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I need help!!! :o

I've got a child in my class who won't stop hitting other children. We have tried so many different things but now we are tearing our hair out because he just can't seem to help it. We want to stay positive but we just don't know how to stop him. I know that there aren't any magical answers but any ideas would be helpful to see if you there is anything new we can try.

Thank you


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Hi Trudie,

Have a similiar problem at the moment

Last week I hit on the idea of using 'I can' pictures (as in I can ask for help or I can listen) Every morning child draws a picture and we label it with a positive statement (as above, depending on issues highlighted the day before) This gives child some (vaguely) positive attention at the beginning of the day and also a point of reference during later incidents. It's obviously early days at the moment but he does enjoy the 1:1 drawing activity and chat with adult. He has been better this week, (incidents occur at end of morning/snack times or when he is asked to leave favourite activities so that's showing an interesting pattern that as reflective practitioners we will look at in the staff meeting(will probably blame myself and end up apologizing to child for my lack of prior understanding)

Also worth a chat with your Senco if you have'nt already

Love and commiserations


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I'm assuming you have done incident tracking (or whatever it's called!) when you observe the child and write down what happened before, during and after?

Is the child hungry or tired?

Is it worse on particular days (we have 2 children who are aggressive the day after they see their Dads on access days)

Does the child have limited language?


I am coming from nursery age but same principles I guess.


I used to Nanny for a girl with a tendency to hit out or throw tantrums and she had one particular teacher in year 3 if I remember rightly (so she had had years of this!) who was excellent at modelling and reinforcing appropriate behaviour. She had a kind of report book that went home every day but where others wrote only negative things she would just write 'Tired today so not the best day we've had' or similar BUT and this was what I found fab was she would write things like 'Today XYZ happened and A managed to cope with the situation without losing her temper.' She would actually sit down with A and congratulate her for not flying off the handle.

Another technique which we use is to give childrne the language they need... 'instead of hitting John you need to say I don't like it when you sit so close' or whatever.

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Yes, A does have limited language and he just can't express why he is getting so cross. Partly he wants to have his own way and be first in everything . We are working on his self esteem and have spent a lot of time with him but unfortunatley he can't have 1 to 1 as we don't have the funding for him!

Thank you for the idea of the drawing a picture first thing. I might use this idea as he arrives. He has a visual timetable so he knows what work jobs he is doing but not a visual PSHE reminder. You have got me thinking that maybe cards with approriate behaviour as visual clues may help. One of his problems is lining up or doing things where children get in his space. Maybe if he held a card with a visual reminder not to hit then that may work for him.

We seem to spend so much time talking and thinking and preparing for this child that it has got to the point when I'm beginning to feel it's unfair on all the others in the class. I don't want to give up on A, He desperately needs so much but I have got 29 other children to care and provide for.

Is anyone else in my situation as it can sometime get all a bit too much!!!


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