Am Close To Giving Up

[Guest]

just feeling really low at the moment. I own a pre-school and work there 7 out of 9 sessions. Just lately everything seems to be getting on top of me. There have been a couple of incidents that have caused me huge stress. I sorted them out but they keep coming back to haunt me. I also seem to drowning in paperwork, staffing issues and parents who need support for various problems. On top of this i have 3 children of my own, one of whom is 3yrs and attends 4 sessions that I work. This on its own is stressful because he can be clingy at times and also expects me to be mummy not teacher when he needs me. feel like I want to walk away but i can't. Nobody would want to take it over as they all know how much work is involved! Sorry feel a bit better for moaning!!

[Guest]

Oh dear Kaybee! I know how the clingyness can affect you at work as I often have the same problem with my daughter. One day she won't even acknowledge my existence, the next she is clamped firmly to my leg and I'm literally dragging her around as I walk!

 

Is there no way you can maybe delegate some of the paperwork to another staff member? Perhaps your deputy? It might take some of the pressure off you, whilst you try to deal with your other issues?

 

In terms of the stressful incidents, as long as they have been dealt with and are now 'in the past' maybe you should try and think less about them. I know that sounds easier said than done, but you may end up making yourself ill with the worry.

 

I firmly believe that no matter where you work, there will always be staffing issues, but maybe sharing the load a bit with the more capable and reliable members will ease things a bit.

 

I hope that whatever you decide to do, it is what you feel is best for you. It's not nice when the work thing gets so on top that you feel as though you've had enough (pretty much where I am now). I hope it all works out for you and I'm glad that your 'moan' has made you feel a bit better

[Puddleducks]

What you need is a good old fashion hug!

 

Combining work and your own children is really difficult for you and for them... what you need to watch is not too moan too much too the staff, especialy if you want them to take the pressure off you. Tell them it is hard, particular with your own child and ask them to perhaps distract her/him.

 

For my own children a uniform works - I am Mum when I am in home clothes and Helen when I have my logo top on, and I am working... when I finish work I change my top, and my child know I was Mum again... simple and it worked!

 

I know it is hard but can you delegate more... perhaps get your deputy to do more, pass on some of the paperwork to her and the othe key workers... they might not like it at first, but it is all to do with being a team player!

 

Do you own or are you committee run... if you own then it is easier to say new policy, went on a training and they said you were all to be doing this...

 

If you are drowning in paperwork... are you recording too much... is it worth getting your Early years teacher in to ask for support and guidance partucular if it is based on the children's learning.

[bubblejack]

Hello Kaybee it seems as though you already have had good advice.

Could you afford to pay another helper for a few sessions a week and do the paperwork away from the children or do you have any reliable parent helpers

Could your little boy attend pre-school on the days that you don't work.

 

Once you have dealt with an issue in the best way you could you really have to close the matter.

It is a hard job to run a pre-school and look after young children. I have done it when my own children were little.

Don't be afraid to ask others to help!!!!! and thank them after and they will feel valued.

[Guest]

Lots of good advice already, just want to empathise. I own my own preschool and since september I have "moved" off ratio and out to my "home office". I don't know how I did it all before when I was working 10 out of 10 sessions.

 

I am now the one who covers for training, sick days etc and I have an excellent Manager who runs the day to day stuff. Yes, my profits are less ( non existent nearly) but I have a much better home/work balance, more time to ensure all "paperwork" is completed. Best of all I am seen as "the boss" before I was one of the team, and therefore worked hard all day to then do paperwork most nights until midnight. As the owner it is not just the daily paperwork but for example it took me 6 hrs to do the end of year P35 returns yesterday, all the business admin has increased, all the "keeping up with current legislation, new documents etc " takes time.

 

I have found that when I say something needs to be done, the staff rally round together, supporting the manager, because they know I will expect to see it done next time I am in. When I was there all day it was left to me to direct and supervise and monitor and the team stood back and let me get on with it. I nearly burnt out, and last year I wrote a similar, in fact nearly identicle post, ready to sell up and give up. I am glad I never. I still get a sense of great achievement running my own business, training and influencing staff to my principles etc.

 

Think of ways to lessen "hands-on" hours, give yourself a break ( at least one period of time be it an hour or a morning that is "you" time. Yes, you are kaybee-boss, kaybee-Mother but most importantly to do those very important roles effectively you must have time to be, to be Kaybee-you.

 

I know just writing it down helps, it helps to "get the thoughts out of your head" and into some sort of context. good luck and take pride in what you have achieved, already accomplished ( no easy task) have a pat on the back, forget the past and look to a better future where you let others know you "expect" their support, because without you, they will not be who they are today.

 

Peggy

[Guest]

Hi Kaybee

Great advice from every one. I'm like Peggy I have stepped back abit from being so hands on and take less money but more time to breath. Have you tried turning your son over to another member of staff when he is clingy, like you would if it was a strangers child. find a member of staff that he trusts and let them become the "keyworker" it might take a few weeks but it might help. think what you would do if he wasn't your child and how would you settle him.

The paper work I have labelled it into to different areas. I now have some one to do the SEN, another does the training file. I have organised all the day to day stuff into files and passed them to each member of staff to keep a track of them. there is enough paperwork on just running the business side to deal with which is the bit that you don't want to give to your staff as it is your business, but the curriculum side and care side of paperwork you can delegate. it is so difficult to do all of it. You have to only once a week ask that person have they done all that needs to be done, to keep a check. Delegating is a skill on its own!!!

If all else fails I have been told by my homepathic doctor to put drops of walnut essence (bought from a health food shop) in a small bottle of water and sip it during the day. It helps to ward off other peoples emotions. Don't know whats in it but it certainly helps. My staff now look at me and say she's on her jungle juice. I can't even put it down to the alcohol content because 4 drops is not alot in a bottle So if its not the walnut then psychological (too long a word at this time of day) but it makes me stop and think that I can't do miracles, they take a little longer

[Guest]

Thank you for all your replies. It's so nice to hear from people who understand. I've had a long talk with my husband and we've agreed that i will cut down my sessions in September, even if means taking on extra staff. It does mean as you rightly say Peggy, that i will lose income which is also an important consideration. Last week i found my hands were shaking so much, i couldn't peel a hard boiled egg! I realise i am close to burning out and need to take steps to sort it out.

My son does have a keyworker who is fabulous with him, but when he has one of his "moments" I am so aware of what he is doing and also feel as the "boss" i should have a child who doesn't cause any trouble. I think I'm trying too hard to be perfect and failing badly.

i also take the point about not moaning to the staff too much. If i wanted one of them to buy it off me they wouldn't touch it with a bargepole at the moment!!

Thank you for listening and understanding,

 

Kaybee

[Guest]

Thank you for all your replies. It's so nice to hear from people who understand. I've had a long talk with my husband and we've agreed that i will cut down my sessions in September, even if means taking on extra staff. It does mean as you rightly say Peggy, that i will lose income which is also an important consideration. Last week i found my hands were shaking so much, i couldn't peel a hard boiled egg! I realise i am close to burning out and need to take steps to sort it out.

My son does have a keyworker who is fabulous with him, but when he has one of his "moments" I am so aware of what he is doing and also feel as the "boss" i should have a child who doesn't cause any trouble. I think I'm trying too hard to be perfect and failing badly.

i also take the point about not moaning to the staff too much. If i wanted one of them to buy it off me they wouldn't touch it with a bargepole at the moment!!

Thank you for listening and understanding,

 

Kaybee

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[Helen]

What great advice from everybody; this is truly what this forum is about!

One thing I would add; have you thought about placing your little boy in another setting? I registered my daughter in another setting for a couple of sessions per week, in her year before she started school (sadly she never started because it flooded in the "Lewes Great Flood!") but I really wanted her to get used to being in a setting without me. She did eventually find settling into reception quite difficult, I think because she was so used to being in my nursery every morning.

[Guest]

Thank you for your reply Helen. What i didn't mention was that my son will be 4 in a couple of months and is going to school in September. So He finishes at my setting in July. I know that part of my stress is almost over but then he has a bad day and i remeber it's still another 9 weeks!! I did put him in another setting because of the problems he was having and he was absolutely fine there, so I know he won't have problems going to school. He had to keep coming to my setting as well though because we feed the local primary and all his school friends are here. (we actually withdrew him from that setting a few months ago because we were not happy with certain aspects - safety, lack of communication etc). We have since introduced star charts for being a good boy at pre-school and in the main they are working.

I have woken up today feeling that I am going to soldier on. I do love my job, I just seem to have lost sight of that with all the various problems that are going on around me. I will try and take on as many of your suggestions as are feasible. Thank you for all your support.

Kaybee