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zigzag

Advice needed with pooing problem

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I am posting on behalf of a very desperate Mum.  The explanation below is her words and I would love some of your advice and wisdom so that  we can try and help.  Thank you in advance.

I'm getting quite depressed about the pooing situation. I will try & tell you everything I can for you to relay onto the forum.
So, she started potty training not long after she turned 3. She was dry very quickly & has been out of pull ups at night for well over a year now.
She always pooed in her knickers. She would just take herself off & hide & do it. She has always been very scared of wanting to try & do it in a potty or down the toilet. I just thought she would get there eventually. But she never has. Some days she will do one massive poo or other days she will do 5+ little poos in her knickers. There is no set time.
I contacted the health visitors after it had been going on for so long. One of the nursery nurses came out & offered help & support & we tried all the things she told us. She has probably done a total of 6 poos in the potty/toilet in the whole 15 months we have been trying. I just don't understand it. She is so clever & very clean & I know it is actually getting to her now. I'm so frustrated with it now. We are waiting to hear back from the bowel & incontinence nurse. No amount of reward incentive seems to make any difference. She tells me she is going to do it but then just goes off & does it. 
Obviously home life is quite stressful at times because of the boys. But she has known no different & she does seem quite resilient to it. But I never know if it is a way of getting attention. Although she gets a lot of my attention anyway. I'm so worried as she is due to start school & I can't understand or see her ever cracking it.

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firstly i would recommend Lets talk about poo from ERIC.org Most of the questions raised will be answered on there and also there is a parent forum. 2...reassure this Mum she is not the only person dealing with this...really common! 3 i would suggest a visit to the doctors to discuss lactulose or movicol to ensure the poo is soft and easy to pass and this should regulate the 'events'. The eric website has a plan to get the children to poo on the loo if she follows the steps it will work! make sure the little one is drinking lots of water and having quick tries to go for a poo. watch out for the hiding and take her to the loo ...she can poo in her pants if she wants to to start with but she has to be in the bathroom!

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Thank you Finleysmaid I have passed all the information on to the Mum. 🙂👍

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38 minutes ago, zigzag said:

Thank you Finleysmaid I have passed all the information on to the Mum. 🙂👍

fab...hope it helps...as a parent of an ex bed wetter i empathise. If i was doing mastermind i might do toileting as my specialist subjectxD

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Personally I wouldn't recommend lactulose or movicol, as once they are on it, they have to stay on it for quite a while, and over my years of preschool managing I had to deal with several distressed parents whose children were now stuck with the medication, of they became constipated easily and problems really started.

Go the natural way with increasing fibre and roughage, cutting down the sugar rather than increasing it as lactulose does.   

I definitely agree with making sure children poo in the right room.  Do it in your pants if you want, but sit on the loo to do it.  Then of course, after a few weeks of this, you can cut a slit in knickers and it goes in the loo anyway.  

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