Help, Don't Know If I Can Carry On Teaching

[Clairelu]

Hi all,

 

Having a major crisis about my ability to teaching. I came into teaching after working in various other businesses and have been struggling with the change since my PGCE. I did a term of supply once I finished my course and enjoyed the opportunity to work in different places with out the stress of planning. I managed to get a job and have now finished my NQT year as a Reception teacher.

 

Unfortunately, I am permanently exhausted, find it difficult to get a full nights sleep, find it difficult to even vaguely get my work done in the time I have at school and am too tired to do much in the evenings/weekends. On top of that I have very little support in school as the Foundation Stage Co-ordinator is a very overworked Deputy Head and the Head has no understanding of Early Years and changes the goal posts regarding how we should work at a whim.

 

My biggest worry is that I am finding it difficult to control a really boistrous class and due to extreme tiredness any patience I had has evaporated and I am getting really cross with them. I don't know what to do and every time I think about doing planning etc at the weekend I start to feel anxious as there is so much to do and I am always behind. I just want to have my life back but feel really guilty that I don't want to devote all my waking hours to teaching. Other people seem to manage without getting so stressed, maybe I am just not cut out for this proffession.

 

Just needed to get this off my chest,

Claire

[Guest]

You sound really stressed, and that is not good for you at all.

 

I left teaching for much the same reasons, having only ever worked in one school. I now truly believe that it was the school, as I now miss it and am considering returning (I will settle down one day!!).

 

The fact that you did a term's supply and loved it, is all credit to you. Supply work is extremely hard in a school, especially when you are new to the job - so you really shouldn't be doubting yourself.

 

I'm not sure what the answer is, as only you can work that out, but I do know that life is too short, and work takes up such a lot of your time as it is, without impingeing on your sleep and social life.

 

If you're not getting the support where you are, then perhaps you need to start looking elsewhere. Sometimes it helps just to browse the job pages each week!! x

[Guest]

Hi Claire

Firstly-never feel guilty about not spending every waking moment dedicated to your job. You need to have your own life. So perhaps this is where it is going wrong for you. You are wasting time worrying too much and so don't seem to be getting anything done.

Perhaps you need to sit yourself down and work out how you can organise your time-with priorities set down in black and white. Look at them realistically. Can you do them all? If not, and you probably won't be able to, which are the most important-including having some time for yourself. Do what you can and those you can't can wait.

I am hopeless at organising myself and find I waste a lot of time and put a lot of pressure on myself because of this. Is this the same for you?

And we all lose patience from time to time so don't worry about it. You are a human being after all.

And obviously the reason you are not sleeping is because you are over anxious. Try some calming exercises before bed or listen to relaxation music. I find this helps me from time to time. But above all don't feel you have to do it all and be super teacher-you will end up giving it all up when you probably could really enjoy it or even worse you will be ill.

Come on here and rant and get things off your chest-it does help.

Linda

[Guest]

Hi Claire,

I wish I could give you magic answer but I am not sure there is one! (Great help I know) BUT... a few things;

 

1. Remember you can only do one thing at one time (this mantra has really helped me over the years - and is abit like the advice above - stuff lots of things)

2. Is there an LEA advisor you can talk to - may be your school is putting too much pressure on you? OR your Union may have some helpful advice.

3. Maybe I shouldn't confide this BUT I don't really do any planning - I do spend time on school things like making resources and thinking thr' new lesson plans but I find too much planning a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME so I don't do very much of it at all.

 

Don't despair but I would try to seek some sort of help/support.

 

Good luck, kindest thoughts are with you (and a hug)!

[Guest]

Poor you, I bet you felt better after a rant. It's really sad that you are not enjoying you job at the moment but the little ones can be very demanding at times and certainly my lot seemed to have kicked in a lot earlier this year with challenging things.

I agree with Bungalow, I do some base planning but with the best will in the world you can bet that the children will take it somewhere else and we are told that we should go with that -so apart from drawing up an outline for the activities each week and what stepping stones we are trying to achieve them as far as I am concerned this is ok, I tend to react to things that happen during the day and can adapt with the childrens learning.

I know you say the FS Co-ordinator is busy but perhaps sharing your concerns might help - she might think that you are coping brilliantly as evrything is going so well that maybe she feels there is no need to have a chat. But I would ask her for her help, she might just be able to give you a few pointers, afterall she knows the children/setup. You may find she feels completely the same way and you two can work something out together.

It feels horrible when everything is happening all at one and you are feeling out of control - I know that feeling and its not a nice place to be.

Make time for yourself. For instance if your planning is not ready for Monday morning - are the children/parents going to know the difference - no of course not - but you will still give them an education and it might mean that you can actually enjoy it as well as the children

[Guest]

Hi Claire

 

sorry to hear you're feeling so bogged down by it all.

 

I agree totally with other advice - prioritising is essential but know from experience how difficult this is when you're feeling stressed.

 

I would like to suggest that we all get stressed by this job from time to time - I've been doing it for 10 years and like to think I do it pretty well but still have times when I get majorly stressed out by it all. Those people who don't appear to ever get stressed probably just hide it better.

 

Out of interest which year group does your FS coordinator teach? is there another teacher in FS who you could share planning with? or perhaps the person who was your NQT mentor would be available to chat things through with. Although I'm guessing if there was someone who you could go to you already would have done.

 

This forum is enourmously supportive so why not use the wealth of resources/knowledge and add a post about planning to see what ideas others have instead of sitting thinking about it on your own.

 

Take care

nsunshine x

[Susan]

Hi Claire, sorry to hear things are so bad for you at the moment. I think we have probably all been there to some degree or another and you have had some good advice so far.

 

If you really cant cope then do take some time out for yourself, struggling on will only send you to breaking point. There's only a week now til half term unless you are in an LEA where the break is later but make sure you have some time to yourself then and so something for you.

 

Think about what you need to do and what you want to do, where are the overlaps, can you start there? You probably need to do some planning, unlike Bungalow! but look at the detail you are planning in and try and cut it down. I find if I have over planed I dont do half of it but if I have a rough outline, I am far more likely to be successful and to teach it better! This in itself will help your behaviour issues but I would advise there that you step back a little from your curriculum requirements and focus on the behaviour and re establishing your class rules etc with circle time activities and having some fun. This will pay off as you will have control again and learning will be more meaningful. If you are in a school that requires you to assess next week, keep it short and sharp and in between those other activities.

 

Dont make lists of things you havent done, concentrate on the positives for your self too.

 

If you have successfully done some supply teaching then I would suggest that it is not teaching that is the problem but rather the situation. You do need some support in school even if it is another member of staff but I would try and talk to your coordinator as they do need to be aware of how you feel.

 

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

[Guest]

I'm really sorry to hear you're having a bad time of it; as Susan says though, we've all been there!

 

In my short teaching experience, it seems to me that schools vary enormously in what is expected of the teaching staff. In my first school, where I trained (GTP) then had a terms work, most teachers were in before 8a.m. and didn't leave until gone 5 - personally I got in around 8.15 then left between 5 and 6. At my next school, people tended to get in around 8.15 and left on average I guess around 4.30 and at my current school teachers tend to arrive towards 8.30 and leave between 4 and 4.30. I am led to believe that they don't then go home and spend hours doing school work. Our head has fairly detailed copies of med term planning at the beginning of the term (not num or lit) then week to week planning is done on an individual basis, but is really only num and lit and adjustments to other subjects. This means I get all my planning done during my PPA time, assuming I'm not doing other stuff. I don't know how you currently work things, but could you dedicate some time either during hols or at the beginning of a term to produce fairly detailed plans (or at least ideas to work from, with ideas for activities and hilighted objectives) then work primarily from these through the term?

 

I really think you need to re-think giving up teaching. As a first port of call, try speaking to someone and let them know how stressed you are: as you've said, it doesn't do the children any good, let alone you. Someone's already suggested an LEA advisor; why not try visiting some classes led by leading teachers and discuss your concerns with them; I'm sure they'd gladly share some tips. Finally, if all else fails (and frankly even if it doesn't) dip your toe in to the sits vacant and see what's out there. I think you adjust to the mentality of the school/staff you're with; I started my career working long hours, and whilst it's a habit that's hard to break, I do find if you're the only one still at school after 5 every night, you soon find yourself thinking 'sod it! What's not done can wait.'

 

I hope you sort things out. Half term is nearly here, so focus on that, then if need be, spend some time re-organising how you do things to make it work for you.

[mundia]

Hi Clare. I went through this crisis of ability a few years ago now when i worked in the school from hell and Im sure it happens to most of us at some point in our careers. What I didnt realise at the time was that I was struggling on despite having ME, and in the end became too ill to work. I left the school, took 6 months out altogether and really did the soul searching I needed to before going back to work part time, which is much better for me. If you are really feeling completely wiped out, a trip to your GP may not be a bad idea, at least they can rule out possible underlying causes.

 

If you really feel that things are down to the school, then you may need to consider if its time to look for another job. Schools do vary considerably, and you may find yourself very much happier in another situation.

 

Do you do anything for relaxation eg ht bath, sport, curling up with a good book etc? I do tai chi and I can honestly say that I have the best nights sleep of the week when Ive been to class. I also garden and find time spent in the garden very relaxing. Certainly sleeping better may well help you to cope better.

 

With regard to planning etc, the advice already given is very good, but don't beat yourself up about the things you haven't done. Im sure every one of us gets to the end of the day and says well I didn't do abcd today..thast the nature of the beast.

 

Hopefully you have half term coming up soon. I hope that gives you chance to recharge those batteries.

[Guest]

Hi Claire

I echo all of the above about taking time for yourself and setting realistic targets. Like others have said, I keep my planning to a minimum and probably spend only a couple of hours a week on it. As long as your planning works for you there is no one right way of doing it.

Have you tried different strategies for controlling your class? I find that if I drop my voice to barely a whisper the children behave much better and they have to be quieter in order to hear me! We also work on a class reward system (I think someone may have posted on this recently, if I remember correctly) - in our case we collect stickers and when the target is met we have a class treat (a popcorn party last time, which was great because the children were able to learn all about how popcorn changes when cooked at the same time ). I also find praising the good behaviour is very effective in helping to remind the children what they should be doing. Likewise, telling the children in advance what I am looking for in terms of their behaviour is also good.

Hope I'm not teaching you to suck eggs!

Try not to stress and please post again if we can help further - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

 

Good luck

Fox xx

[Clairelu]

Thanks everyone for all your replies. It really helps to off load my concerns and get some feed back. I have tried to do more things socially this year as I totally lost my life last year, I take an Italian class and tend to have lots of things on at the weekend. I am still finding it difficult to completely relax and I think it is partly because I live on my own and don't have that interaction with another person everyday when I leave work.

 

I think I have decided I need to work in another school before making any major decisions, there are so many things in the current place that makes my life more difficult than it needs to be. Just as an example; all children have to change into plimsols everytime they are in school which means up to 6 shoe changes a day, assembly for whole school every morning meaning all the kids are beyond their sitting and listening point before we even start, no cordoned off outdoor space and nothing left outside permanently due to vandalism. We also don't have a Nursery class so there is no other FS teacher to work with and I know from previous experience I work much better in a team environment where ideas can be bounced around and discussed.

 

It really, really helps to hear all your feedback and it does help me see things more clearly and know that I am not the only one going through this.

[Marion]

Im going to repeat what has already been said WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE ..........honestly!

Have you spoken to the head or deputy head about how you are feeling? In my 2nd year I had the class from hell (had thought that it couldnt get worse than my first class but it did) I went to my head who listened to me and gave me a TA for part of the day. He had said to her it must be bad because Marion never complains

Guess Im saying is if they dont know how you are feeling they cant support you

[Guest]

Shoe changes are a nightmare at the best of times! Why on earth do you have to do this??

[Guest]

I agree 6 shoe changes a day seems a bit excessive and I don't think whole class assembly every day is particularly of benefit for the little ones - once a week would be fine - but thats only my opnion.

Keep up the good work

Nikki

[cathyuhu]

As everyone has said we have all been there, its horrible but i'm sure you can work through it...i'm doing my first year in reception after teaching in various ks1 classes and I have found it soooo hard!! I go into school for 7.30 am to set everything up, I don't leave until gone 6pm which my fiance gets annoyed at as he finishes at 4.30 (lucky wotsit!) everyone has Ofsted fever as its looming (my feelings are if you know your doing a good job then so be it!) but everyone else stressing makes me stress...I'm working with the nursery nurse from hell whose whole principle in life is to undermine and critisise my every move...i'm trying to plan my wedding for next year and can't match up dates between churches and venues ...i've made myself come home early today as I have to go back for parents evening 6 till 8..i just feel like everyday is Ground Hog day....roll on half term!!!!