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A Bit Down


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I am having a bit of a bad day today and (sincere apologies!!) I need to get it out of my system.

 

I have been going to the gym now for two months, and considering I didn't 'do' exercise, I'm really pleased with myself. I go 4-5 times each week and do an hour and a half's exercise each time. I also go to a slimming group and the weight is refusing to leave :( .

 

Getting really fed up with it. It doesn't help that I slave over a hot stove to make nice healthy dinners for my lot, and then they turn their noses up at them. They've been told now that if they don't like what's on offer, they can sort themselves out, because I refuse to cook loads of different meals for everyone!

 

Added to that, my manager's job is due to end really soon now, although my interview is in 2 days' time. I'm stressy about that too which isn't helping. I seem to have developed insomnia again, as I attempted to sleep a while ago, and still nothing. Thought about going jogging ( xD ) but not sure if my body could take it. :o

 

To top it all off (I promise I'm nearly done!) I gad an asthma attack on Saturday night yet I still can't stop smoking. I've got the patches from the doctor and intended to try today but it says on the instructions that you can't use them until you wake up in the morning. As I haven't yet (nor am I likely to now) been to sleep, that was that little idea out of the window. :(

 

AAAAAHHHH! Anyway, I feel much better now! Thanks for letting me do that, hope you all have a good day! :D

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Sorry you are feeling down, sounds like you have a lot of stuff going on at the moment. Have you thought of trying hypnotherapy for the smoking. If you fancy it I can send you a CD to try just send me a pm.

 

In a rush at the moment but just wanted to respond to your message :)

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Hi Clare

You sound as if you needed to let off steam - so well done for sharing it - that's the first step to feeling better! Is there anywhere you could go for a walk with a good friend. I always find that whilst walking and chatting you can air off your worries and get the exercise too, plus it helps with the sleeping. Hope things start to look up for you - and don't forget we spend something like 99% of our time worrying over things which don't actually happen - so go for that interview on the strength of what you already know, and any areas you feel 'wobbly' about - tell them that you're always looking for ways to develop.

Enjoy the week - the suns promising to shine again!

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Poor you Clare, what a rubbish time your having at the moment....I have suffered badly with insomnia but at the moment I am OK, it is hard to deal with anything when you are soooo tired isn't it?

My docotr told me to jog, it supposed to be brilliant for low mood and insomnia, if only I could find a spare moment to run round the block, it is impossible to arrange that sort of thing isn't it, the gym-thing should be helping though?

As for the smoking that will come if you stick to it, it sounds as though you have soo much going on and what with that and being tired your maybe are tackling too much at once?

I think we all now how you feel, if that makes you feel any better, this site was a great help to me when I first started posting, I was really low, but I am now taking St Johns Wort and addicted to the Forum and it seems to be helping, don't loose heart - time will do its thing and you will soon be back to yourself, use the forum and we will support you as much as possible. :)

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Big hugs to you from me too.

 

As others have said, you do seem to be tackling quite a few things at the same time. Don't be so tough on yourself, I say.

 

You have a lot going on that maybe you don't feel in control of, Change of job, addiction ( being a smoker myself, I empathise completely), Kids, weight, Interview - no wonder your mind won't 'shut down' for sleep.

 

I'm half way through a book at the moment called "Stop Thinking, start Living, common sense strategies for discovering lifelong happiness", Basically it says that our thoughts are only thoughts, but they make us how we feel. It's not even about positive thinking because even doing this ( which isn't bad) it lets our thoughts control how we feel. The idea is quite deep and I haven't quite grasped it yet myself, but if we recognise that thoughts are only powerful in determining our moods if we continue to keep thinking ( unnessesary thoughts) then we should aim to stop thinking so much and just be.

One example in the book is about how young children playing enjoy the experience so much because they are not thinking ( visualise the group of children around the sand pit, just doing).

It says to be truly happy we can find our "Healthy functioning" ( not a useful term, I think) everyone has this inside them to find, it is innate, we were all born with it, as we get older we lose it, a state of being where thoughts are just thoughts, it is our peace of mind. We've all had experience of this, feeling everything is ok, like the time you just watch your children at play and nothing else matters.

So here's wishing you some "Just being" time, do some things that you are able to become totally engrossed in, ( give the brain a break) something just for you, a time when you are not "doing for others, or even doing for some perceived benefit to yourself, just being"

 

Peggy.

 

p.s. Well done on the cooking front, don't think about it or you may feel guilty, or angry because you had to make a stand etc, just "do" as you have said you will do, as your instincts have told you, it would be better for you and your kids.

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Oh gosh what a lot you are taking on. Don't go beating yourself up about it all as you really are trying to do lots of things at the same time and I know that sometimes this works because you have changed your routines. Going to the gym 4-5 times a week for 1 1/12 hours a time whilst admirable seems a lot when you haven't done lots of exercise for a long time - maybe you have gone into hyperdrive. As everyone else has said - take it easy - life is for living - you are too long dead - find things you really enjoy doing not because you feel you need to do them.

Nikki

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I wish they did a patch for trying to give up chocolate cos I desperately need one! And wine.

 

Some good advice already given, can sympathise over not being abe to sleep at times, why do we do it to ourselves, trying to be superwomen?

 

Have you tried lavender essential oil on your pillow? Helps me sometimes.

 

Try not to worry.

Deb

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Thanks Everyone for your kind words!

 

I'm feeling much better today, having managed to get 2 hours sleep (hurrah!!). Only downside was, I had to ring into work and let my boss know I was going to be late. Still, I had a good day at work today, everything seemed calm and relaxed.

 

The slimming thng has also gone well today. Went swimming with my best friend and we saw our old boss from the nursery we both used to work at. So done the exercise, eaten the right stuff, even the other half managed to try it and asked if I would make it again (homemade burgers and chips, doesn't sound too healthy, but I have my special 'skinny' recipes from my meetings!).

 

So all in all, a good day. Still on the cigarettes, but I'm sure I'll sort that little habit out soon! Feeling really tired now, so I am going to have another cigarette and then flop into bed with a James Patterson book!

 

Thanks again everyone!

 

Ps: I seemed to have gotten over my nerves about Thursday. Have a babysitter all sorted, now just need to sort out my outfit. A woman's work is never done eh? xD:o

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:) I'm glad you're feeling a bit better!

Your problems seem to echo my own, except you seem to be doing more about the weight thing than me!!

I have started smoking again!!!! Feel really guilty, but my mind is all over the place at the moment too. Only 3 weeks left at pre-school, no job to go to and trying to finalise everything with the new Supervisor.

I wish you well with your interview - I'm sure that once it's over, you'll be able to focus more on you - we should all try that!

 

Kymberley

 

Take care and sleep well! :o

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Good luck for tomorrow Clare - you deserve it :D .

 

I've had a rotten couple of days in work as well. My supervisor, who is leaving in 3 weeks, seems to be stirring up a hornets nest behind peoples backs. Fortunately we communicate and she isn't getting away with some of the lies that seem to be circulating xD . She seems to think the pre-school will go down the pan when she leaves and I take over :o . I have decided to hold my head up high with dignity, not be dragged down by her attitude and quietly go about my business. The rest of our team are very supportive but its so demoralising to work with someone you can't trust. All I can say is thank god for the children. They constantly remind us why we love working with them. The next 3 weeks can't go quickly enough for me!

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Well, went along to the interview yesterday. The directors were really friendly and asked me all about my experience, how I would deal with certain situations, parent/nursery relationships etc. The answers I gave I believed to be good, detailed, if a slight bit nervy!

 

Anyway, they seemed pleased, kept smiling and nodding, not to mention a few raised eye brows, especially when they asked about the standards and I was able to reel them all off (I surprised myself!). They said they would let me know today, but as yet, I haven't heard anything. I don't think I got the job though, as they claimed I hadn't mentioned Natalie in my application, and that I would need a place for her. They said they would have to think about it.

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Hi Clare

 

Fingers crossed for the job :D

 

Keep going with the weight loss, I've lost nearly 3 stone since January and have just been trying on some gorgeous dresses I've not been able to wear for 2 or 3 years - such a wonderful feeling :D Anyway I recommend Rosemary Conley's Slim and Salsacise DVD, its fab and fun, 30 mins and you are working your whole body.

 

I have had moments when I have thought stuff it, the weight won't shift, but I think it is just your body adjusting and I've kept going and has keeping moving slowly but surely. Also remember muscle weighs more than fat, so maybe you are loosing inches just not the pounds! :o

 

Jenny

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Hi Jenny!

 

I didn't know about the muscle thing weighing more than fat! But having said that, I am definately noticing a change... I've got boney bits now (collar bones!!!) which I haven't had for about 5 years! I told all my friends I wouldn't be happy until I had boney bits there, on my wrists and on my ankles!! Hurrah, it is definately working, just got to persevere I suppose. I really enjoy going to the gym so I know I'll keep it up, although I might have to invest in the DVD you mentioned!!

 

Oh and by the way.....

 

 

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am sooooo excited! They've sorted out a pattern for Natalie too, so we can both go. At least I can still go and do the foundation degree now I have a job to go to!

 

Thanks to everyone for all your kind words and reassurances and good luck messages! I'm going out celebrating later, so expect some drunken ramblings later on!!

 

Thank you all once again!

 

xxx

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CONGRATULATIONS CLARE!! :D:D That is fantastic news, so glad you will be doing the FD with me, and so glad you sound a lot happier, good for you on the weight front as well, you really are a multi-talented woman, hope the sleeping has got better too, once again well done. :):)

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Guest MaryEMac

Congratulations Clare, pleased to hear that you got the job. I'm also pleased that you sound so much happier. Well done. :D:D:D

 

Mary

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Thanks everyone! Well the intention was to go out and celebrate, but I am one of those sad cases that is glued to Big Brother at the moment, and as it was eviction night, I had to watch it :o ! So to make up for it, I shall be going out tonight instead! I'm looking after my parent's pub for the day so should be interesting!!

 

Thanks again for all your kind words and Shirel, I too am looking forward to chatting to you about the FD, especially as we will be 2 newbies!!

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Hi clare,

Hope things worked out for the better? Just read thro the previous thread and thought it might be comforting to know you are not alone! Desparately want to give up smoking, want an 'outside' life and feeling a little down etc.

Strategies I use on myself is exactly the same as on the dears that are upset visiting school for the first time. Going for walk, looking for something 'outside' that captures a distraction or beauty that cannot be denied. Although I still feel (won't say it!) it sort of helped me kick some life and reflection into my overall mood.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and taking time out isn't easy, but hang in there and I share the same frustrations on the healthy & smoking thing (easy to beat yourself up on as they don't go hand in hand with our jobs)

I think of doreen (?) in Nemo ....... just keep swimming, swimming..... you (me and others) will see the light ...... and it will be worthwhile. That I have belief in!

 

Lots of love Skylight

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Well done Clare

Give yourself a huge pat on the back, and give the new job all you've got. Things are looking brighter for you already.

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