Guest Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Just wondered how to deal with this one...I've got a level 3 TA in the nursery and I've found that she tells the children what to do and orders them around before I get chance! Today she told me she wanted prayers sooner so she could do something specific, she seems to have a louder voice than me and says things like 'Come on nursery, you don't usually do this' I feel undermined and am losing confidence. What can I say to her and how can I say it without hurting her feelings if possible? Or should I tell my line manager? ( I have told a colleague) I'm just returning after a long illness and want to avoid stressful situations as much as possible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I'm just returning after a long illness possibly she is trying to be supportive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Oh Kermit, what a difficult one. Its difficult to advise when I dont know the other person but you do need to sort this, especially as it is upsetting you and asap! I think you need to alert your line manager and work out some strategies together that you can put into place. I wouldnt tackle it without the support of knowledge that there was someone else aware of the situation and what you are doing about it. It may be that the long term solution is that you are not a good working team as planning together ought to alleviate these sort of niggles, however, it is often difficult as the "new" team member to work out specifics with a strong "oldie". Hope that makes sense. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Oh dear. This is a very difficult situation to be in. When I first started teaching as an NQT my TA was very similar to the sounds of your TA - even down to the very loud voice. I would definately alert your line manager and work out how to deal with this together as if you try to tackle this alone it could all go wrong. With my head's backing and support I was able to assert myself with my TA and we were able to work together effectively, however for a few weeks work was very difficult and there were a few tears and harsh words said to get to this point. Hopefully your situation will not come to this. Please let us know how you go on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 I have told my line manager today in a nice way about the situation and she says she will monitor the situation and have a word with her if I want her too. She is trying to be supportive I agree but she does overstep the mark. I'm hoping to gain the confidence to have a word with her myself if the situation doesn't improve. I'll keep you up to speed with how I get on. Thanks for your words of wisdom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Well done, thats the first hurdle. If its half term next week, relax and start afresh when you go back. Take charge, delegate and dont give her the opportunity to undermine you. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 As a thought... how much responsibility did she have when you were away... Could be she became used to added responsibility and finds it hard to 'step back' now you are back or simply does not realise what she is doing as she has been doing the job for a while.... it can happen to all of us sometimes when we gain confidence in a position and then find it removed from us again. Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 I have to keep a reflective journal for my degree course, and link it to theory in order to back up what I have discussed. I came across something written Janet Moyles about assertiveness and averting or resolving problems. She suggests using an 'assertiveness format' which enables the person raising the issue to make four admissions about something creating conflict:- When you ... I feel ... Because ... I would prefer ... So you are outlining the thing that is causing you a problem, explaining how it makes you feel, and why, and finally you are letting the person know what you would prefer them to do in future. It takes a bit of getting used to, but it seems to work because although you start by outlining that the person is doing something you don't like, you are concentrating on how the action makes you feel rather than how they are making you feel, and giving them clear direction about how you would like this to be dealt with in future. Hope you get this sorted - it sounds a very tricky situation indeed. Especially if she thinks she's being helpful... Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 As a thought... how much responsibility did she have when you were away... It has come to light that she has been taking on a leading role whilst I was away which I wasn't previously aware of so that accounts for it really Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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