2 Years And 8 Months

[SazzJ]

Hi

 

I have a child in my room who is 2 years and 8 months. However, we are struggling to keep her entertained.

 

She is very bright for her age. Can count to 10, knows her colours and shapes and at planning time will have a good guess at who name card i am holding up. However, she seems to get bored easily and as a result gets upto a lot of mischief.

 

She doesn't seem keen on sharing and if a child has something she wants she will go to any length to obtain it, often resulting in her physically attacking the child. She is also found of say the phrase 'shut up' too which we never use.

 

We do give her time out when needed but sometimes she can spend most of the day in time out.

 

She also seems to clash very badly with a member of staff but i can see why this happens as the member of staff thinks she can control her. If she does get told off then she will often wet herself too.

 

I just don't know what to do with her. We have tried a bit one to one time and she is great with this but we don't have the staff to give her the one to one all the time.

 

Do you think i should let her join in more with the FS children? I have to admit though she doesn't have a very good concentration span either

[Sue R]

Personally, I would definitely let her join in with the FS children - our children in PS, whatever their age, are free to access all activities, as it's always possible to find a suitable 'angle' for any child. You may find her concentration 'suddenly' improves, if she's involved in something that is more interesting or challenging to her!

 

Let us know how you go on,

 

Sue

[SazzJ]

It is one large room that is divided by a barrier. The under 3's on on side and the overs on the other.

 

We have been informed that we must keep them seperated but i think i will allow her to access the over's side and see how she gets on

[narnia]

...........and i'd cut the time out too....if she can 'spend most of the day'in that situation sometimes, then it's clearly not working, is it?I agree with Sue, let her loose on the other side of the fence and see what happens.......she may really blossom! Good luck!

[Guest]

We have had a similar situation with an older boy who now goes in with Reception 2 mornings a week as he is quite a lot older and more developed than the other children at pre-school.

 

I think it has eased the situation however he complains that they work him too hard!! But thats not a bad thing as it has made him appreciate pre-school for having more freedom!!

 

I also agree with Narnia about the time outs. Re-direction is far more effective she obviously needs a challenge (the child not Narnia!!).

[Guest]

It is one large room that is divided by a barrier. The under 3's on on side and the overs on the other.

 

We have been informed that we must keep them seperated but i think i will allow her to access the over's side and see how she gets on

 

 

Curious, do the children 'move over' depending on DOB?

 

Only going by your example just because a child can count to 10, knows colours and beginning to recognise the 'patterns' of writing doesn't always suggest that a child is 'advanced', maybe you have more evidence of this. Her PSE skills are, I would say, less advanced. However, I would suggest that many children aged 2.8 yrs are ready for a differentiated foundation stage curriculum.

So, I agree with others, moving her up may help, also working on enabling her to form friendships, to have a playmate who she looks forward to spending time with. Once she is with a peer group who can 'give as good back' ie: stand up for their own rights, use language to say how they feel (when she snatches etc) and negotiate their play with their peers, then your observations of her peer interactions can show in which ways she may need support in PSE.

What do parents say? What are her experiences out of the setting? Does she have siblings / only child? etc

 

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

 

Peggy

[SazzJ]

Curious, do the children 'move over' depending on DOB?

 

She has been in the setting since she was a baby and is an only child. Parents sem to have a difficult time too. I am begining to think that there is something else happening ie autistic etc as she can't maintain eye contact very well either

 

The children should move over if they turn three however, my room is near its maximu. I have 8 overs and 8 unders, the room in total only holds a max of 17. So depending on the day it may mean that some of the over's have to be placed on the under side and we therefore have less unders IYKWIM

 

I do try and distract her after she has broken a class rule but more often than not she will return and do exactly what she shouldn't do. She knows she has done wrong and also knows that she shouldn't off done it as she will say '(name) not say shut up'.

 

I do agree we need to change tactic but there is really the same staff in so it can be quite difficult. And no-one seems to have an alternative.

[Mouseketeer]

we also run in one large room, but have never been told our children need to be keep apart depending on thier age, we have structured times each session for the older/more able children but at all other times all children from 2 yr 6 months can access all areas/activities.

[HappyMaz]

I do try and distract her after she has broken a class rule

What sort of class rules are you talking about, SazzJ? It sounds very formal when you put it like that!

 

I wonder if some ABC observations might help to discover if she's finding it hard to conform to your rules for acceptable behaviour in certain circumstances or is it all the time?

 

It does sound as if you need to come up with some winning strategies and ensure that staff use them consistently - tricky I know, if you don't have much staff continuity.

 

Maz

[Guest]

I'd ask parents permission to talk with H.Visitor, and maybe get area SENCO in to do an obs / offer support.

 

Peggy

[SazzJ]

I feel like i have a completely different child

 

She has been excellent these last two days. No time out or nothing

 

The only change........................................................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She hasn't been with the staff she clashes with

[Guest]

I feel like i have a completely different child

 

She has been excellent these last two days. No time out or nothing

 

The only change........................................................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She hasn't been with the staff she clashes with

 

 

Oh that's great news. I think you've also found your solution

 

To be perfectly honest I find it quite disturbing that a child of only 2 years 8 months is clashing with a member of staff and would be looking at the conduct and attitude of the staff member rather than the child.

I was also quite alarmed to hear that the child spent the majority of the day in time out...surely this is not an effective solution to discipline for such a young child (but I think you've identified this is a problem already). I'd be horrified and extremely angry if I was the parent of the child.

 

I hope you're not offended by what I say but it sounds as though you're expecting too much of these young children obiding by the Class Rules....and reading between the lines it feels like that particular staff member has 'it in' for the little girl.

I am only guessing and making wild assumptions that this little girl probably gets more attention when she 'breaks a class rule' so see's the benefit of doing so, hence the repetition......perhaps a little more praise, reward and cuddles is required for when she is behaving well.

[Guest]

That's good news, hopefully now the girl will have more fun and the staff will see and embrace the positive side of her character.

 

Peggy

[SazzJ]

The class room rules we come up together with as a class.

 

They incldue things like no hitting etc. Just every day rules that help ensure everyone remains safe. We are a very informal setting but i do feel children need rules so that the classroom runs fairly and smoothly. The children are given three warnings before time out about the same behaviour.

 

Her timeout was only even not effective if if was one certain member of staff who put her there

[HappyMaz]

I am going to proceed with caution here, so as not to offend...

 

We rarely use timeout with children in our group - and then only when we think children will be able to reflect on why they have been removed from a situation and be able to consider changing their behaviour/actions in future. The ages of children in our group range from two years four months to five, so our children display a range of behavious (both wanted and unwanted) as their social skills improve, and they move towards achieving maturity.

 

We have just begun to use conflict resolution techniques to help children resolve their own difficulties (such as one child hitting another or snatching a toy etc) and even the youngest children respond well to this - especially as it means that everyone is treated consistently, and has a voice in how the problem is resolved.

 

I'm glad you have identified a possible reason for this child's difficulties - how are you going to tackle the particular staff member involved? She might need help to reflect on what it is about her approach that provokes this reaction from a particular child, and whether she needs to make adjustments to her practice.

 

How are the other staff responding to the sudden turn around in the child's behaviour? Sometimes it can be difficult to adjust opinions about a child's behaviour and the 'naughty' label can be a hard one to shake off.

 

Maz

[SazzJ]

One staff member has left and the other one is rarely in our room.

 

The child knows exactly what she is doing wrong as she will tell us what it is she has done wrong but her behaviour at time can be very persistant. Even if you remove her from the situation she will go back to it and continue with it. I use timeout as a last resource

 

I do agree she has been labeled as the naughty child by the two staff members. Me and the other staff member know that she can be fine if they aren't in the room and so we are just happy that she is able to enjoy herself more.

 

Too be honest though i have come across some very negative people lately in my work place. Some of them are just very negative about one particular child where others are negative about everything.

 

It just makes me wonder why some people even work with kids!!!!!

[HappyMaz]

It just makes me wonder why some people even work with kids!!!!!

Would you like to 'phone a friend or ask the audience?

 

This is the basic stumbling block, really - and no matter how much experience or how high the qualification, if practitioners don't have a genuine interest in promoting the learning and development of children and keeping children's needs at the centre of everything they do, all else will be lost.

 

Maz (stepping down from soapbox now...)

[SazzJ]

Maz you are so right

 

I consider myself to be a fairly new practitioner but i still feel i have beetr skills than some of the people i work with. which is why it makes me mad when they put level 6's down

 

They are level 3 with considerbly more experience than me but i don't feel they have the desire to work with kids. But if you ain't interested in the children why work with them

[Sue R]

Sazz,

 

I'm sorry you find yourself in this position, but as an oldie, I can assure you that it's the individuals that are at fault. I have 'considerable' experience but don't 'know it all' and truly love my job, with those joyful little people, however 'awkward' they might be. It's a whole new wonderful world out there!!! All I ever want is to give them the best time and the best start in their lives.

 

And now I sound like Mother Teresa!!

 

Sue

[HappyMaz]

And now I sound like Mother Teresa!!

We all need a bit of that fire though, Sue - even if it does make us appear as if we're a candidate for sainthood!

 

You should know that - being an FSF saint and all

 

Maz

[Sue R]

[SazzJ]

Sue i agree with you

 

Two members of staff told me a few weeks ago that i wasn't allowed to make choc playdough anymore in their room as it made a mess. One is fairly old but the other one is young like me. WHAT HAPPENED TO GIVING CHILDREN EXPERIENCES??????????????

 

It just makes me mad

 

Needles to say i have taken no notice

[Sue R]

Have a hug, then get the gear out and make TONS of the stuff!

 

Sue

[Guest]

SazzJ,

It must be awful going to work and having to work with negative staff {{{Hug}}}

I read my previous post and must apologise as it sounded awful...I'm so sorry if I offended you.

It really annoys me that an adults behaviour can bring out the worst in very young children - the same adults that are being trusted to set a good example. Hopefully this little girl will turn the corner now and show the staff that she isn't "naughty".

You must be relieved that one member has left and the other is rarely in your room, hopefully you can bring some positivity back into the room.

 

I'm soooooooooo glad that I'm a childminder and can make as much mess as I want to lol I don't have to answer to anyone (not even my husband - he's used to it now and knows all about gloop and sand mousse lol !) The children aren't rushed and I can - oops I mean the children can experiment all day with sand, water and playdough

 

Maz, may I ask what Conflict Resolution Techniques are and how to use it with 2yr olds? Many thanks x x