Sensitivity With Mothers/fathers Day

[Guest]

Hi everyone

After just completely gifts etc for Mothers Day, I began to wonder how I will deal with Fathers Day - in our group we have 2 children without Fathers. Last year this applied to one child, and he was happy to make a card for his Grandfather, but I was wondering what other settings do, becasue this year child is very sensitive about talking about his Dad, and I dont want to make things worse.

Any thoughts?

[Guest]

Hi Goldilocks,

We have the same problem and a worse, we have 6 children with absent fathers, 2 of them have died so we have to tread very carefully. What we do is talk about the dads, grandads, uncles, brothers etc who help, care and love them and then let them decide who they want to make their card to. We did have one incident last year the mum had big problem with dad and asked us not to make a fathers day card for him. I said in a senstitive and diplomatic way that this wasn't fair and the child had to choose, Mum took it quite well but then primed child to make a card for uncle instead.

So don't worry, carry on what you are doing but let parents know how you will handle it as they can worry more than you

 

Net xx

[Guest]

Hi, Thanks for this, we were having this conversation last week in our setting as we are an SCE setting serving the British forces in Germany we rarely come across one parent families, so it is a great help to read about some of the things that you are all discussing.

Tracie

[Inge]

we too discuss who else may be at home or a relative they can send the card to.. (if they cannot think of anyone we send it to mum!!)

 

we also have children without mums at home so do the same for mothers day.

 

 

 

Inge

[Guest]

Being a church school we talk about Mothering Sunday as opposed to Mother's Day, although we still make cards etc. However, we tend to ignore Father's Day for the reasons already mentioned.

[Guest]

We make cards for both days, each has "Love from " and the child's name so they can be used for anybody. We sometimes have Dads in the forces, these cards need to be made in plenty of time to be posted.

 

I was very touched today by two young boys who had brought their mothers day gifts to place on her grave, after they had gone I went over to take a look she was only 37, the boys had lovingly arranged her cards and poems, they then inspected the flowers they had planted for her, she was still an important part of they lives.

[Guest]

Thank you for sharing your story Mimi. Children can often be more sensitive and introspective than we give them credit for.

 

glmaidment - sorry to sound ignorant, but in what way do you describe Mothering Sunday to the children - I always thought of it as just a special day for Mums - I don't think I've ever thought about the religious origins of it.

 

G

[Gezabel]

glaidment I would be interested too, do you discuss the religious /historical aspect?

 

Isn't it something to do with it being the last Sunday in Lent and years ago churchogers who worked away from home returned once a year to their 'mother' church.

 

In the era when employment in domestic service was commonplace didn't it extend to the workers getting the day off to go home to visit their mothers?

 

 

Might be barking totally up the wrong tree here!!!!

[Sue R]

Not the LAST Sunday, surely!!!!! That would make Easter next week, and it's already early enought this year thank you!!

 

I think it's the middle sunday. Otherwise you echo what I had always believed,

 

Sue

[Susan]

Ive always stressed with the children that this is part of the church calendar and is a very old tradition. As opposed to fathers day, which is an invention of more recent years.

Many years ago I taught little girls whose mothers' had died and they made cards for their Nans. Dont remember it as being a problem and I never made cards en masse for Fathers Day!

[Guest]

Yes, as Susan says, Mothering Sunday is part of the church calendar and is always the 4th Sunday in Lent. As has already been said, it was the day that servants were allowed to visit their mothers.

 

See http://parish.ashtead.org/east04/mother.htm for a brief resume on origin.

 

Our children's mums received belated cards today, as we made them last Monday and then were closed from Wednesday until the end of the week because of the snow.

[Guest]

Hi

 

We also have children who don't have mothers however we addressed this problem by speaking directly to the parents about this issue explaining that we cover mothering Sunday and Fathers day. The parents were very understanding about it especially when we explained about children feeling left out or different.

 

As with Geraldine we put love from and the children sign their names and the card can then be given to anyone they want it too.

 

More important is that parents are asked what they would like us to do, so that we don't ride rough shot over them.

 

 

Carolann