Help - I'm Getting A Petition To Exclude A Child.

[Guest]

Thank you for all your great thoughts and feelings - Marion that's exactly what's happening here. We are only at the beginning of the cycle, having over the last three weeks observed the child for hours so we could complete a full action plan and give his parents an accurate picture of what is happening. We have been trying to find that "trigger" - so we can reduce his tension and stressful situations all of which can take a little time.

We have also ensured he has a member of staff working alongside him .

 

Greenteaaddict - yes the parent that is shouting the most has approached us before, but because I could not comply with her requset (she wanted her daughter in at different times to the little boy - he's in full time). She has found some allies to help her - she did warn me "i'll get my way - I don't want my daughter near him" and we spent a long time talking about childrens behaviours. Apparently schools don't have these sort of children! her daughter has the support of her key person when she may be near him, lunch (different tables) etc

 

At the committee meeting yesterday - after loads of work nothing arrived! - I think it has just been delayed rather than abandoned. But I am hoping if the parents have the weekend to think about their actions they may be ready to talk rather than demand.

 

On the brillant side my committee were appalled and were disgusted (I am delighted at this, because you can never be sure of their reactions).

 

thank you for all your great thought fortunatley I am a very calm and relaxed person, so by venting my anger here I can go back to setting and be a nice sweet person again.

 

Keep you updated

[Shiny]

Thanks for the update tess!!

[Beau]

Well at least now you are well prepared if it does arrive in the future. Perhaps they didn't get as much support as they'd hoped for!

[Guest]

Greenteaaddict - yes the parent that is shouting the most has approached us before, but because I could not comply with her requset (she wanted her daughter in at different times to the little boy - he's in full time). She has found some allies to help her - she did warn me "i'll get my way - I don't want my daughter near him" and we spent a long time talking about childrens behaviours. Apparently schools don't have these sort of children! her daughter has the support of her key person when she may be near him, lunch (different tables) etc

 

I don't think you can do much more than you are doing if this is the case. Perhaps she would be better removing her child if she has so little faith in you and your staff. Bet you would love to tell her that

[HappyMaz]

Perhaps she would be better removing her child if she has so little faith in you and your staff.

That is just what I was thinking, greenteaaddict! However unless the parents can be helped to understand the issues involved here, this can be a no-win situation. Keep us posted, tess!

 

Maz

[Guest]

I understand trekker, my comment was more in a general sense of how parents don't tend to recognise practitioners professionalism and many, but not all, practitioners, I think over the years have felt undermined due to receiving 'so much advice' etc.

I, myself have quoted 'Ofsted' on occasions, to 'back up' my stance on issues and any support from your FSA must be useful.

 

Peggy

[Guest]

Glad to hear the committee are singing from the same songsheet.

 

I too have experienced parents who demand action, or even taken action into their own hands. Unfortunately there are adult bullies out there. In my case the parent demanding exclusion of a boy who bit her son (twice in 3 weeks). She physically attacked the parent of the biter on arrival at school. I went to her house, in the evening to speak to dad too about their concerns (and her behaviour).

A week later the bully parent arrived in the morning, her son was crying, she demanded my immediatte attention and very loudly proclaimed that her son didn't want to attend anymore because he was scared. He had previously been very happy to attend, I calmed the situation and the boy stayed. During that day I was informed that the bully mum had actually smacked her son just before arriving 'to make him cry' .

He arrived the next day. crying, and again mum demanded exclusion of the biter, due to her sons distress. My calmness, I must admit waned, I said quite clearly that if she wasn't happy with how we were dealing with things that (and I quote) " I suggest you take your son elsewhere" (I must admit I couldn't believe what I was saying as I said it and don't condone it either). Her son stayed away for a week, then she came back and all was fine for about 4 months, the other child had also stopped biting. After 4 months, the bully parents child suddenly stopped attending, I then had a visit from Ofsted to investigate her complaint that I had 'caused psychological damage to her child.' Not a pleasent experience. I could only pressume it took the mother 4 months to find a place at another setting.

I explained to Ofsted that the boy had previously attended for 2 yrs, quite happily, until the MUM got upset (not the boy) about the biting incident. They were happy with our systems of dealing with biters etc, the only outcome was to update our complaints form, because the mum used an old format. :wacko:

and if I'm honest I was glad to see the back of her, however her son was a lovely boy, had been with us since age 2 and we really missed him.

 

Basically, what I am saying is that there are parents out there who can explode a minor incident completely out of proportion, it is these parents who are often demanding of attention, and I think, do not understand the implications and consequences of their actions. They are themselves 'needy' parents.

 

Peggy