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Guest AllyB

I am having difficulties with a little boy who constantly behaves in a unappropriate manner. He runs into the other children full force, shouts and screams at the top of his voice, hits the other children with anything he can get his hands on, he jumps on the tables and chairs, chucks his food around at dinnertime and this is on a good day! I have tried to work with him using a smiley chart but after two months this has made no difference and when he does something wrong he says he doesn't care if he gets all sad faces in his chart! His mum and grandma have been really good and have said that they will not get him special treats unless he gets more happy faces than sad ones. As far as I know they back up what is said at home. I have tried talking tohim when he does things wrong but he turns his head away from me. I have also tried ignoring his bad behaviour and really praising the good, but you can't ignore him jumping over the sofa and landing on whoever is sitting on it. I need more ideas on how to approach the problem and improve it...he is going to school in September! xD:o

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Hi Ally

We have the same problem with one of our boys. Very, very similar behaviour. He knows the difference between good and bad behaviour when it is somebody else doing it but doesn't see the same applies to him. We have recently used last chance and time out strategies. So if he hurts somebody or his behaviour is unacceptable then he gets one last chance and then he has to sit out for 5 minutes, sometimes longer if we feel it warrants it. Is he argumentative as well? Our little boy constantly questioned why he had to sit out and genuinely didn't know that he had done something wrong. These strategies were working a little and he had marginally improved up until last week when his mum went back to work and he isn't coping with the new situation. We have been logging observations and have put together an IPP for him since November.

Today our early years advisor came in to observe him, the last of 3, and she has now said that it is time, with parental permission, to contact the educational psychologist. He goes to school in September also and the change is going to be too much for him unless the school are aware of his problems and are prepared for him. His parents are very cooperative so they reinforce what we are doing at home.

Have you got an IPP in place for him and a log of any observations you have done? Your SENCO needs to get in touch with the area SENCO and ask them to come in and observe him, again with parental permission. Or perhaps the health visitor could come in and make a referal.

Hope this is of some help to you. I know how difficult it can be-our little boy has already gained a reputation for himself with the other parents as there are very few children in the pre-school that he hasn't hurt!!! And he is such a loveable little boy.


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goodness where would you start :o I have just had some positive behaviour management training but I feel you are already using brilliant strategies. With such extreme behaviours it is really hard. One of the best bits of the training was the use of consequences; therefore the unacceptable behaviour has a negative consequence sad face, time out etc. we use a one minute sand timer (long enough to calm a little). Trainer said that the consequences are better smaller but more often, this is to unlearn the behaviours that have proved succesful in getting the child the attention, result they want. Cant really put 3hrs discussion in this reply could send you the outline of training if you want.

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Guest valletta

with the parents permission of course..... I would get the Health visitor in who would in turn refer him to either a pre school that deals with behavourial problems (which this child certainly has)


We had the same problem and got a person in who assessed him whilst he was in the preschool, observing him friom a corner ( with parents permission again)... on observing him was advised he went onto a sepcialist preschool that dealt with difficult children. I found out later that he came on in leaps and bounds and that was what he needed as the staff was one-to-one and all trainned in this area - which we was not.


not only that - you will get parents complaining after a while, if children are being hurt - it is not fair on the others or yourself


seek advice a.s.a.p.


hope this helps

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currently in this position - i am planning to talk to parents, explaining that the behaviour will have an impact on the child's cricle of friends or lack of. Try and ascertain why he is like this with parents help, explain that it is not ok to hurt other children as is currently happening. he is very young and behaviour programmes (IEPs etc) are unlikely to have an impact at this young age.


I have found a good website which talks about the six stages in managing conflict resolution (search using the following key words - betsy evans conflict resolution) its a high scope theory which research shows is proving very good.


also there is currently a DfES reserch report 524 - titled 'support from the start' again use those words for a search but beware its a large file - this is a very scary document as it looks at the risk/protective factors of children who are displaying concerning behaviours very very interesting - the risks carry a heavy burden of later offending and anti-social behaviour.


currently I am doing my best to keep this little boy in the setting - as a rejection or exclusion will not do him any good - he needs consistency and a caring environment


all i can say is that there is no quick fix - it is a process

rejection through exclusion sends very powerful messages to children and to their parents although i understand youre concerns about other parents and their children - but staff need to ensure that this is managed - other children are kept safe and this child is supported.


a suggestion is that you could observe the child (which is my next plan) and look for triggers - what is the cause of the behaviour and can the trigger be changed / removed etc


Have you ever just sat and purely observed - this may highlight why the behaviours are happening


are youre resources interesting and adequate

are adults interacting and giving positive praise to children

are they working consistently to the same goals

is youre routine appropriate to the age and developmental stage of the children

are your expectations to high or too low


Just some thoughts and ideas

have just arrived back from a seminar in London delivered by Jennie Lindon

i would highly recommend listening to her if you ever have the chance

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Guest AllyB

Thanks for the great advice will observe and attept to contact outside assistance! He does have siblings, 2 brothers one who is about 9 and one who is 2. Mum says his behaviour is pretty much the same at home, he ignores her most of the time. But like I said she is trying and helping us the best she can!

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JacquiD would be very intereseted in having outline from your training....


Our Accreditation mentor said 'all settings have one' xD


We do too and are just getting H.V involved now after struggling with mum who says 'well hes only just 3' :o

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I am just in the process of typing up notes from jennie lindon and also have power point presentation we have put together 'encouraging positive behaviour in the early years'


pm me with an e-mail if you would like the information

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I am working with a little lad at present who is very competent in CLL, also MD, but delayed on the PD side. Also, his social skills are nil. I raised it with our EY mentor (the setting had already tried via SENCO, who said there is no problem). The EY mentor suggests mother takes child back to GP for investigation of food intolerances (e.g. dairy, gluten).


Funny thing is, this child is tremendous 1-1 with me (all the other staff hate him, because he dribbles and he spits, and he is aggressive). Personally, I find that he is so communicative that he is a joy to be with. Collectively, we are saying he really needs 1-1 for safety reasons. In my opinion, he needs 1-1 for his own benefit first and foremost.


Why is it so difficult to get these sorts of problems sorted? Why do practitioners act in such a discrimintaory manner (if the child had a label, they would be showing a unified front)?



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