hopeytg Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Bit of a dilemma, a parent made a complaint to Ofsted 15 months ago which resulted in an inspection and the obvious stress that bring. Although complaints are supposed to be confidential the inspector asked questions which made it very obvious. The inspection went well but hardly the point as the parent rocked up yesterday asking for a place for her 2 year old. We are currently full so I said we did not have room until January, half hoping that would put her off. On top of all the above her sister placed her daughter with us the left with no notice in 2 weeks so we couldn't claim funding and were left out of pocket. My dilemma is do I mention that I know they made a complaint? I am really reluctant to accept another child from this family but don't think I can refuse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panders Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 The gall of some people,I own my own setting, I don't know your set up, but I would have the right of refusal I think. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeytg Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 We are currently Committee but I am in the process of buying the business. I did wonder if I could refuse as it not like school and on 'catchment' etc. I am hoping she doesn't return paperwork quickly and I can say we are full again. Love the way people also turn up on the first day of term and expect a place, we've had 3 new starts in 2 days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I think I'd be reluctant to grant a place too. If you are full, then you could 'offer a place on the waiting list' when she does return her form. Say it's not looking hopeful and you would recommend that she looks elsewhere if she want a place for her child before, say, Easter when you think you might have an opening if one of the children on your books moves up to nursery, as planned. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zigzag Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 If the complaint was unjustified and didn't come to you first, I too would not want them back at my setting. Just be careful how you go about it as you don't want another complaint made against you! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diesel10 Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 What a cheek. I would say full. It's probably best not to get involved with this family again. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyfs1966 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I would definitely say I am full, with no chance of a place. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lashes2508 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Agree Say your full and advise them to look elsewhere as you don't know when you have an opening 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueJ Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Ditto above - I would be full until this one reached school age 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Oh me too for sure :1b 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tish501 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 and me.....had a family like that last year .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I am likely to be in the same position next year I fear! I am loath to give the family a place (and they may not ask....but I know him too well to rule this out!) However we are a very close community and the likelihood is if I said I was full he would find out that others have been offered a place before him. I know that he would then complain again and say it was because of discrimination......I then get another complaint to ofsted ! feel I can't win in this one...I am praying it just doesn't occur but it gives me sleepless nights just worrying about it! LEA were useless when I asked...they said I would have to take The whole staff team have said they would refuse to work with him as he was so vile to us all....so what would I do???? sorry hopeytg ....no help at all to you....just to say I empathise really......lets hope someone comes up with a solution for us both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tish501 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Why do we continue to run our childcare business,when so much stress and lack of support from the powers that be.....in any other business as owners our decisions would not be questioned.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lsp Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Tish501 - very true. I wonder if it's possible to go down the route of refusing to take the child because you do not feel that the setting is able to meet all the needs of the child, especially their emotional needs. You feel that what has happened in the past will impact on those very important, in fact vital, keyperson relationships between the parents and adults in the setting. Your concern is that the child will not feel secure. Also you got NO spaces!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaMum Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Wouldn't touch them with a barge pole! As previously said, tread carefully, but I agree with Cait. Incidentally, what was the complaint about? I have had some complainers and the thought of them back would be me worst nightmare. We would always be treading on eggshells. Feel a policy coming on along the lines of what lsp has said above! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zigzag Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Trouble is, in this day and age we have to be inclusive and this could be seen as you discriminating against the child because of the parent. Could lead to a whole lot of trouble. I had this situation many years ago. The parent was vile, and the Grandmother was an Ofsted inspector. Mum thought she could stamp her feet and be so, so rude to us for no reason. I just managed to remain polite enough until her son left. We then had the sibling a couple of years later, which was so difficult. Since she left and their are no more children I am unable to speak to this women. I sympathise with you totally just please be careful how you go about it. :mellow: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeytg Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Thanks All, it is reassuring to just know that I am not being unreasonable. I am going to have to be so careful, but like so many have said why do we put up with it? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GFCCCC Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 With respect, I don't agree with those saying tell them you are full up - I would be very honest and say that we have had a meeting with the staff and committee and made a decision that we would prefer not to work with this particular family in view of the historical relationship which caused anxiety to your staff team. They could try and argue that you are treating them unfairly by claiming that they only exercised their right to complain to Ofsted for what they believed was a valid reason - but even if they did so, I would not have them back on the grounds that they were vile to your staff. Local authorities, banks, pubs, hospitals and all other organisations have clear statements that they reserve the right to refuse to serve clients who are abusive or rude to their staff - in childcare we have the same right. I would definitely not take anyone back who had behaved badly towards any of my team in the past. I think my team would lose respect for me if I did so. Childcare staff work hard in an often undervalued profession and they have a right not to have vile parents abusing them. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I agree that we do have the right to protect ourselves but as we know some people are regular complainers. The complaint we had was that we asked his child to go outside where there were ants when she didn't like them!!!! (REALLY...that would be why his daughter asked to go out then!) I really cant even be bothered to list the diatribe of rubbish we had to deal with daily...he has also caused such an issue at school that his daughter attends. Yet we do appear to have our hands tied If I refuse him a place he will complain if I give him a place he will complain if I say we have no places he will complain HO HUMMM ...hope they move house! :blink: :wacko: :unsure: My only plan is to tackle him head on and tell him that since we were no good last time ...and we haven't changed then he might be better going elsewhere 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GFCCCC Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I agree that we do have the right to protect ourselves but as we know some people are regular complainers. The complaint we had was that we asked his child to go outside where there were ants when she didn't like them!!!! (REALLY...that would be why his daughter asked to go out then!) I really cant even be bothered to list the diatribe of rubbish we had to deal with daily...he has also caused such an issue at school that his daughter attends. Yet we do appear to have our hands tied If I refuse him a place he will complain if I give him a place he will complain if I say we have no places he will complain Then let him complain! I would only ever care about a complaint if it was valid. Maybe its just me but If I feel that we are doing what is right I would take any one on - including the LA and Ofsted 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larnielass Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I was in the same position a few years back. Parent, owing us a LOT of money, complained to Ofsted. A few years pass and she pitches up at our Pre-school wanting a place for her latest offspring. I smiled and said that we could offer her child a place so long as the debt was repaid in full first. Never heard from her again!! Not very inclusive but hey ho. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lsp Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 But surely being inclusive does not mean we do not have the right to refuse people. We have to be very clear about our reasons for refusal and be prepared to stand up and defend those reasons. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyfs1966 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 (edited) I've noticed several nurseries whose enrolment policy says something along the lines of priority given by date of application, whilst ensuring the balance of boys/girls and an even range of birthdays....Frankly something along those lines seems to me to suggest they can pick and choose whoever takes their fancy! Edited September 10, 2015 by eyfs1966 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeany Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Having been in the same boat we were told in no uncertain terms by the LA that as the child was funded we had to take him. Part of the funding agreement stipulates that if we have spaces we have to give them to any child that is entitled. I did however make the parents fully aware of my concerns and put many things into place. Such as any small injury their child had i.e even a little scratch they would have to come in and check if they were happy for child to stay. This was as their unfounded complaint related to a fictitious incident/injury. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarshaD Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 It's incredible isn't it' how you can be 'bad' enough for them to complain but 'good' enough for a second try! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceinWonderland Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 i feel that you have the right to refuse anyone, you are not a school who has to take people from certain catchment areas. doesn't matter if they are funded or not. hospitals can refuse patients if their behaviour is out of order so why can't you! if they bring the forms back, you have a choice, be honest and say that you don't think it will work because of past history or tell them that you will put them on the waiting list and will contact them if a place comes up (which will never happen). depends how bold you feel on the day! i think being inclusive does not mean that you have to accept vile people, surely it's more about not refusing because of disability, sex, race, culture etc if parents are impossible to work with then you can't get the relationship going as needed to help the child, therefore not the right place for the child to attend. personally i would not have anyone back who treated us like that and i would tell them straight. If they complain-tough! i'm protecting my staff and other families. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeytg Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Thank you Pebbles133, I am not actively chasing their paperwork and meantime we are filling up nicely. I totally agree with what you say, businesses are allowed to refuse new customers and as also mentioned we are not governed by catchment areas so my refusing them a place does not mean they can't access alternative childcare. I just hope I have the confidence to say we are full when they return their paperwork. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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