rosepetal Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Hi, Hope someone can help! I have a llittle girl in my setting who is nearly four and will be starting school in January. I am a new manager in the setting so am only just getting to know the children and thier back grounds. This little girls mum passed away with Cancer when the little girl was a baby, within the past month her grandfather has passed away, he was a very close adult in her life. The little girl is missing not having a mother and has in the past few weeks started talking about missing her mummy and how granny is sad because granny misses her grandad and so does she. The little gilrs behaviour is starting to become very challenging and is obviously causing concern with her keyperson. The little girl is obviously struggling to understand her feelings of 'grief'. Dad is very open with the little girl and talks about mum regularly. Has anyone any suggestions as what we can do to support the little girl as my heart goes out to her. She will openly say to the other children when they talk about thier mummies that she has not got one because she died of Cancer and is in heaven. The ideas i have thougt of are, if dad is ok with it, would be for dad to bring in photographs of mummy and to let the little girl maybe make a collage with the photos, and we could write a story based on the little girls own words, this would then be laminated for her to keep in nursery and be able to look at it as and when she wanted to. I have also thought about providing a large area in the garden for example to set up a creative area, with different papers and media to let her freely explore her feelings through art, with maybe music in the back ground, this would be set up as a SG activity. I have also thought of going to the library to see if i can get any good pre school stories based around bereavement. What do you think, do these ideas sound ok, or have you other ideas? Thank you Rosepetal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apple Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Hi Rosepetal. What a traumatic time your little girl has/is having. We had a little girl last year in Nursery who lost her sister in the lead up to Christmas. Our little one had play therapy provided by the hospital wher her sister was treated. This was after her sister's death. We supported her in Nursery by allowing a 1-1 time each day with her key worker to talk about anything she wanted to; this was usually done just beofre lunch in a quiet space, away from the hsutle and bustle. Sometimes she wanted to talk about her sister and other times it was about everyday 'normal' things. We also have keyrings in Nursery and on these the children have little laminated photos of people/pets close to them, including ourselves. The children use these in different ways; to talk about their families, to share with others etc. You might like to do one of these up with the key people in her life, you could even add to it with little pictures she has drawn or momentos from visits etc- a reminder of happy times too. We did as you are considering and provided her with the opportunities to be creative but this was done as part of the normal routine... this we found so important to her to provide a sense of continuity in a safe and secure environment. It might be helpful to contact the health worker/Macmillan or other agency who may have been involved with the child's family with the consent of course from dad. Also consider getting in touch with your school nurse as they should be able to provide you with support too. ' Badger's Parting Gift' is a book that is used a lot in these circumstances. Hope this helps and I will say a wee prayer for you and your little one tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 What lovely ideas you both have. I think the most important thing you have shown is your openess, to take guidance from those most closest to the bereavement and the way you are planning to show you care and to help her vent her positive and sad emotions. Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Thats very sad. I watched a programme last week which is a 3 part series called the Mummy Diaries on channel 4 about a child psychologist called Julia Stokes who works with terminally ill mothers and their children.She had some wonderful ideas that you may find useful.Last weeks was emotional as it featured my GP and his wife who have teenage children.This weeks programme on tomorrow at 9pm is about a 3 and 4 year old and the last 12 months of their mothers life.You/we may find this particular programme helpful but bewarned it heart wrenching.We never know when we maybe faced with a child who has suffered a passed or sudden death in the family. Julia Stokes was brilliant explaining how grief effects children, how to approach it and help them deal with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 Thats very sad. I watched a programme last week which is a 3 part series called the Mummy Diaries on channel 4 about a child psychologist called Julia Stokes who works with terminally ill mothers and their children.She had some wonderful ideas that you may find useful.Last weeks was emotional as it featured my GP and his wife who have teenage children.This weeks programme on tomorrow at 9pm is about a 3 and 4 year old and the last 12 months of their mothers life.You/we may find this particular programme helpful but bewarned it heart wrenching.We never know when we maybe faced with a child who has suffered a passed or sudden death in the family. Julia Stokes was brilliant explaining how grief effects children, how to approach it and help them deal with it. I also saw this programme....it was extremely heart wrenching but Julia Stokes had some really lovely ideas. It could be worth a look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 It is great that her dad is willing to speak openly to the little girl about the death as a lot of the pain for small children is not understanding what is going on and not being able to ask. I would just caution that it may be that a lot of her life revolves around this death which is why she speaks about it so much. What she may need is just a 'normal' environment where death is low on the agenda and she can be a person in her own right, rather than the little girl whose mum died of cancer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueFinanceManager Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 Hi You might find some useful advice from this website for an organisation call Winston's wishes a charity which specialises in helping bereaved children Winston's wishes home page Hope this helps Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 It's Winstons wishes that Julia Stokes works for Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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