It's life but not as we know it

We are emerging from life under lockdown and gradually reacquainting ourselves with the routines and habits that we were accustomed to before COVID-19 took a global hold. The education of more than 90% of the world’s children has been disrupted by the pandemic (World Economic Forum, 2020) and while some children are back at nursery and school - and are happy to be so, how far have you been permitted to prioritise children’s emotional wellbeing? The raft of guidance documents issued, while understandably focusing on hygiene and safety to minimise the ongoing threat of COVID-19, are underwhelming in their emphasis on the need to safeguard and promote children’s emotional wellbeing and development. Each child will still be dealing with the stress of this ongoing crisis differently, largely depending on their family’s unique situation and how effectively their parents have contained their anxieties, emotional lability and consequent changes or regression in behaviour. While the likes of the Department for Education (DfE) and Ofsted continue to perpetuate a culture that focuses on academic outcomes and ‘catching up’ during this time, children’s emotional wellbeing will inevitably suffer.

Head of Early Years at Bertram Nursery Group, Ursula Krystek-Walton, has been pivotal in embedding self-regulation policies and approaches across their 42 settings, recently creating a post-COVID Self-Regulation Support Plan for children, which is proving highly effective. She told me:

Children’s capacity for resilience is swiftly becoming apparent - many practitioners are reporting ‘amazement’ at children’s ability to happily and confidently settle back into the nursery routine. This is mainly a result of our sole emphasis on children’s emotional wellbeing.

Emotions – the good, the bad and the ugly

Emotions are not fundamentally ‘bad’ or negative - they are essential to our survival, enabling us to identify potential threats in our immediate environment, to make swift decisions in difficult situations and to connect with those around us. Yet emotions tend to be viewed as the poor relation of intellect, due to occasionally causing children and adults alike to act before they think. We all recognise the role of emotions governing our upstairs, rational brain: when making a decision, we might ‘go with our gut’, when we are faced with a challenge or embroiled in conflict with colleagues or friends, we tend to talk of ‘feeling sick with worry’ or having a ‘knot in our stomach’. This is no coincidence given that many of us tend to intuit by following our ‘gut instinct’. During these moments, we are actually receiving signals from our gut – commonly referred to as the second brain. Our gut contains approximately 100 million neurons, communicating with our brain to inform our feelings, mood, stress levels, motivation and higher cognitive functions – all part of EI. (Carabotti et al., 2015).

Children who frequently complain of having ‘tummy aches’ and ‘headaches’ may in fact be experiencing feelings of anxiety, insecurity or stress, but some children cannot readily identify it as so, which is why our knowledge of the individual child and their experience of COVID-19 and lockdown is critical. Prioritising time to develop and extend emotional vocabulary is therefore vital in equipping children to exercise self-regulation, build resilience and emotional intelligence.

The image below depicts the vagus nerve (yellow) which is one of the biggest nerves connecting the gut and brain and is important in the gut-brain axis and its role in stress.

Source: Nicolle R. Fuller/science.

The role of emotional intelligence (EI)

What if we could enable children to harness the power of emotions to their advantage?

In his seminal text, Emotional Intelligence. Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Goleman (1996: 4) emphasises the advantages of tuning into our emotions:

Our emotions guide us in facing painful loss, persisting toward a goal despite frustrations, bonding with others. Each emotion offers a distinctive readiness to act; each points us in a direction that has worked well to handle the recurring challenges of human life… Our emotional repertoire thus becomes imprinted in our nerves as innate, automatic tendencies of the heart.

Importantly, the emotional repertoire Goleman speaks of, can be a force for good or bad, depending on children’s formative experiences and relationships. The legacy of COVID-19 cannot be immediately fully understood, particularly the impact of trauma and its long-term implications on children’s wellbeing and behaviour. By embedding the five aspects of EI into your daily practice, you can support children to better understand their own emotions and the emotions of others, as well as building their resilience (Shanker, 2019; Siegel, 2007; Goleman, 1996). Remember, just like SR, we are not born with EI, rather it is nurtured through daily interactions and developed over time and with much practice.

The five aspects of EI are depicted below:

When we break down each of the five aspects, their links to the EYFS become clear:

·         Self-regulation – controlling own feelings and behaviours, self-soothing, bouncing back from upset, thinking before acting, curbing impulsive behaviour, concentrating on a task, ignoring distractions, Persisting in the face of difficulty

·         Self-awareness – recognising own emotions and drives, understanding the impact of own behaviour on others, understanding that how they see themselves may be different from how others see them, recognizing own strengths and challenges

·         Empathy – understanding the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of others. The more adept children are at empathising, the better they can control the signals they send others

·         Social skills – using effective communication skills to get on well with others, building and managing relationships

·         Motivation – persisting in the face of difficulties, having a positive attitude and a growth mindset about their learning and abilities. Negative and traumatic experiences inhibit motivation.

It is important to note that self-regulation (SR) provides the foundation of EI and that both do not ‘just develop’. SR is wholly dependent on co-regulation from the beginning, in the form of ever-evolving healthy and secure attachments and responsive interactions that model SR in line with the child’s age and understanding. Once a child can self-regulate, they become more adept at applying the core aspects of EI.

SR cannot be achieved via an arbitrary tick-box exercise –

as is now laid down as part of the revisions to the EYFS.

Developing the five aspects of EI in children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) requires abundant focused time and effort, as some children with ADHD, autism and non-verbal learning disabilities (NVLD) may need extra help learning to recognise and respond to others’ emotions. This can be achieved by modelling empathy in the moment, supporting children to recognise the messages from different types of body language, facial expressions and tones of voice and knowing what each means, facilitating lots of role play to help children imagine and understand how another person feels and playing games that help children to tune in to how expressions, body language and tone of voice can show how someone feels.

Pause for thought:

How will you build EI in children with SEND in your setting? Discuss a plan of action with your team.

How to Build EI Moving Forward

Settings have quickly adapted to make their environments physically safe by adopting a regimented approach to regular handwashing and disinfecting all resources as well as maintaining social distancing. Let us take a moment to reflect on the importance of ensuring the following are also high up on the agenda in your provision:

Prioritise children’s emotional wellbeing

Children’s emotional wellbeing must be the priority. Research continues to demonstrate the detrimental impact of stress and anxiety on neuroplasticity, learning ability and creativity (Porges, 2017; Siegel, 2016; Cozolino, 2013; Immordino-Yang and Damasio, 2007). Children under chronic stress exist almost exclusively in their ‘downstairs’, emotionally reactive brain and hence cannot access their ‘upstairs’ rational brain and use the executive functioning skills that are necessary for learning. Do not be afraid to go off timetable while you and the children reacquaint yourselves with the new ‘norm’ – this includes not wasting time trying to ensure children ‘catch up’. Head teacher at Low Hill Nursery School, Natalie Showell, is unequivocal about the positive impact of adopting a trauma-informed approach:

Wellbeing is at the heart of what we do and the choices we make, in terms of what is best for the children and staff. Adopting this approach has meant that our school was already operating in a trauma-informed way. This approach to the curriculum has stood us in an excellent position as we began to welcome more children back to our setting. The school is in one of the most deprived areas in the country, but in my opinion, it is full of amazing children and families who thrive through our approach. The children have been displaying some big emotions and need these feelings acknowledged and not dismissed. Staff are skilful in the way they interact with children and how they respond when a child becomes dysregulated.

Connect to calm

After months away from the setting, children will have missed the company of each other and their trusted adults. Re-establishing connections with each child by making time for talking, playing and being together, with no pressure of a prescribed curriculum will thus need to underpin your setting’s approach. An effective key person system will prove vital in helping children to maintain a sense of equilibrium and to express their thoughts and feelings while knowing they will be listened to without judgement. Mindfulness and yoga are also effective ways to decrease cortisol activity and reduce stress levels.

Encourage children to take risks and encounter challenges

There is understandably much fear around health and safety as a legacy of the pandemic but we must not lose sight of the importance of encouraging and enabling children to try new experiences, to ‘get stuck’ and to take risks. The benefits are manifold, ultimately creating a growth mindset alongside building tolerance for uncertainty, confidence, independent thinking, motor skills and perception.

Close collaboration with all parents

Many parents have done their best to home-school their children while simultaneously managing work commitments. Due to the diversity of experiences during the pandemic and lockdown, some parents may be feeling less resilient than others. Ensure you connect with each family to offer reassurance about their child’s wellbeing and development and possible concerns over regression, supporting them in line with their unique needs.

A consistent routine

Routines are vital in achieving and restoring a sense of security in children, especially as children have had disrupted routines and experienced consequent feelings of uncertainty and confusion during lockdown. Talking to children about their new routine and why it is in place will help them to understand what is happening and why. One childminder explains:

The children in my care are embracing the routine, they, as a lot of us, have been winging it each day. The structure of routine is reassuring for a lot of them (and me).

Keep it small

Keeping groups of children as small as possible can help to minimise anxiety in some children while reducing the risk of infection. One practitioner explains:

I work with reception children but ours have loved the small bubble of around eight. Children who usually struggle emotionally are thriving. They are all happy and have learned lots whilst being home - the learning has not stopped. Constant communication with parents and role play have been key.

‘Name it to tame it’

Coined by the eminent psychiatrist, Daniel Siegel, naming it to tame it is integral to EI. It is the action of naming the emotion, the experience or the person that is causing feelings of dis-ease, to help diffuse its intensity. By enabling children to use this simple strategy, their emotions can inform them and not overwhelm them. The key here is working with children to initially notice that they are having a strong emotional reaction, before describing/naming it. Children will be eager to talk about what they have been through these past few months – using these moments to develop their emotional vocabulary and self-awareness will be essential.

The great outdoors

The transmission of the coronavirus is significantly lower in outdoor spaces and enables practitioners to be more creative in the teaching and learning opportunities they provide, while children reconnect with nature. Learning outdoors also increases feelings of wellbeing while significantly improving personal, social and emotional development. One practitioner describes how they eschewed the indoor learning environment post-COVID-19:

We closed down our indoor nursery and moved it all outdoors, creating individual outdoor classrooms, so the children’s new base is completely different to what they were used to before returning, but they are all embracing it and thriving!

High EI provides the foundation for good health and success in all areas of life and is a necessary precursor to academic achievement. Let us use the backdrop of this global pandemic to make children’s emotional wellbeing the priority – the rest will follow.

Dr Mine Conkbayir’s new self-regulation app is now available to download for FREE on Google Play here. 

The app provides simple, scientifically proven ways to help children/teenagers prevent flipping their lid and find calm.