Foul language

[Devondaisy]

I have a three year old child attending my setting who has started using foul language. This is child with quite severe delay, especially in language and social skills. He is just starting to put 2 or 3 words together and is having speech therapy. He also hits and throws things, which he has been doing for some time, but he has started spitting and biting as well as swearing recently. This behaviour is generally aimed at his mother when she comes to pick him up, although he has bitten a child and member of staff this week and spat quite a few times. He also displays all these behaviours at home regularly. There are a number of issues at home and our relationship with the family is quite delicate.

 

The biting and spitting I think we are managing, but I would really like some advice on how to handle the swearing. He uses a particular, quite abusive, word which he shouts quite clearly at his mother. I have suggested that she try to ignore it as much as possible so he does not get a reaction, but obviously in the pre-school environment, in front of other children and parents, I want to stop it happening! Mum is embarrassed too and I really feel for her. Am I right to suggest ignoring it? Any other words of wisdom please??

[Susan]

I think you should ask for some advice from the child's therapist. The other behaviours all indicate that there could be something else going on.

[Guest]

You have said that her is showing these behaviours at home too. I wonder if Mum would be open to a discussion re 'are you struggling at home' - 'this must be spoiling your enjoyment of being his mum' - 'the Children's Centre could offer some support'. This is exactly the sort of support that they should be offering i.e. individual support work, courses re parenting in small groups etc. You would need to be sure exactly what the Centre offers but, if you are not already sure, you could always make a general enquiry to them (no names of course)