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Disturbing Problem


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Jaycooks, first I hope your baby is feeling better.

 

I know exactly how you have felt over the last few days, strange how even when we have had numorous CP training and lots of literature, when it actually comes to dealing with a disclosure the first question we ask ourselves is 'How do we deal with this'?, Even though we do know how to, there is more than one option, but the difficulty is is that, I think, our brains are trying to cope with the unthinkable and shock of what has been disclosed. Our brains do actually become 'unthinkable' for a time. We then begin to weigh up all the pro's and con's of different actions, how they will affect the disclosee, the victim, etc and yet at the same time also knowing we must and will act on the disclosure.

This is a natural response; Assimilation (the integration of new knowledge or information with what is already known) and accomodation (the modification of actions in response of something) of a concept outside of our usual / normal life context.

 

You have handled this very well and should be proud, as others have said, knowing that the effects of your actions will go towards ensuring this young childs life becomes safer.

 

Credit also to you for being the type of person who enables a secure enough working environment which has enabled your staff to feel able to approach you for support in this situation. I do hope that she is getting the support outside of work that she and her children must need. Here is a link to Victims support; HERE

Victim Support is an independent national charity where the staff and volunteers are trained to provide emotional support and practical assistance, including:

 

providing someone you can talk to in complete confidence

real advice on victims' rights

useful information on police and court procedures

down to earth advice about compensation and insurance

information about other sources of help like counselling

Anyone affected by crime can contact Victim Support for help, regardless of whether they’ve reported the crime to the police or how long ago the crime took place.

 

Victim Support line: 0845 30 30 900

 

Jaycook, I understand this has been emotionally and physically draining for you but could you consider one more thing, to have ready strategies to deal with any possible repercussions from this staff members ex at the workplace (if he knows where she works or is possibly likely to follow her to work). The reason I say this is that I've had experience in the past of a staff members aggressive ex partner at my preschool. We were not as prepared as we would have liked to have been. Also this 'action' may help at a time where adults sometimes feel impotent at not being able to act once they have reported concerns (the not knowing if a difference has been made etc). Maybe if you and your staff team can focus on something 'in your control' it will help your staff member to gain a sense of security and a sense of at least being able to 'do' something. She can best advize you all of what behaviour her ex may display, what safety measures, responses and actions may need to be considered if he turns up.

 

CP issues are so emotive, yet we as professionals HAVE to distance ourselves from the emotion to be able to act, you have done this, again, well done.

 

Peggy

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Jaycooks, first I hope your baby is feeling better.

 

I know exactly how you have felt over the last few days, strange how even when we have had numorous CP training and lots of literature, when it actually comes to dealing with a disclosure the first question we ask ourselves is 'How do we deal with this'?, Even though we do know how to, there is more than one option, but the difficulty is is that, I think, our brains are trying to cope with the unthinkable and shock of what has been disclosed. Our brains do actually become 'unthinkable' for a time. We then begin to weigh up all the pro's and con's of different actions, how they will affect the disclosee, the victim, etc and yet at the same time also knowing we must and will act on the disclosure.

This is a natural response; Assimilation (the integration of new knowledge or information with what is already known) and accomodation (the modification of actions in response of something) of a concept outside of our usual / normal life context.

 

You have handled this very well and should be proud, as others have said, knowing that the effects of your actions will go towards ensuring this young childs life becomes safer.

 

Credit also to you for being the type of person who enables a secure enough working environment which has enabled your staff to feel able to approach you for support in this situation. I do hope that she is getting the support outside of work that she and her children must need. Here is a link to Victims support; HERE

Victim Support is an independent national charity where the staff and volunteers are trained to provide emotional support and practical assistance, including:

 

providing someone you can talk to in complete confidence

real advice on victims' rights

useful information on police and court procedures

down to earth advice about compensation and insurance

information about other sources of help like counselling

Anyone affected by crime can contact Victim Support for help, regardless of whether they’ve reported the crime to the police or how long ago the crime took place.

 

Victim Support line: 0845 30 30 900

 

Jaycook, I understand this has been emotionally and physically draining for you but could you consider one more thing, to have ready strategies to deal with any possible repercussions from this staff members ex at the workplace (if he knows where she works or is possibly likely to follow her to work). The reason I say this is that I've had experience in the past of a staff members aggressive ex partner at my preschool. We were not as prepared as we would have liked to have been. Also this 'action' may help at a time where adults sometimes feel impotent at not being able to act once they have reported concerns (the not knowing if a difference has been made etc). Maybe if you and your staff team can focus on something 'in your control' it will help your staff member to gain a sense of security and a sense of at least being able to 'do' something. She can best advize you all of what behaviour her ex may display, what safety measures, responses and actions may need to be considered if he turns up.

 

CP issues are so emotive, yet we as professionals HAVE to distance ourselves from the emotion to be able to act, you have done this, again, well done.

 

Peggy

thank you so much for your kind words and support, -------------------

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Well Done, Jaycooks.

 

A very difficult situation and one we all hope never to find ourself in - no amount of training prepares you for the emotional impact.

 

It can be very emotionally draining and affect you and your staff in different ways and at different times.

 

Our local Safeguarding Children Board offers a "debrief" session to settings and individuals to support them through the aftermath.

 

One of the issues they helped to address was keeping the setting and staff safe in case of repercussions.

 

I hope your LSCB offers something similar if you feel the need for it.

 

Hope "ratbag baby" eats something more than yoghurt soon :o

 

Nona

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