Guest Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Ok, so this is stolen from another forum I go on and it made me laugh so thought I'd share it with you lot. It's taken from a suppliment last week in one of the big newspapers. Seven years on, and the great Olympic day arrives..... Hugo Rifkind looks into the future to see how the London Games might open 2012, and the hot sun rose high in the air over the brand, spanking new Princess Diana Memorial Stadium in the Lower Lea Valley. It was always going to be a scorcher. Thanks to the failure of the 2005 G8 summit to reach a consensus on cutting CO2 emisions, it hadn't rained in England since July 2010. Up in the Royal Box, King William V and Queen Billie (his thrid wife) gave regal waves as the huge Olympic torch was lit. Huge plumes of black smoke wafted into the London sky. No sense in worrying about CO2 now. Behind them, the King Father and his consort the Duchess of Cornwall were also waving. But nobody noticed that. On a platform down on the staduim floor, Prime Minister Tony Blair stepped up to the podium. He moved well, all agreed, especially considering his advancing years, and the shocking Downing Street assassination attempt of 2008. Gordon would be watching on television, the Prime Minister knew. From his cell. Out in front, under a giant plasma screen, Charlotte, Princess of Wales (Church, as was), finished singing the Olympic anthem. The press had been esctatic when she had agreed to perform. Still, it was widely known that she and the King had parted on very good terms. Rumour had it that she too was soon to marry again, to a young girl called Jane. That had been legal since 2006. ''Ladies and gentlemen,'' the Prime Minister began. ''Much has changed since 2005, when we heard the games were coming to London.'' A murmur ran around the crowd. This was certainly true. Nobody could have forseen that London property prices were to become more expensive than their equivalent on the Moon. Nobody could have known that Dirty Den was to return to Eastenders, thrice. Nobody would have expeced that the Conservative Party, once again, would be led by Iain Duncan Smith. ''This is a proud day for us all,'' said the Prime Minister, and he shot a fond look towards his wife Cherie, the owner of Harrods, who was clinging to his arm. ''Only this morning, I was speaking to my good friend President Clinton. I was grateful for her time, considering the troubles our American friends have with the continued insurgencies in Iraq, Syria and France. Along with so many world leaders, she and Vice-President Clooney sent their best wishes.'' He flashed a dentured smile at the TV cameras. Not BBC cameras, of course. Sincethe charter renewal of 2007, the BBC had only been allowed to make reality programmes and documentaries about home improvement. If one strained hard enough, one could just make out the new Director General, Dame Davina McCall, two rows behind the King. Despite London's notorious transport problems, the staduim was packed. Some had walked for days to get here. Others had caught the brand-new donkey service from King's Cross, cutting their journey time to mere hours. The real blow, of course, had come in 2008, when the outgoing mayor Ken Livingstone had allowed every single London Underground station to be turned into a Starbucks. At the podium, the Prime Minister was still talking. He spoke of Great Britain's sporting heroes, past and present. Of Lord Coe, who had worked so hard. Of Dame Paula Radcliffe, whose public convenience company had provided every toilet in the Olympic viallge. ''On a partisan note,'' the Prime Minister concluded, ''I believe that this will be a great games for Britain. This time around, I have every hope that our gold medal tally will reach into double figures!'' The whole staduim cheered, yet many were laughing. Some hope of that. So much had changed, and yet so much remained the same. The Times, Thursday July 7 2005. Page 14, London 2012, 24 page special Quote
Guest Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Nichola!!! that made me smile-the frightening thing is that so much of it could be a reality! Let's hope it all turns out to be just a joke! Linda Quote
Guest Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Nichola!!! that made me smile-the frightening thing is that so much of it could be a reality! Let's hope it all turns out to be just a joke!Linda 34998[/snapback] Oh I know! Scary isn't it? I love the bit about Gordon watching from his Cell and also the King Wills and his many wives! Quote
Rea Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Very funny. We should print it off and save it till the day!! Quote
Guest Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Very funny. We should print it off and save it till the day!! 35003[/snapback] I have saved it onto my computer so will probably still be there in someway shape or form in 7 years time! Quote
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