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I've had a parent who has told me I am 'infringing his parental right' to not let him see what his ex partner has written on a child intial profile form (basically information about the child which will help us settle him into preschool - ther is a section for peoepl important to your child). I have given him the opportunity to complete one himself. He has told me what he thinks is on it. He appears to have an issue with his ex partner's new partner and I feel he is trying to draw the setting into the situation. Any advise please.

 

SmileS

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Hi Smiles,

Oh dear not a fun situation to be in, I can see where the dad is coming from- he proable feels pushed to the side and wants to see if hes named as important person in childs profile.

He has the issue with his ex not you, and I think showing him it would just give him amminition to use against her. Im not sure of the protocal its not his form, but yes you did offer for him to fill in what he thinks you should know about his son, It is a tough one, I think you made the right decision. I would stand your ground saying if the form did contain anything 'bad' or not you are not in position to show it. However you are valying his imput and respect him as a parent. Hopefully he will accept your stand and not keep asking.

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Sorry - I believe Confidentiality is the key word here!!

 

You really can't show either party either one's form!! So, smiles, I don't think you're infringing anything!! (Except your own right not to be abused for doing your job, by listening!!)

 

In the past, in an old setting, there was an issue with a dad who was off to Iran, but had no contact rights unless Mum said... we had to run everything by Mum, however we felt!

 

As Professionals we cannot and SHOULD NOT be drawn into these 'battles'.

 

Sue

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I would be inclined to remind him of confidentiality and offer him the chance to fill in a form of his own saying that it will never be shown to her under confidentiality. In fact an easier way for yourselves would be to send him a letter alnog those lines enclosed the form and give him the chance to put his side across.

 

I feel for you though it is not easy being caught in the middle, and not eve by your own choice. My Beaver Colony used to meet on a friday night and I used to get Beavers dropped off with their overnight kit as they were being picked up by the other parent! and if anything ever got ost it was always the other parents fault.

Fortunately for my sanity and photocopying ( yes the children had to have a leeter that week and one posted to the other parent) we now meet on a monday.

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what a bad situation you are caught up in. How about creating a poster like you see in the banks saying that staff have the right to be treated with respect etc... it is a concern when you cop it from parents with issues, stick to your guns and remain netural!

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