You may have noticed that recently self-regulation (SR) has become a bit of a buzzword in Early Years (EY) and although this has some benefits, it also brings some challenges, with some consultants incorrectly defining it while advocating the use of behaviour management strategies to promote its development – a concept which is diametrically opposed to SR. Worse still is the Department for Education’s (DfE) proposed changes to the statutory framework for the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) which continue to be debated and contested among the EY workforce. One reason for this is the proposed introduction of SR to the Early Learning Goals (ELGs) – an issue that I continue to try to raise awareness about through my writing and training. It is my contention that introducing a weighty concept like SR without aligning this to urgent revision of workforce qualifications, training and CPD to enable staff to know what SR is, could prove damaging to children and practitioners alike.

I will explain why. SR is a complex set of skills that develop from birth (if not before), through ever-evolving relationships and interactions which enable the child to live a fulfilling and successful life. SR is one’s ability to manage one’s own emotional responses and consequent behaviour and knowing how to control those big, overwhelming feelings such as anger or fear, in order to get on with the serious business of play, building relationships and learning. In short, being able to self-regulate is how we manage stress.

Broadly speaking, this often-misunderstood skill includes these 10 attributes:

• Controlling own feelings and behaviours
• Applying personalised strategies to return to a state of calm
• Being able to curb impulsive behaviours
• Being able to concentrate on a task
• Being able to ignore distractions
• Behaving in ways that are pro-social
• Planning
• Thinking before acting
• Delaying gratification
• Persisting in the face of difficulty.

Dr Stuart Shanker (2019) defines SR as:

The ability to manage stress and the neural processes that control the energy expended to deal with a stressor and then recover. When an individual’s stress levels are too high various systems for thinking and metabolic recovery are compromised. The signs of dysregulation show up in the behaviour, or mood, or attention, and physical well-being.

It is this dysregulated behaviour that many parents and practitioners alike mistakenly label as ‘bad’, ‘challenging’ or ‘defiant’. We all know what it looks like – it is the child throwing themselves on the floor, hitting themselves or others, it is the shouting and screaming or withdrawing, the damaging of property and the inability to control their attention. Many schools still adopt archaic behaviour management policies and approaches that only deal with these (and more) behaviours, believing they must be ‘extinguished’. There is no room for teachers to understand SR and the reasons why children become dysregulated. Our factory line of an education system does not encourage or enable practitioners to work with more relational approaches to nurturing SR, resilience, and consequently, executive functioning.

Dr Stuart Shanker explains SR as existing in five domains – each with its own range of stressors. This, I believe, is critical for us all to understand and put into practice – be it at work or at home.

While reading through them, honestly reflect on your provision and note down what you think the stressors are in your setting. What changes could you make?

The five domains of SR and their stressors:

(The full list can be found at https://self-reg.ca/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/2018_18_FULL_TOOLKIT_TM.pdf).

The proposed SR ELGs

Yet, the SR ELGs which have been introduced are quite some way off the mark, failing to acknowledge the psychological world of children. For example, children are expected to:

• Show an understanding of their own feelings and those of others, and regulate their behaviour accordingly
• Pay attention to their teacher and follow multi-step instructions
• Manage Self
• Manage their own basic hygiene and personal needs, including dressing and going to the toilet
• Understand the importance of healthy food choices.

Given just how complex and nuanced SR is, it is clear to see just how inappropriate these ELGs are. Those who have written them have grossly misinterpreted SR and as a result, have misinformed an entire workforce, with children ultimately paying the price, especially those who experience emotional and social sensory integration difficulties and learning disabilities. What we are left with is a vague and inaccurate definition of SR which is disrespectful and dismissive of the child. Take for example ’regulate their behaviour accordingly’ and ‘manage self’– a young child cannot readily master these competences without co-regulation (the supportive, guiding process between two individuals and the strategies used in this process to help regulate the child’s emotional responses) from an adult. Yet this term does not feature at all, by way of explaining how to help children achieve SR. Children’s ability to self-regulate is still developing and hence often goes up and down, as part of that allostatic system. (Allostasis refers to the idea that the activity of a given system, such as the stress response system or the SR system more generally, is adjusted adaptively to a given set point or resting level in order to meet the demands of a given context – and this can be a good or bad thing, depending on the life experiences of a child).

Being able to consistently regulate their own feelings and behaviour is a major task for a young child and co-regulation is integral to this process, providing them with a healthy blueprint of how to respond to and overcome triggers. A child who has become distressed or dysregulated needs adult support to help regulate limbic stress-behaviours as she/he could easily enter fight-or-flight when ordered to ‘behave’ or to ‘’stop being naughty’’ or to ‘’say sorry’’. The concept of SR cannot be confused with expecting a child to eat independently or to resolve conflict without adult support. Practitioners have raised with me the issue of children who have not experienced secure attachments and who consequently lack the ability to self-regulate as they have not had this modelled to them – what happens to these children under the revised ELGs? Given the deep complexity of SR and the responsibilities of the practitioner in understanding and nurturing it through co-regulation, a wonderful opportunity for the workforce could be lost.

Understanding SR and co-regulation could equip practitioners to be more sensitive and attuned to babies’ and young children’s emotional states and consequent ability to thrive, not only at nursery or school, but throughout their lives. It would be worthwhile for practitioners to familiarise themselves with the theory and vocabulary, as this can instil confidence when having pedagogical conversations with parents and colleagues, and - most importantly – an understanding of the theory and language will inform their approach when caring for those babies and young children.

At a recent consultation concerning the proposed introduction of the SR (and other) ELGs, a senior representative of the DfE advised that we should ‘exercise creative interpretation’ when reading the proposed ELGs. My immediate question was and remains – ‘how can we ‘exercise creative interpretation’ when the content itself is incorrect and misleading?’ Ultimately, we would still be trying to interpret and make sense of information that is erroneous and limited.

What does SR mean for your daily practice?

SR is relevant to all of us – both in our professional and personal lives, especially when it comes to understanding all behaviour as communication and enabling you to co-regulate babies’ and children’s emotional and behavioural responses. As a result of engaging with my X2 award-winning online CPD, SR in EY, some nursery chains have eschewed their behaviour management policies and procedures, adopting a more relational approach. This has included embedding SR in their induction process, delivering workshops for parents in SR and co-regulation, training their leadership team in cascading this knowledge to the whole team and creating (indoor and outdoor) SR spaces for babies and children – which are proving highly effective in enabling them to begin to manage stressors and return to calm. This holistic approach to nurturing SR is far more effective than endlessly reprimanding children without actually giving them the tools to modify their emotional responses and behaviour.

Dr Stuart Shanker’s five steps of SR are very useful in helping practitioners to move towards a ‘connect before correct’ approach to supporting positive behaviour by inviting them to pause and think about the child’s needs in that moment:

1. Reframe the behaviour

2. Recognise stressors

3. Reduce stressors

4. Reflect

5. Respond

So, what else could you do to nurture SR in your daily practice?

Before reading on, it is important to understand that building SR into your daily provision cannot be done superficially. It must be embedded through every aspect of your practice.

• Revisit the five domains of SR and their stressors (above) to see how much you could minimize or prevent some children being triggered
• Change behaviour management policies to SR policies, ensuring all staff are aware
• Make Dr Shanker’s five steps of SR a core part of your approach to behaviour
• Inform your whole team about SR and their role in co-regulating emotional responses and behaviour
• Prioritise your team’s mental health – after all, if they are stressed, they will not be able to support children to overcome stress
• Create an SR (indoor and/or outdoor) space in your setting where babies and children can go to recalibrate. Make sure it is furnished with a range of stimulating resources that facilitate SR
• Create ‘tame it’ toolkits for each child. This is like a sensory kit containing objects that stimulate each of the five senses when a child is dysregulated. E.g. A book about emotions, a glitter jar, essential oils, a chew toy or headphones
• Practice hot chocolate breathing – the child has a picture of hot chocolate (print out a few) and focuses on inhaling (smelling the drink) and exhaling (blowing on the drink to cool it down). Practice this breathing for 5-10 breaths. When dysregulated, children’s breathing becomes accelerated and they find it difficult to regulate their breathing, so this is a fun way to help them calm down.

Remember, your three ultimate aims in co-regulating emotional responses are to:

1.      reduce stress levels

2.      help the child return to a state of calm

3.      model/provide SR strategies for them to use in the future.

Children who experience nurturing and stable caregiving, go on to develop greater resilience and the ability to self-regulate uncomfortable and overwhelming emotions. All that you do, matters!

Mine's conference, Neuroscience in Early Years, takes place on Saturday 28th March 2020. The theme is Self Regulation/Building Resilience. Mine would like to offer FSF readers 20% off tickets for the conference.  Use code FSF20, and follow this link to find more details: https://mineconkbayir.co.uk/