When I think back to the time when my three children were aged six, three and newborn, I recall a blur of constant activity, episodes of exhaustion, and adrenalin levels of being on a non-stop adventure! As thankful as I was to be mum to healthy, thriving children, the memories are certainly peppered with feeling overwhelmed and uncertain when new phases would crop up, tipping the domestic balance that had been delicately stacked alongside the wooden blocks. Both slipped easily.

That was why I found connecting with local mums at the same stage I was at, a lifeline. From our informal cups of tea, to organising small local projects with the help of a friendly health visitor, these kept us all connected. It helped to share. It helped to be heard and reassured.

That was many moons ago, and now that my children are adults, I’ve got the luxury of looking back and reflecting. So I was interested to speak to community-based practitioners, and mums with young children, to find out about their experiences.

Meeting local needs

Two  community venues I approached in Buckinghamshire support local parents through running nurseries where language and familiarity with the local culture encourages parents’ participation. The first is a nursery run in Castlefield Community Centre situated in the heart of a diverse neighbourhood. Madiha*, the Nursery Manager, shared her experience of working with local parents and their young children.

‘This nursery is for three to five year olds and started off because of the specific needs of the local community which is mostly of Pakistani heritage. It helps we’re in a Community Centre as it houses the local authority Family Services provision, and partners such as Little Talkers for children with speech delays. We have a library here too and parents use IT facilities daily, and just go there for some quiet time.’

Madiha explained that for some of the parents English is a second, or third language. Whilst many speak English fluently, other parents are still struggling with communicating. Nursery staff help parents by sign-posting them to local ESOL classes as well as being bilingual. The staff communicate important information related to their child’s development, which might otherwise be missed.

Communication can still be a challenge, but as Madiha shared, they use other approaches to involve parents in their children’s learning: ‘We send parents information via Tapestry with photographs to help them carry on activities at home. But to get them more involved, we invite parents to literacy sessions, so staff can model the techniques we use. We used to run a ‘Play and Stay’ session weekly which we opened up for the whole local community, where parents could stay with their under-five year olds, and join in with activities. It was good for them to socialise and we got asked a lot of questions that they might not ask anyone else. Things about nappy changing and potty training would come up, as well as little issues like a child eating crayons and what to do about it. The parents that come to us feel confident to speak up because there’s someone familiar with their home culture.’

Faith-based spaces

WISE mosque in South Bucks runs both a small pre-school nursery and a mother & toddler group in its community space. Nahid* recounts how she started with just a few children six years ago as ‘Wise Owls’ which has grown into a regular play and learning space with several children and parents joining in. ‘Mums stay with their children aged between 2.5 - 4 years old, and participate in activities like tracing Arabic phonics, followed by hands on activities like tasting foods that begin with a particular letter sound they’re practicing - they all enjoyed that! We have puzzles, games and story time too.’

As the mosque is a focal point for the Muslim community, it was important to start something to cater for the youngest children and their parents, so they could feel part of the community. Nahid remembers how ‘Some mums were really isolated and were happy to come to a relaxed environment. They seemed to love coming as much as the children and learnt with them! For some, this is the only time they sit and talk about education issues and exchange numbers with other mums. They get a chance to mingle and find out about services for families and children locally.’

Taking a holistic approach

There is plenty of evidence from research which links the wellbeing of parents, and the family unit in general, to the best start in life for the young infant[1]. In addition, it’s established that a mum who has given birth, needs looking after too. Seeing to the needs of a newborn is all consuming, and often there’s an elder sibling under the age of five to care for. This can easily lead to a mum’s emotional and mental health suffering if, in some cases, they don’t have a kinship network, or access to the help they need.  This reality has driven the partnership between MIND CPSL – a branch of the national mental health charity (MIND) and The Lantern Initiative, a non-profit social enterprise educating communities about mental health in Peterborough, to work together on supporting specific minorities on their perinatal, postnatal, and early years journey[2].

Using an evidence based approach, their partnership provides a physical space for Muslim mums to meet and socialise with their babies and toddlers, as well as running a free six week course to improve their mental wellbeing.

Two women involved in the project, Maryam*, mum of two daughters under 3 years old, and  Zeenat*, a volunteer on the project, share their experience of what this course offers attendees.

Maryam:

I went to ‘Connecting Muslim Mums’ in person once a week for two hours. It’s local and I hadn’t been out the house since the first was born in Covid. The course ran for six weeks and I can say it completely changed my life. I felt supported, safe, and understood. We were guided gently through my emotions and how to move on. The faith factor helped a lot, it brought me to a better understanding about why we go through struggles.

Now I take my girls to a fortnightly ‘Chai and Chat’ morning where I meet other mothers and our children play. It helps my girls to interact with other children in another environment and it’s nice for them to see me communicate with other mums. Going there helps my emotional wellbeing and I’m able to offload. The mothers just know what you’re going through, you don’t need an opinion. I’m volunteering now to care for other mums and help them through this stage.’

Zeenat: Digital Communications Specialist for Cambridge Foundation Trust and volunteer for The Lantern Initiative’s courses for Mums

I volunteer for the course ‘Connecting Muslim Mums’ which is free for mums who have children under the age of 2 yrs. The course takes a holistic approach supporting mums with their physical and emotional health, with practices like mindfulness which are related to their faith, like focusing on the names of God - it’s all interconnected. It helps Mums with coping strategies and handling expectations, a lot of mums don’t know where they can go for help. This course is based on ‘The Five Ways to Wellbeing: connecting; being active; taking notice; keep learning; and giving. When I check in with the mums, they’ll say they feel much better because they’re putting things into practice. Having a creche for the under 5’s helps them to attend.’

Taking a look at some community-based support has shown just how vital it is to take a joined-up approach and connect a variety of providers. The youngest in society deserve the best start in life, and supporting their parents plays a significant part in that.