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Hi all

can you help? We have a little girl coming into nursery who is extremely reluctant to give up her dummies... unfortunately in the plural :o

 

The other day when she came for a visit she had one in her mouth and one in her hand. Mum said that she has a paddy when she tries to get her to give it up. Obviously I dont want to encourage dummies in nursery... personal bug bear of mine. There was a great article in Nursery World last month too which has strengthed my resolve about the harm beyond the first year of dummy use. Anyway, has anyone had experience of this? The first day is so important and just don't want her coming in thinking that the dummy is going to stay in Nursery... am being mean? Please help

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Off the top of my head, I guess it depends on how old the little girl is and what her level of understanding is - can she be reasoned with?

 

If you can show her over a period of time that other children in her room don't have dummies all the time, you could allow her to have them at a given time i.e. sleep time.

 

Certainly don't allow her to talk to children or staff with her dummy in - she'll soon realise that she has to take it out to communicate.

 

I would also work with the parents on devising a strategy with rewards for her not having the dummy, but those at home have to implement the same strategy or it won't work.

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I also hate dummies. :o

 

However we do have to respect parents wishes. If she wants her child to have it and if its something she needs to help her settle in then she needs to keep it for a while (unless it states in you policies that dummies are not welcome!)

 

We also have children who come in with dummies, we slowly manage to get it off them by telling them We need to take it out so that we can hear them talk etc. When they also see that other children aren't having them they are soon happy to give them up.

 

It's so annoying to see that we have worked really hard to get this dummy out of said childs mouth for the duration of the session only to find on arrival of parents they open the bag and shove the damn thing back in childs mouth!!!

 

We did have a child once who became a 'big boy' and posted it to Santa for him to keep.

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My oldest son had 2 dummies, one in his mouth one in his hand, the youngest had one in his mouth and a piece of lace to rub on his cheek.

I personnaly dont mind them if thats the childs prefered comfort. Obviously if the child is trying to talk and it impedes my understanding I ask them to remove it but I hate to see a child who is always asking for it only to be told 'we dont have dummies at nursery', although I conceed that I will try distraction tactics if I know the child well enough.

Both of mine gave their dummies to Father Christmas and the birthday fairy but at 3 yrs old I firmly believe I took the youngest ones off him too soon for him.

I would also hate to take my child anywhere where they didnt allow dummies, it's their choice and most will give it up at around 3 or 4 anyway.

I really think there are too many pressures on little children already and they should be allowed to have a comfort if they need it.

I never stopped a child having a dummy at playgroup if thats what mom and the child wanted. :o

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I think a 'softly softly' approach might be advisable. 1st get to know the child, gain their trust and help them to settle in, whilst assessing how much of a need they have for their dummy. Then and only then work out a way forward. The method will vary from child to child. Sometimes the story 'the last noo noo' works, sometimes keeping it in their coat pocket until they need it is the only way.... be led by the child and the family and be flexible. Whilst I totally agree with the argument against dummies and have seen all too often the detrimental effects we need to respect the parents and work with them.

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we have found making an issue of no dummies at preschool hampers the settling in process

 

We tend to let children bring dummies and then as the child settles we wean them off dummy sucking during sessions, first we say "i cannt hear what your saying why dont you put your dummy in your pocket so you know where it is when you need it"

then we encourage then to put it in their coat pocket at the start of session and eventually giving it to mum to take home to keep safe this tends to work over the course of a term or so but we dont make an issue over it some children take longer some only ever get as far as putting it in their pocket

 

yes its frustrating that when parents collect their children the first thing they do is give the dummy back but at least that child has spent a morning with out it and over time they will become less dependent on the dummy and more secure in their environment

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Hi all

We dont allow dummies in pre-school. We ask parents to bring a favourite toy or blanket. I can see why a lot of you see the benefits of allowing them but i have not had any problems by not using them. I need to add i am a sessional pre-school I dont have children all day.

 

With my own children they use to only have them when they slept. I was able to get rid of them before they were two. I must have just been very lucky as i didn't have any problems with them giving them up.

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Ive not got a problem with dummies either.....we had a little girl who started last year and always had her dummy with her. Over time when she had gained her confidence is us we worked with Mum & child to reduce the 'dummy time'...it was always in her bag on her coat peg so she knew she could get it. With a lot of interesting activities of offer she soon forgot all about it and now doesn't even have one.

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thanks everyone for all your advice. It certainly is food for thought and I think I might have to go with the gentle withdrawel approach. We are a school nursery and the said child is just over 3 years. I like the idea of an alternative comforter say a toy or blanket. i had a dummy that my gran dipped into rosehip syrup :o i ended up with milk teeth like a piano keyboard tee hee... anyway i was eventually given a blanket with a silky edge and to this very day loved being comforted by anything silky... but hey that's another story altogether and possibly not one for a family orientated website such as this :(

I will let you know how we all get on xD

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Guest MaryEMac

We haven't had any problems with children wanting to have dummies in playgroup. Some have brought them and kept them in their bags. One child used to have his dummy before the session and whenever I came into view he would quickly throw it at his mum. He thought that if I saw him with the dummy then I would think that he wasn't big enough to come to playgroup. This even happened whenever they drove past me in the street!! Just shows what influence we hold over these children, doesn't it? :oxD

 

Mary

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There is a good storybook you could try called 'The last Noo Noo'. This is about a little monster giving up dummies. Could get some of the other children to talk about their dummies and how they gave up?

 

Teri

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