake give us the credence to have the maturity to work out how to and get used to the system of recycling ourselves ;) ) In fact treat the adult population like adults, then we may behave like adults. Sorry rant over.

 

I do sometimes feel that society as a whole is being far too led, and people are not left to be responsible for the impact of their own actions, it's more like you do this wrong and the punishment will be dictated and often irrelevant to the actual wrong deed. If you know what mean. ie: Nanny state, society too reliable on government intervention ( or it's too imposed), either in consequences or in bailing us out when things go wrong- get in severe debt, debt agencies will help, well what happened to common sense (never a lender or borrower be )

 

Sorry if I appear to have gone right off tangent to the original query, but society's attitudes, I think do impact on our expectations of children, and our childrens expectations of us to 'deal' with every difficult social situation that they come across even if it is as basic as wanting a toy that another child has.

 

Back to basics, responsibility for own actions is what I think, and skills to negotiate, recognise fairness and sometimes have to wait- in this 'I want it now' world :wacko:

 

oooh, I hope this rant isn't a condition of my age, I really am starting to sound like my mother. xD

 

Peggy

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we always encourage the children to say 'When I am finished playing with...I will give it to you to play with' We always follow up this to ensure the children carry out what they say are going to do...if this makes sense!!! This works very well in our setting and we are very proud when the children follow it through without any assistance from the adult!!! :o

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just wanted to add this poem, which I got from this forum ages ago, sorry can't remember the original poster, but it will hopefully put a smile on your face when the going gets tough.

 

You could also possibly use it as a starting point for circle/ mat time discussion? :o

 

Peggy

 

p.s. I know it refers to Toddlers, but may help your children to recognise/identify what one orm of a lack of social skills looks like xD

The_Property_Laws_of_the_Toddler.doc

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we always encourage the children to say 'When I am finished playing with...I will give it to you to play with' We always follow up this to ensure the children carry out what they say are going to do...if this makes sense!!! This works very well in our setting and we are very proud when the children follow it through without any assistance from the adult!!! :o

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Also when I introduce parents/carers to the setting I tell them that part of our practice is allowing the children to sort their own 'battles out' meaning that they tell each other how they feel if they have a little 'tete-a-tete' saying that ' they do not like what they are doing and that we use our hands to play/feet to kick balls/teeth to bite food etc... we encourage the children of the setting to have an input into the running of the setting by having a voice about the practices - NOT RULES of the setting!!! and this is put into practice by having photographs of children doing so. Hope this all makes sense...

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you know them books bobby shafto songs etc theres lots of different ones now

i use these a lot to sing at starts of routine changes and these act as little reminders of social behaviour i am expecting

 

loved the poem too x

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just wanted to add this poem, which I got from this forum ages ago, sorry can't remember the original poster, but it will hopefully put a smile on your face when the going gets tough.

 

You could also possibly use it as a starting point for circle/ mat time discussion? :o

 

Peggy

 

p.s. I know it refers to Toddlers, but may help your children to recognise/identify what one orm of a lack of social skills looks like xD

 

 

Thanks Peggy.............it did make me smile!! :(

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Is that called positive thinking!!??

I can't remember the athlete's name, but I'm sure our Tae Kwon Do silver medallist was enrolled in lessons because her mother realised she quite liked kicking other children... :o

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Love the poem Peggy! I think it was written to describe my big sister, she's now well matured(!!) but some things just never change.

 

Let's hope she doesn't read this!!!

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:o I have a little plaque on the wall with a similar poem - right opposite the table Mrs O used during my inspection! (that & one that says "Caution - woman under the influence of children"!)

They made her smile, too.

Nona

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Thanks everyone, that poem really made me smile Peggy, definatelygoing to print it off and laminate it so I have it forever.

One of my children spat at me today so I think a lot of behaviour work needs to be done!

 

Its going to be a long term............

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Glad you all like the poem, I can't take credit for it, I got it from here :(

 

ooh, Rachel86, must admit spitting is one behaviour I find really difficult to 'react calmly to'. It is definately a behaviour that a child must know provokes reaction, so we try not to don't we :o (mantra to self xD )

 

Peggy

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Thanks ever so much for the poem - have printed it out and am going to laminate it and keep it in a very prominent position in the classroom. Might make parents' smile and teachers in KS1/2 realise what we do in Foundation Stage. :o

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