narnia Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 we have a little boy at our group who is still in nappies and he cries everytime he needs to be changed........and i MEAN he cries!!! Now, ordinarily, this wouldn't pose too much problem, we would simply change him and get on with things.He's a lovely little chap, but his parents were really nervous about sending him, (he's VERY precious!!), though it has to be said that now they have discovered the joys of time to themselves again, they're much better at leaving him!!Anyway...it seems that this crying 'problem' started when the little one stayed with granny for a few days, and it seems granny wasn't as quick at changing as she might have been, with the result that the little lad got a very sore bottom, which apparantly turned into a huge family row...('neglect', 'how could you' etc.....all very sad, 'cos it's clear granny loves him to bits ) and all this happened in front of the child. So, we get huge tears, which i thought i'd resolved for a while, as i now ask him to go and fetch his nappy, wipes etc from his bag and he goes to get the changing mat out for me, and my kneeling pad (my poor old bones!!) and he even counts out two rubber gloves and hands them to me!! So, on one level he's now becoming very confident, while on the other, we still have these tears, even though he stops long enough to chat happily to me about : what colour/pattern his socks are; what pictures we have on the bathroom wall today; how many eggs daddy's chickens laid yesterday; one of the chickens DIDN'T lay any eggs all week, so daddy 'might wring her neck'!!...so, guys, come on......what can I do to stop this little one crying?? It only starts when he's 'performed'..he doesn't do it when his nappy is wet.But, it's getting worse, even though he's clearly happy at the group.........(daddy and mummy tell us he talks about us all the time, moans when it's not his day to come,tells friends/garnny etc all about us..so it's not that!)...help!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Is there no chance of potty training him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted August 25, 2007 Author Share Posted August 25, 2007 not yet.....mum and dad won't hear of it at the moment and the little boy has shown no interest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running Bunny Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 I don't think that I have any solutions, but it sounds as though the psychology of his 'trauma' with grandma has left a lasting feeling. My god daughter, aged 4, went through a phase of not 'going' to the toilet for two or three days,then getting severe stomach cramps and then hurting when she had to go, so she stopped going again - a vicious circle. When I was at nursery, we had a little boy who had a bowel problem and we had to monitor his poo for a month before he went to a specialist - is there anything to suggest that he is having problem going or has particularly loose movements and then the issue with grandma has added to things? Is there a bigger problem here which is being overlooked? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Narnia I think what you are doing is spot on and until the parents are ready to start potty training i'm not sure there is a solution. Although this particular child has had family upset around the problem there are some children who never get over the trauma of having their nappy changed. I think the way you get the child involved is a lovely way of showing him what is going to happen. Sorry not much help but i do think you are doing well on your own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 How old is the child? Maybe mum and dad would be more receptive to potty training if they saw it as helping him to get over a bad experience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Narnia, what you are doing seems to have helped hin greatly.....I guess I would continue with this and keep praising him. Hopefully over time your patience and kindness will help this little boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted August 25, 2007 Author Share Posted August 25, 2007 thanks for the comments! This little lad is 2 and a bit, and he has twin sisters who are about 9 months old, so life is probably a bit hectic at his house!! I think I'm going to carry on with what I do already, and ask his parents if they'd like us to sit him on the potty when we change his nappy, just to get him used to the idea, without pressure.....what do you think?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 I think you are doing a good job and while he is only young if he uses a potty occasionally surely it will help mum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 keep up what u are doing - it will come hes only two Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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