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A Bit Of A Rant


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Hi all,

 

firstly huge apologies for not being around much recently. things have been very busy work wise.

 

I have now been managing my setting for 2 years two months and in that time have seen the nursery through two ofsted inspections, both good outcomes (and the most recent was very near outstanding). we have had new owners and children and staff leave and start.... so i guess a normal run of the mill life.

 

however about three months ago a decision that i made has led to some disrepute between the nursery and an ex-member of staff. the nursery owner supports me in the decision made, despite the consequences we are seeing now, however i am feeling so bad and about it all. (its hard to explain myself when i can't say too much here).

however i am left feeling that the situation we (as a nursery) are in is my fault. the owner is adamant it is not just my fault as she had part in the decision but i really can't get past feeling so bad.

i have spoke with the owner about my worries, but she tells me not to worry, believe me this is easier said than done.

 

i am good at the job. childcare is my knowledge base and in refelction of the ofsted reports and day to day life the fact that i can do my job is clear. however i feel totally unsure of my management abilities. and this scares me.

 

i explained to the nursery owner that i felt uneasy in my role and unable to make the correct decisions as a manager. the owner does not agree, she has said i need further training as a manager and i would totally agree with that. when i gained the role of manager i did not receive any induction. the nursery was undergoing a change in ownership and i received no management induction under the old ownership or the new ownership. felt like i was thrown in and excpected to swim... right now i am tired of swimming.... and really unsettled but don't know why totally.

 

don't get me wrong i absoloutly love working at the nursery and am very proud of it, my staff and the children.

 

but i feel a bit out of my depth and don't quite know why....

 

maybe i am just dispondant at present. i know i need my holiday (two weeks to go)....

 

anyhow, sorry, guess just wanted to write and seek some words of wisdom from the wiser one's here

 

thanks for reading.

 

Dawn

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You must be doing something right by your ofsted results, you should be very proud of what you have done, try to think of all the positive things you have done and stop dwelling on the negative, even the nursery owner said you are doing a good job, hopefully you can wether the storm and come out fighting the other side... we are all thinking of you. good luck.

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It is hard to forget or worry about the things that go slightly wrong but you are already making a great step forward by actually reflecting on what went on - try writing a bit more and evaluate why you did all those things that you did - you had good reason to do it, you had the support - sometimes it just helps to write things down as this will confirm that the decision you made was in the best interests. There will always be things that you might think you might do differently next time but that means you have already learnt from it and are moving forwrd. Don't beat yourself up - it's hard not to worry but what you cannot do is go back - no matter how hard you try so look forward you cannot change what's happened. You have had good Ofsted reports and sometimes you just have to do things that feel uncomfortable - its part of life unfortunately but you did it for all the right reasons.

Nikki

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I appreciate you cannot post details but I have to say that if you have the support of your owner you can't have done too wrong. I have had management situations at work which I still regret now some 2/3 years on. However I know in my heart that there was no other way of resolving the situation without change on the other person's part and that is something I cannot control. The more I reflect on the issues the more I feel the issue is down to my dislike of things ending on bad terms and that is something I have to deal with. However, I am coming to see the personal learning in these situations as more important than the regrets.

 

If you can access some management training I would do because I feel it may give you the opportunity to think these things through more fully and from there, move forward. In time I hope you will come to see them as learning situations and the hurt will die down as it is starting to do for me. Good luck.

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Hi Dawn,

 

I think you are quite right in identifying that the skills you have are based on 'childcare and education' rather than management. It is not nice to feel that you are constrained by your current knowledge and therefore unable to fulfil your role fully.

 

Now that you have identified there is a gap in your knowledge then be proactive! Get some training as soon as possible. This will help you to discover those areas of management that you are good at, which will in turn give you confidence in your role, and proper training in those areas you struggle with. This will mean that you will be better equipped in the future when dealing with incidents as they arise. :o

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Hi Dawn

 

dont beat yourself up over issues that happened in the past, you cannt undo them and it appears from your supportive staff that you made the right discision at the time.

 

Managment training may help to give you some reasurance and confidence that you do know what your doing. I know it often doesnt feel like it I have been running my group for 10 years and even now I still have moments when I think "am I the best person for the job?" Im currently doing the Eyps and finding that a great confidence boost, taking time to look at all the things I CAN do, helps to put what I cannt do in perspective.

 

we dont work in isolation in this job, if your worried talk to your team it sounds like they are keen to encourage you.

 

maybe after your holiday you'll feel refreshed and recharged and ready to get on with things, hope you have a nice time.

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Great advice / comments already. Just like to add that maybe, due to the circumstances of your appointment, the lack of induction etc etc, you have in affect been crisis managing ( a skill I tend to use a lot). You have come through these last hectic two years with solid affirmation that you have done well. Yes, one issue remains, totally out of your control, so what happens next? It's a bit like spending 2/3 years studying then the qualification is gained, the anxiety is over, what next?

Maybe you are feeling a sort of post sink or swim induction blues. :o

 

Funnily enough, I'm feeling a bit the same, my foster children arrived 18 months ago, in which time I've spent 'managing' all aspects of settling them in, health issues, behaviour issues, school issues etc, etc, forming a family, just like you have been forming your team. Now everything is settled, I feel unsettled, no real reason why apart from I'm not in crisis mode ( a place I tend to feel comfortable in). I have learnt new skills, learnt about systems and other professionals within the social services and care sector which was previously unfamiliar to me. And, like you, I've got through successfully. Sometimes I wonder if I need constant crisis to be able to function. xDxD

 

Maybe, like me (meaning I need to) , you need to learn how to 'just be' in terms of work, to sit back and acknowledge achievements, feel self pride and stop trying to 'prove' yourself all the time, especially to your most ardent judge, yourself. :(

 

Take the praise offered to you, wrap it around you and relax. :(

 

Have a well deserved rest over your holiday, and absolutely NO PAPERWORK. :( (by order of peggy :wacko: )

 

Peggy

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