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Difficult Parents


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Does anyone have this problem...? We have a parent who constantly brings her child in 15-30 minutes late. We have usually finished registration and are ploughing through news/interest table etc. The aforesaid mother knocks on our door, a member of staff gets up and lets her in then while she is helping her child get her indoor shoes on, the younger sibling wanders around playing with all the things that have been put out. Then the child starts crying at the prospect of her mother leaving, mother hovers around for a bit longer then when she finally goes the child cries for at least half an hour and on and off throughout the day. At the end of the sessions the mother turns up when the other mum's are walking out the door. Then she lets the younger sibling play in the home corner and just hovers around letting both children play, when we really need to get tidied up etc. We pride ourselves on being very friendly within our group, have great parental back-up (we are in a small village and people seem to pull together) but we have sent out endless letters generally asking parents to drop off and collect on time but this particular mum doesnt seem to take any notice!!! I am an assistant and i mentioned it to my supervisor yesterday. she says she'll have a word. But i cant help thinking that if the child is brought in at the same time as the other children, and can see them happily leaving their parents she may possibly see that its a safe thing to do and let her mum go too. She never gets to see the other children kiss their mum's goodbye and settle down. This Mum is quite 'delicate' and has been known to cry because her child is crying!

Tracy :o

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Tracy,

 

I can really sympathise with you on this one. :o I run a small rural playgroup and parents are really easy come easy go when it comes to bringing and picking up their children. Despite asking them (extremely nicely :) ) not to bring their children before 9.10 (we start at 9.15) several of the mums arrive regularly at 9 or just after. I find this really difficult as at this stage I am still trying to set out the activities and like to be able to greet the children properly when they arrive. I have brought it up at committee meetings but these mums are on the committee and think they are exempt from the rules!! :( Then another handful regularly arrive late (anything from 10-30 minutes). As I work on my own with one duty helper this is really disruptive, particularly if the child requires my attention when their mum leaves. I would certainly like to know what others do to combat this without appearing unsympathetic or unwelcoming to the parents. xD

 

Thinking about your particular mum and her 'delicate' nature, perhaps she is also shy of mixing with the other mums which is why she waits until the coast is clear, so to speak. Do you know if she has many friends in the village? It can be quite isolating to live in a close knit community and not feel a part of it.

 

:)

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Hi Tracey

 

I think every group can sympathise with this....we all have one....

The only thing you can do apart from chatting to mum is to say its simpler to bring in the child at the same time as the others so they do not feel isolated when everyone else is in full swing playing by the time they arrive so that they do not feel different... is too as we do put up posters about times and put reminders in newsletters...

We have also recently put out a letter saying if any parent/carer is over 20 minutes late without good reason or phone call they will be charged £5 per 15 minutes and if staff have to leave then social services will be called.

 

We find the end of terms especially xmas for some reason lots of parents arrive late and unfortunatly just have deal with it!!!! :o

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Yep this really is a difficult issue, but you really do need the back up of management to address this issue. By the way I too have used the threat of calling social services, but on the one or two occasions children have not been collected the simple fact is ( in London anyway) social services are not interested and are only likely to take a child after 10 pm at night!

 

It is always advisable to talk to the parent about why they find it so difficult to arrive on time - there may be underlying reasons which also need to be explored.

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Hi

Yes I do think that 'mum' has a problem with the other mums, but according to my supervisor she has recently fallen out with one mum and maybe this is why she comes in late (to avoid the other mums). Shame really because if she doesnt get over her lack of confidence within the group she will almost definately pass it onto her daughter. I was a mum at out pre-school before I worked there, came into the village, didnt know a soul but I actually found everyone warm, kind and very helpful. I've never been the sort to get in to a 'clique', I really dont like the little group thing that you get outside school, but by just being friendly and asking if other children would like to come and play with my son, you soon get to know everyone. I really think that anything we try to do to help our 'delicate' mum is going to fall on deaf ears.

 

Tracy :o

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