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I have been struggling in my setting for a while (I may of mentioned a couple of times!) basically the management structure changed in September with three members of staff becoming managers, me being one of them, I am finding it difficult to fit in as the other two colleagues are best friends and I am out on a limb (too many chiefs situation, and the other tow are often doing things I haven't been made aware of, yet there are lovely ladies and I don't think they realise how much they are blocking me out, have tried to mention it but they were quite offended)


- I keep trying to be positive but have kept an eye out for another position, I really would prefer a deputy role or even a nursery assistant role whilst I am studying (FD), alongside the general running of the nursery where I am there are many other grievances, I am not desperately unhappy as I love the children and the girls I work with are really lovely, it just doesn't feel right and I feel I have to leave and find something else, I have been at the nursery for 5 years, I dread going in ??


thing is ....right now I feel like handing my month's notice in and going like mad to find a job, if I don't then I could volunteer somewhere, or am I silly to give up employment and will it look bad to employers that I have left without finding a job?


I have been holding on and on and I feel it is getting me down now, HELP, should I leave and hope for the best or should I stick it out until something turns up???


Awaiting the words of wisdom,


sorry to only post when I need help but you have been so kind to me in making decisions before,

thanking you all in advance, honesty appreciated.

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Oh gosh, how awful for you. I really do sympathise with you. We spend so much of our lives at work, and most of our sleepless nights are over work - it's awful when you you don't even want to go in.


If it was me then I would start looking for something else (but that's me). Only you can know how you feel - and if it's not right - it's not right.


The management structure certainly sounds like an unusual one.


Whatever you decide you'll be supported along the way. You won't be looked badly upon at all.


Thinking of you x

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Hi Shirel, what a difficult decision but if financially you can afford a break then I think for your sanity you need to do that.

I dont know what work and agencies are like in your area but you can always do supply and that will give you a good range of experience and opportunity to get the feel of other settings.

I am sure that you will find it easier to make the next step when you are happy and confident and not desperate to escape! Good luck with what ever you decide.

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yes i would do that - if you can, financially, give your notice in,a weight will lift from your shoulders,but if you cant then stay on while you look.I dont think it will matter to much about you leaving you could say you did it to give yourself time to look properly.Just think of the christmas you will have if you do it now!!!(again financially permitting)Good luck :)

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Hi Shirel, I agree with the others, if you are alright financially I should hand in your notice. If you don't do it now then end up still wanting to leave next term you are stuck there until February. If you are unhappy you will just get more stressed the longer you stay there. (I've been there and done it). If you've got children and are studying I don't think employers are too worried about a career break - you are showing you are motivated by studying. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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Hi Shirel!


Long time no hear! Although it is sad to hear from you when things are clearly getting you down so much.


I'm of the opinion that if you are not happy in your job, then the children will sense it and you may not be able to work to the best of your ability. If I was in your position, I would stick it out, but have a look around and see what else is out there. I would do this for the following reasons:


1. Your FD. As Beth will tell you, you need to do so many work hours each week to meet the necessary hours. If you leave, how long will you have before college start coming down on you? On the other side of that, it would be a good time to concentrate on some of your college work (if you are struggling with it all, which I'm not suggesting you are!).


2. Obviously money! You should think about whether you will get another job soon, if financially it is going to be a worry.


Could you not maybe ask your colleagues to 'drop dpwn' from being within the management team to maybe taking a deputy role? That way, you wouldn't have to leave your current setting and all the positives that you have mentioned, but also, if you're already being left out of management decisions, it wouldn't be too much of an issue?


I personally would stick it out whilst looking for something alternative, purely to keep my hours going. When I left the pre-school, I had a new job to go to within 5 days, but it was stressful organising things, especially as I needed a position whereby I could bring Natalie too.


Good luck and let us know what happens x

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Speaking from my experences, this time last year I was having lots of trouble with my manager. I decdied to hang on a bit longer, but by the time I had been downstairs a year to the exacted date I handed in my notce, things came to a head in Jan 06. I left the job without a another job to go to. I got told I could claim for Jobseekers, I did not have any trouble with it. After that I had no trouble finding my Sure Start job a couple of months down the line.


Ok since Feb 06 I have struggled to get a job, I have mostly worked on supply and for a short while with a Sure Start Programme. I am now financially in trouble. :o I still feel that its the best thing I ever did. I managed to get on the FDey course, which if I would have stayed I would certanly not be on today! xD


So my advice is that if you are financially sound go ahead and leave. BUT make sure you have a voluntary placement for you course. I have noticed in the last couple of weeks since I started my voluntary placement, I have been getting more interest from employers, well until I mention I need a day off per week for college course. Me thinks nursery mangers are scared of me I'm too good at my job and by the end of April 07 I will have all the neccsarry information, knowladge from Personal Development and Mangament 1 Module to become a nursery manager!!!! :(


Shirel are you having luck with getting interviews from application forms? I found a sound proof way to finding interviews from my application forms having had some help from my learning mentor a few months ago. I have also redone my C.V. which now sees me getting lots of interviews. If you need help send me an PM and I will try to help you. :D


Good luck whatever you decide, let us know the outcome. :wacko:


Thinking of you with a big virual hug. ((((((())))))))







Thanks Clare I wonder why my ears were burning!!!! :(:(


Your not kidding when you mention college and working hours, boy have I had a whale of a time. I'm still struggling to make my hours up, every other week I need to sign on so I lose an hour, oh well only 2 more to go before christmas and hopefully then on the other weeks I will start to make up my hours needed for college. I am loving my new placement, just a shame it's not paid employment. But yet again now I have a placement I have ended up getting interviews for jobs!!!! xD :rolleyes:




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What is the structure and who do you report to. is my first question? What type of setting is it and how big? Do you each have different responsibilities for different areas. Presumably you report through to someone.


I think it is really important to create a non-hierarichal (scuse spelling) structure as it spreads the workload and creates more of a team but this does not seem to be managed properly. You presumably were promoted to manager by someone who thought you could do the job, you have been there 5 years and therefore should know lots about the strengths and weaknesses of the nursery but you do need to be kept in the loop and it is disheatening if things hanppen where you cannot have your say. If this situation is to work you should all be working together. Do you have the opportunity of getting together formally to discuss management issues where you can all talk about all the things that are happening in the nursery.


You could take one of two actions, leave or try and work out how you are going to deal with the situation, as I am sure you will find it really rewarding. Perhpas you have ideas of your own that you would like to implement, maybe this might be an opening for discussion with them. I know you are feeling unhappy and you have voiced this here on the forum where it is impersonal, maybe you could try and talk to them again and express how you personally feel, make sure you have examples to support your feelings or maybe you can talk to your line Manager in this way. Think about how the situation might be remedied, would a weekly management meeting help, or different responsibilities or aresa of interest.


If you really think that none of this would help then I suggest that you begin looking for another job but I would not do anything in haste, take time, reflect on where you want to be and why and then look at how you are going to get there.



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Thank you all very much for your advice, as with all these types of work-related problems there are many other things going on and also I am loving every other aspect of my life, (5 kids, ponies, college course oh and husband) so I think maybe it is just time for something new, regardless 0f the situation I am in,

I am even feeling negative when I have had a good day - I feel I am a Deputy, a support, I am not a leader - maybe one day, but not at the moment, so I will look for a deputy position I think - also if I leave as Clare points out, it could mess up my funding, although I have thought I could afford to volunteer locally until something comes up?


Lots of thinking for me to do, when I posted last night I just wanted some empathy and wise words and that is what I got, thankyou all sooooo much, don't know what I would do without you all!!


Just to add the children would not sense any unhappiness from me at work, they are the one thing that always make work worth while and I loose myself when I am spending time with them, I wouldn't let my mood affect the way I look after the children, the same as at home with my own children, I think it would be unprofessional and definetly not me.

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Hi Shirel


Sorry to hear you're feeling so low. I think we know when something is not right and it is time for a change.


My feeling would be not to do anything in haste, I feel it is easier to get a job if you are in a job if at all possible.


Can you let your colleagues know how unhappy you are feeling in some way that doesn't make them defensive. Have you got anything to lose if you are looking for another job anyway, concentrating on how you are feeling not pointing the finger. You might be surprised, it could clear the air and they might take the opportunity to reflect on what they are doing and try to improve things. Am I too optimistic or naive!!!


We are a team of two supervisors and two deputies and it is sometimes difficult to keep everybody in the loop try as we may, occasionally one or other of us feels 'oh I didn't know that' but it's difficult sometimes with only working together one day a week. We have a diary to note daily goings on. Sometimes an idea comes up, is discussed by two people as a suggestion then taken to the others 'we thought it might be a good idea, what do you think' and it might seem like others aren't included.


By the way, know what you mean about knowing your strengths. I felt some years ago that I am a better deputy than a leader after my stint as chairperson. That is beginning to change, I have opportunities to lead and am learning through that process.


Good luck whatever you decide to do.

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