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How Would You Deal With This?


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we have a little boy in our setting who shows some signs of behaviour difficulties he has been seen by the area senco who has advised his mum that she puts him in a differant setting becuase the little boys mum is a member of staff at our setting. the boys mum (my deputy) didnt want to take him aware else and left him still coming to us. the chair if fully aware of this and has a little boy the same age. the two children are best friends but the chair's little boy sometimes comes off worse because of his friends difficulties. after session today the chair rang me saying her son had a mark on his cheek and he said that the deputy son had done it. the child didnt inform a member of staff and a member of staff did not see anything happen. but in the phone call she did say that her son had a red mark on his cheek. she also said that his dad will be coming in tomorrow to pick him up because he is not happy. i dont think that there was anything thing that myself or the staff had done wrong obviously you cant see everything that happens.

i was wondering if anyone could give me a few pointers for dealing with this.

e.g. shall i do something like a post incident? should i contact the area senco again regarding said boys behaviour? i am really not sure as i am in a difficult position as it is between the chair and my deputy.

many thanks ( sorry it is such a long post)

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Guest Spiral

Hi there,

 

I certainly know the feeling, being stuck in between a rock and a hard place isn't nice. I certainly would recommend writing everything down and storing it in a place where it will remain confidential.

 

As you have said, you can't see everything and we all know that these things happen too.

 

Maybe the dad and the deputy feels it is awkward too and doesn't know what to do next? Are they friends out of the setting? If so would they be able to resolve this over a cuppa outside of the setting?

 

Best of luck,

 

Spiral

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thanks for fast reply i dont think they really see eye to eye at all apparently this isnt the first time this has happened and the chair has had enough of her son being hit and scratched etc i have only just moved to this setting so dont no exactly what has happened in the past but no behaviour log or similar has been kept. the family are quite "outgoing" and come across as very forceful so i am not looking forward to speaking to his dad tomorrow i cant ask for back either becuase of mixed intrest with deputy :o

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Guest Spiral

Maybe ask another member of staff to be near you when he comes in so they are prepared to support if necessary.

 

Documenting it is necessary as you know, I usually state that I will make notes and that they will be kept confidentially, but will be asking the parent to sign the bottom of the form before they leave...this also helps them to calm down as they know it is being recorded. If you state this is fully confidential and will only be accessible to yourself, Ofsted, Social Services then you should be covered.

 

If you have an angry parent, do not be alone with them. Stand your ground, be strong and act as if you are confident in your methods (even if you are shaking like a leaf!)

 

We're all here for you :-)

Spiral x

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You can't be sure the deputy's child actually did the hurt the chair's child, sometimes children accuse other children of things when they were not even in that day.

 

I would say to the parent that you will monitor the situation closely, recording ABC charts to see if there is a pattern, and to see if there is anything you can do to divert any problems, or change something in the environment that might be contributing to the behaviour, or seek further support. Would moving the child simply be moving the problem? Can you try as much as possible to ensure that someoneelse other than the deputy intervenes to support the child? We have the child of one of our members of staff in our setting and it can sometimes be very hard for her as a parent to see her child's challenging behaviour.

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I'm sure you already have, but I would make sure that I had spoken to all the members of staff that were on duty the day the 'incident' happened, just in case anyone has any more information, and to show you have fully investigated. As others have said, I certainly would not assume that this particular little boy was the culprit. However, I would also ensure that I was not too defensive, but emphathise (sp!) with dad. Also, having ensured that we were adhering to our 'behaviour policy', I would re-iterate points from the policy (which they would have a copy of) to the parents, to show that we were.

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thanks for all your replys you all have been really helpful. i spoken with the little boys dad today and he was fine.

thanks very much! :o

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