bubblejack Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 We have a 3 year old in our setting whose behaviour is getting worse instead of better. He has been with us since he was 2.6.mths. His nan or mum stayed with him when he first came for a few weeks. He was so disruptive then and investigated all our cupboards, climbed on the stage etc. etc. His mum and nan were oblivious to his behaviour and sat there reading all the travel brochures in our role-play area. I found it rather embarassing because I was constantly telling him off. Not that they minded because they said he was ours now and had to learn to behave. Not wanting to offend them I explained to them that he seemed settled now so neither had to stay with him. He was full of awe and wonder at all our activities and mum and nan said that he had never experienced any creative activity. Over the next 6 months he did improve. He has returned after the Christmas break and his behaviour is really bad. He isn't playing with the children . When encouraged by an adult in a small group he pushes forward and does other attention seeking things like snatching and hitting children and adults..He is refusing to take part in any group activity. He just struts around with his hands on his hips complaining he is bored. He is very repetitive and not eager to learn or experience new things only playing with one certain puzzle, will only do painting with a certain brush, take part in singing if we are singing a certain song. When we lead him to another activity he fights and punches us. He can only function with a 1-1 ratio for all of the session. I have made his mum aware of the situation she says he is just a lively character. She says he is very obsessional about things at home because his nan doesn't have much energy and has to limit him a lot.I have mentioned to her that I would like our special needs advisor to observe him when she comes in a few weeks (although it will be impossible for her NOT to notice him) The mum isn't going to give her consent to this saying that he hasn't got a behaviour problem but has offered to send the nan to pre-school with him.!!!!!!! At least his nan does comment on his bad behavior at home when she brings him in to each session.His mum has asked me to discuss all issues with the child's nan in future not her. The child and his parents live with the grandparents and his mum works full-time. What an interesting week i'm in for next week. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 stay with it,the majoriy of children come back with behaviour probs from christmas break due to change in routine sleep time being spoilt etc he will settle back to excepting your boundaries Im sure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hi Bubblejack. I agree with andreamay that he may well settle down and improve, the Christmas break always brings out the worst in children. Not easy if mum doesn't want to know. Prehaps talk to nan as she sounds a little easier to talk to about this. I'd keep it very casual and mention that the SENCo is coming in, see if she says anything about it. I know how frustrating this is. I had a child with obvious special needs. Hardly any language, very specific in what he played with, screamed at other children and hit them if they were upset or were a baby. Very hard work. The dad had cancer, and mum was obviously struggling. She didn't want to admit that there was anything wrong, but thankfully allowed me to introduce her son to the SENCo and ended up with four I.E.P's over the 8 months he was with us and regular meeting with mum about his behaviour, which did improve all around until he started school It may be worth saying to the SENCo that you a have a child with these needs (as you've outlined) and can she suggest any activities you can do with him, then start a play plan. If you tell mum/nan that you'r starting play plans with a group of children, and feel that it would benefit him, then they may feel happier, some parents get really upset at the thought that their child might not be 'perfect' Hope this helps. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblejack Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 Nan stayed with him to-day and his behaviour was good in comparison to last week. I think he had been warned to behave as he frequently told her that he wasn't going to hit anyone to-day. Unfortunately his behaviour gradually deteriorated. His nan felt that he had no concentration and interaction with other children to-day but wants to stay tomorrow. I don't have a problem with that. I feel he is showing typical signs of A.D.H.D. or A.D.D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hi. If you feel he's signs of a specific 'syndrome' then there is plenty of writen advice for helping with these, so it wouldn't hurt to look it up and see what advice is given. Then you could slot some of this behaviour management into your day with the child and see if it has any affect. If you manage to get a good result, then mum might come around to your way of thinking and ask if what your doing with child. Keep up the good work and good luck for the rest of the week Lu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Your comment on his changed behaviour this week shows that he is aware of appropriate behaviour, boundaries and consequences. Your initial description of him appeared to suggest that he is rather confined at home ( in the respect of opportunities to express himself) and maybe this has some bearing on his nehaviour at preschool. In my preschool, when I do registration forms and permission forms with parents, we have a "blanket" statement asking parents permission for Ofsted, Senco, Health visitor, EYAT and any other professionals to carry out observations for the purpose of developmental assessment. Parents agree to this before the child starts. This alleviattes the problem of asking for permission for developmental obs at any given time and covers us for the fact that many professionals from different agencies attend and observe regularly as part of their role. All but one parent has agreed to this, one particular parent gave permission for observations but didn't want an assessment made on her child from this observation. May I also suggest you carry out some event and or time sample observations yourselves. Look at the A.B.C. of his behaviour; note the A=Antecedent- the trigger/behaviour just prior to actual event. The B= actual behaviour/actions and C= the consequences-how he and others handled the behaviour immediately afterwards. You could do these at set times when you have "informally" recognised that he will misbehave. This should give you information on triggers, was he actually provoked, was he asked to do something etc and how adults, peers and he reacted to the event. Hopefully this will enable you to consider different approaches and/or be more aware of triggers/times of events. Then do the same but record his positive behaviour. Share with parents/nan. Hope this helps. Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblejack Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 Thanks Peggy good idea I have added that to my registration form now for the future. Yes you have said it in a nutshell he is very restricted the nan is also very grumpy and I have never seen her smile In January I changed him to morning sessions instead of afternoons to suit his nan. I now think this may be contributing to the problem. I have just phoned the nan to ask if he can revert back to p.m. I know he also goes to a childminder so perhaps they have to check with her also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Just browsing around and had never thought Peggy to do a blanket permission for us to contact other people. In my group it would certainly save us alot of time having to get individual permission. We seem to have so many children always under observation, for one thing or another. Great idea thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Hi all, I certainly agree that 'blanket' permissions for various things saves a lot of hassle, but would just add a word of warning here. If your concerns are of a potentially 'serious' situation/special need, etc., I would strongly recommend that you discuss this with the parent/carer first for their input and permission before you involve a third party. It could be quite a shock for a parent/carer to be contacted and informed of something 'out of the blue' - quite apart from being rather discourteous! I'm not suggesting that anyone here would actually do that, but thought it best to state the obvious! Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts